Shane McMahon

Does anybody else think I look like a young Shane McMahon?

Dr. Natural said:
"Andrew
We all look like a lot of other people.  Why aren't you looking for people you resemble who are not famous?   A bit of a biased perspective, don't you think."

Although people have told me I resemble Shane McMahon a bit, don't daydream he's my half-brother because he's not. 

There are lots of people who I look like more, most of them aren't famous sons of a billionaire.

Vince McMahon is NOT my biological father, stop daydreaming.

Some Posts (10 31 2021)

Post 01:

I have a zit on my forehead that reopened last night - blood. This morning it appeared scabbed over. I put a bandaid over it before going to Starbucks. Then I put on my shoes, rinsed my hands, then decided to take off the bandaid because it looked ridiculous. Shoe water in an open cut - HIV risk?

Post 02:

I'm liking this new "Dad Vibes" Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit. He's so lame that he's badass. I hope to be that cool when I'm middle-aged. Oh wait, I'm getting there if not there already. Ugh!

This new babyface Brock Lesnar is another example of a Dad Vibes, I don't care, badass.

Post 03:

I searched the "Hulkster in Heaven" to laugh at Hulk Hogan's lame song for nostalgia. Then afterwards YouTube music kept suggesting Christian and Jesus music. It's algorithm picked the wrong keyword. I don't want Jesus. I want "I want to be a Hulkamaniac."

Post 04:

YouTube keeps advertising Applebee's to me. They know I'm suburban, white trash, and have no money because I'm searching for professional wrestling, superhero, and lowest common denominator entertainment. So they advertise, you'd like "eating good in the neighborhood."

Post 05:

At this point, I don't even need validation from society. I know my worth. I'm a million times cooler than Justin Bieber, Olivia Rodrigo, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Ryan Reynolds, all entertainers will ever be. I'm iconic, badass, a masterpiece. I don't care who acknowledges it.

Post 06:

When society finally discovers this masterpiece that's flying under the radar, Dr. Natural is afraid it's going to inflate my ego and I'll lose touch with reality. Is the alternative, thinking of myself as a worthless loser and living in poverty, really better than liking myself?

Post 07:

Nobody is immortal, a God, superior to others... BUT I worked really hard to accomplish being the best artist in modern history. I know Dr. Natural wants me to work with others so I my ego doesn't inflate. But frankly, few people are on my level when it comes to talent.

Post 08:

I'm like a bodybuilder who worked really hard at making himself look perfect. You might say the bodybuilder is an egomaniac, obsessed with himself, and whatever other criticisms you come up with. But to have a couch potato pose next to him is disrespectful to his hard work.

Post 09:

I don't think there should be the enormously wealthy - Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg - while there's homelessness and people living in poverty...

But also keep in mind, hard work should be rewarded.

I know people think I'm going to become an egomaniac.

Post 10:

Even if I do become super-rich and famous very soon, I'm going to try and stay in touch with reality. I don't want to become delusional, "Richie Rich", manchild, who forgets where he came from, and loses sight of all the injustices that Capitalism creates if you're not rich.

Post 11:

I lowered my meds again last night. Overall, I feel much better. My psychopharmacologist said every week to reduce by 25 mg until I'm off the Lamictal entirely. I'm halfway there. It's given me a fire, has woken me up. And the increase in psychosis I'll learn to fight naturally.

Some More Posts (10 30 2021)

Post 01:

I have acne on my forehead that popped two days ago. I keep thinking it's scabbed over. Then after a shower yesterday, and again today, it starts bleeding like it's never been closed or healed... Today, I was at NCC COVID Vacinatrion center, the gym, I touched it. An HIV risk?

Post 02:

Psychosis and delusions suck. I can't tell what's real a lot of the time. It's awful.

Post 03:

My life is passing me by. Soon I'll be dead. Too bad. Wasted so much time.

On second thought, most likely I'll be alive for years to come. You never know, though. An accident or illness can happen. I hope to be here for a long time.

Post 04:

I was having bad psychosis tonight. It's passing, though. Delusions and psychosis have ruined my whole life.

Post 05:

I feel alone most of the time, like I'm cut off from the real world, living in solitary confinement. When I put myself out there, everybody rejects and looks at me critically. I'm hurt and want to hide at home. Though, I'm frustrated I'm wasting my life.

Post 06:

Socialization is the key to recovery. But I feel do damaged and have no social skills. So I isolate. I need help. Somebody understanding to almost be a parental figure to me, sadly. Because I'm the a 34-year-old, mentally ill, adult child who isn't functioning by himself.

Post 07:

I don't talk to to my mom ever. I just sit in here alone. I see my father twice a week for a few hours. But most of the time it's solitary confinement.

