I have privacy, and independence of sorts - and that's great.
However, I don't do anything "productive". I don't work or go to school, barely go to my support group. I haven't brought a single friend over, and it goes without saying that includes a woman. I don't use the microwave or toaster my mom bought me. And aside from the gym, pretty much make internet art in my fantasyland all day (which I call "Wonderland").
I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown from social isolation.
I'm waiting for someone to arrive and change my life, I'm "waiting for Godot." No one's coming to rescue me. And if I keep waiting - days, weeks, months, years might pass. Then my mom's going to get older, and go away. So will my "Maniac Man Cave" and I'll be in an assisted living group home. I think that's unnecessary. I'm VERY HIGH-FUNCTIONING.
I have to take action and do something, anything. But I'm having difficulty taking charge of my life. No one can do it for me.
Take today for example, I asked my mom to come over to look for jobs, college classes, and social events with me because I don't do it on my own. Also, if I want to take a college class, I need my mom's permission and approval to do so. Since she controls my money. I need to justify it to her.
She begins writing the email to the professor for me, dictating exactly what I should write, and gets angry if I don't listen.
I begin to get angry and frustrated that's she's controlling me. Send her away. She leaves. Then go back to doing nothing.
Someone, help me learn how to metaphorically "swim." What should I do? Job? School? Support Group? All of the above?