Post 08:

I don't want to be in solitary confinement and want to have a relationship with my mom. Somebody said, "talk to her."

I'll try. But I think my mom's insane. She loves me, but is insane.

It's like she always yells at me, treats me like a child and worthless loser.

Some Posts (10 30 2021)

Post 01:

I'm coming to a realization that I'm not delusional. My parents really are my sadistic torturers. They put on this "loving" façade that dupes family members (like my stepdad), supposedly doctors are fooled... They're trying to sabotage me while pretending they aren't.

Post 02:

Realize: there I go again with the delusions. Can any psychopath keep up a façade this long without revealing holes in their story? Exactly! My parents aren't psychopaths who dedicated their life to torturing me.

Post 03:

My mother is my persecutor but pretends she isn't. She acts like this sick, clueless, old, suburban housewife. Behind this mask she's as evil as some of the most sadistic serial killers. Don't like her mask fool you. She's a MONSTER!

Post 04:

When the TRUTH was rising to the surface in 2011, my parents were gaslighting me, making me think it's all psychosis and mental illness. They were brainwashing me, trying to mess up my memory.

Post 05:

Unfortunately for my stepdad, he was fooled by my mother and it's going to look REALLY BAD for him. He's going to APPEAR like a sadistic criminal too. He's not. He's simply an innocent fall guy. The torturers are my mother and father.

Post 06:

Circa 2011:

Often, my mother would go into doctors appointment and speak FOR ME. Getting her narrative about my life documented. Much of her narrative is lies. It's her attempting to cover up her crime - which is torturing me in my childhood. It's no delusion. It's reality.

Post 07:

My parents still bring up the torture, but they speak in metaphors. For example, we'll have conversations about people like: Chris Benoit, Adolf Hitler, Islamic terrorists, the Long Island serial killer - they're triggering me into getting worked up and looking "delusional."

Post 08:

My parents were playing a sick game with me, my stepdad, the school system, my doctors, all of society. My mother and father had a secret, that they sadistically tortured me, and they were trying to convince EVERYOBODY that they loved me and succeeded to for over thirty years.

Post 09:

I was getting contamination fears, so my father made a comment that I found suspicious, he said: "don't worry you'll never get HIV." The way he said it was a little off. I wonder if he was taunting me about something that happened years ago. Or worse, poisoning me in the present.

Post 10:

There I go again. I'm blurring fantasy and reality. My parents love me. I'm going to leave the delusional posts public, though, because maybe it can help someone. Or be turned into a movie or book about mental illness, like I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by, Joanne Greenberg.

Artwork (10 30 2021)

 The Alien (10 30 2021):

Radio Shock Jock (10 30 2021):

Life - Grow With Others (My Dads Coloring) (10 30 2021)

Life - Grow With Others (My Dads Coloring) (10 30 2021):

Cradle of Aviation Museum (10 30 2021)

 Cradle of Aviation Museum (10 30 2021):

Another Planet, Cradle of Aviation Museum, Astronaut (10 30 2021):

COVID-19 Vaccination (10 30 2021)

COVID-19 Vaccination (10 30 2021):

Some Posts (10/28/2021 and 10/29/2021)

October 28, 2021:

Post 01:

I have the super special brain. It's brilliant, but defective.

Post 02:

What's your goal in life? I'd like to create something world changing.

Post 03:

Even the most famous people are forgotten 50 years in the future. I bet you college kids can't name most rock bands and presidents during that time. It is what it is. Even masterpiece work, when you're dead, who cares unless you've changed the world for the better.

Post 04:

You can change the world by being a beautiful person. Friends have changed my life for the better. I've changed theirs for the better.

October 29, 2021:

Post 01:

For so long, I wanted others to make me rich and famous. I thought I needed friends, family, doctors... And I couldn't have done it alone. People certainly helped me along the way... Only when I stopped expecting others to do it for me and did it myself did I truly shine.

Post 02:

My art rules. I should be making lots of money from it RIGHT NOW. Even if I isolate the certain work from the grandiose vision, cash in, and sell out... I should have more than 2,000 dollars to my name. My art shines so brightly it actually glistens. PAY ME!

Post 03:

I'm not sure if I should go to the gym or not because I have a fresh scrape / cut on my hand and afraid of contamination. Should I put a bandaid on it and go? Or walk around the neighborhood? My gym workouts more intense. I feel better afterwards too. What do you think?

Post 04:

Maybe years from now I'll eat my words and be wrong... BUT I was listening to Mark Zuckerberg describe Meta and the Metaverse. He's trying to be a "futuristic visionary." But his ideas sound horrible, like delusions and fantasy that will ultimately fail in the end.

Post 05:

A big tech, social media, "futuristic visionary", who gets mad with power then tries to take over the world sounds like a good concept for a James Bond super villain for a Hollywood movie (if it hasn't been done yet). Think "Meta" Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs.

Post 06:

Does Mark Zuckerberg realize he's not coming across like a genius or visionary? He looks like an alien, what he's saying sounds like propaganda being fed to the sheep by a futuristic dystopian society. The ridiculous thing is Facebook started out as him rating people at college.

Post 07:

There's problems with your social life when the most socialization you get for months, then years, is from a cordial conversation with an acquaintance barista at Starbucks and an awkward "hello" to the people working the desk at the gym. I wonder what they honestly think of me.

Post 08:

For so long, my only socialization was the baristas at Starbucks and the kids working the desk at the gym. They probably said: "here comes the buffoon cartoon character." Behind my social awkwardness is a hurt, sensitive little bunny, who is crying out for someone to love him.

Post 09:

I was SUPPOSED to go out to dinner tonight with family, BUT a gigantic zit on my forehead popped in the shower, it's bleeding like crazy and I was afraid it would get contaminated in a public restaurant... So I cancelled on them and won't leave the house tonight. Help, I'm crazy.

Post 10:

Yesterday, I was having a conversation with my dad about a professional wrestler called "Orange Cassady." I said I don't like his gimmick because he doesn't try to win. If it's a fight you're supposed to be intense. Even The Spirit Squad when they got in the ring became intense.

My father often talks in metaphors. He said Orange Cassady doesn't need to try in his matches. The opponent will exhaust himself. He says give me your best shot. In the end, I'm going to win. Is he REALLY saying there's going to be a supreme court case soon, me vs. my parents?

Jim Norton

With Jim Norton on November 12, 2011, at The Brokerage in Bellmore. (The date might be slightly off):

With Jim Norton on January 9, 2015, at The Brokerage in Bellmore:

With Jim Norton on March 4, 2016, at The Paramount Huntington:

My father with Jim Norton on March 4, 2016, at The Paramount Huntington:

Some Posts (10/27/2021 and 10/28/2021)

October 27, 2021:

Post 01:

I went to the deli. There was a hair in my macaroni salad. Yuck. Gross. But don't worry about contamination, right?

Post 02:

I had a rough day with isolation and delusions. I'm doing good now.

Post 03:

I'm not sure why I'm getting more psychosis. Could be the reduction in meds. Could be isolation.

October 28, 2021:

Post 01:

I get the Nitro Cold Brew from Starbucks every morning. It's omg caffeine. I get it black. It's bitter, not sweet. Today, there was slight sweet residue on the lid of the cup. I didn't know what it was. Most likely, it was "Pumpkin Spice" from somebody else's coffee. Don't worry!

Post 02:

Since reducing meds I've been sleeping less, but maybe 8 hours of sleep is better than 12 hours.

Post 03:

Ever since I had the big and small mayonnaise viral video, and began calling myself: Mr. Mayonnaise, which is a nickname that's fading away at this point... My mother has been buying mayonnaise for me at a rate much faster than I can eat it. I don't even like mayonnaise that much.

Post 04:

I feel like I'm living in solitary confinement most of the time. Alone in my head ALL DAY LONG. Socializing in the real world would be more effective then any psychiatric medication. My psychosis and poor mental health is bad because of isolation.

Post 05:

I often blame my mother, claim she's forcing me to live in solitary confinement, keeping me a disabled adult child... But she never interacts with me anymore. The door is wide open to do whatever I want. My chains are internal, not maternal. My fear of the world makes me isolate.

Post 06:

Hypothetically speaking, if the baristas at Starbucks didn't know me yet, I could go in there and pick up a free drink and pastry from the mobile order section. It's potluck, it's a mystery what you're getting. I'll be a rogue, traveling town to town, living off Starbucks theft.

Artwork (10 28 2021)

Solitary Confinement (10 28 2021):

Capitalism (10 28 2021):

My Dads Colorings (10 28 2021)

Birds Can Fly (My Dads Coloring) (10 28 2021):

The Eye (My Dads Coloring) (10 28 2021):

Delusions Have Passed

The delusions have passed. I've calmed down. I'm going to leave the posts public, though, because maybe it can be turned into a screenplay. My parents love me. The sadistic persecutors were the bullies in middle and high school. I was, without a doubt, severely bullied in school.

Final Posts For The Day (10 27 2021)

Post 01:

My car is back and ready to go. When I picked up my car, I got a lot of wetness on the sleeve of my long sleeve t-shirt. It was soaked. Even if it was grease, or worse somebody's sweat, that's not how you get HIV. And the likelihood a psychopath was trying to murder me is slim.

Post 02:

What I'm told by my mother are "delusions", I'm afraid aren't delusions, it's just years of brainwashing into believing torture didn't occur. My mother gaslights me, makes me think I'm crazy, she even fools other family members like my stepdad, but the truth is abuse occurred.

Post 03:

My mother is putting on a facade and even fools me... then I start to blind myself. But even when I deny reality, it doesn't change the truth, my parents are my persecutors. They sadistically traumatized me in my childhood, my mother PRETENDS she loves me, but it's no delusion.

Post 04:

My mother puts on this phony character of the most loving mother that's ever existed. But she's two-faced. She's really covering up her sadistic crime, creating an elaborate alibi and narrative, framing me to look deranged and mentally ill. I was the victim of my parents torture.

Post 05:

I can deny reality. Blind my eyes yet again. Say: "It's all delusions and my parents love me." Live in this sinking ship while my doom gets closer, and closer... I'm exposing the truth for all to see. I've been crying for over thirty years. Nobody is coming to save me, ever!

Post 06:

What's next? Everybody says: "you're delusional, Andrew." I go through the system - psychiatric hospitalizations, forced to take an enormous amount of psychiatric medication (which I'm doing compliantly at the moment)? Although this is a sinking ship it's easier to live in denial.

Post 07:

I experienced suffering and torture that was unimaginable hell or earth and didn't even realize the severity of it. There was a rough, tough, trashy family that I could even recognize had problems. My mother said: "they're jealous of you." The truth is they had it easier than me.

Post 08:

Although my mother is responsible for the childhood torture, then proceeded to gaslight me. The truth is she felt SOME guilt, unlike my father. It was a tangled web of lies. I was very sick from the "bullying." But she could've kicked me onto the streets and made me homeless.

Post 09:

I accidentally cut myself shaving. I'm afraid my hands were contaminated. Let it go. Life doesn't get worse than what I lived through. I'm not reckless, most likely I'm never going to get HIV. Good days are coming, I'm FINALLY going to crack and smile and become happy!

Post 10:

Frankly, who the hell cares about Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Ryan Reynolds, Vince McMahon, etc. My entire life has been hell beyond your wildest imagination. These millionaires, billionaires, beautiful people, celebrities would be unable to relate to my horrific pain and suffering.

Some More Posts (10 27 2021)

Post 01:

I often get paranoid a psychopath fast food worker is going to resent me for no reason and poison my food with HIV to rob me of fun for whole life. Then I read it's much more likely they'll poison you with drugs. That was all I needed to hear to be paranoid I'm getting drugged.

Post 02:

There was a puddle of wetness on the sidewalk where road repair workers were working. I accidently stepped in it. My sock got wet. I'm afraid it was urine, or worse. Can you get HIV this way? No, right? Besides, it was probably just from a water bottle.

My mother said it's not HIV, it's probably rain. But it's not raining. Everywhere else is dry. And it was a pool of water. Very mysterious. But it was in front of somebody's house which makes urination unlikely. Could be dog urine, though. I saw a lady walking a dog. Don't worry!

Post 03:

When the psychopathic murderer, or getting contaminated with HIV phobias arise. Realize: There I go again. Same broken record. Don't worry, just let it go. In the four years I've known Dr. Natural I haven't been bullied or harmed in real life. It's possible, but very improbable.

Post 04:

I concluded with Dr. Natural I'm so terrified of the world. I imagine chaos, psychopaths murdering me for no reason, everyone laughing at and viewing me critically... So I hide at home. The only bullying I endured since meeting Dr. Natural was from a psychopathic cyberbully.

Post 05:

I told Dr. Natural I don't think of the bullies anymore. I've moved on. He disagrees. He says I think of bullies constantly. It's just not clear to me.

Because of my frustrations and hostile dependency, I'm often delusional my parents are sadistic persecutors who're torturing me.

Post 06:

My parents were leading me to believe I'm sick and need a mega regimen of psychiatric medication. I've compliantly taken it for a decade now and will continue to do so. I'll only reduce it with my doctor. But I'm coming to the realization I'm not that sick and meds are unnatural.

Post 07:

I'm often dramatic about coming off my psychiatric medication, which I'm doing with my doctor's permission and instructions, like I'm The Joker coming off his meds. But in many ways, my symptoms were worse on higher doses of medication and there are so many adverse effects.

Post 08:

There was never a need for me to be medicated so heavily. I was being abused by my parents, was passive, home all day long, internalizing, and living in a fantasyland. I didn't need a mega regiment of psychiatric medication, I needed a life in the real world and independence.

Post 09:

Instead of asserting myself to my parents when they were abusive and controlling, I was passive, being over medicated, given a chemical lobotomy. What is the long-term damage that being on high doses of medication has done? I'm afraid of the worst, something life-threatening.

Post 10:

My mother made an off-color remark a few nights ago about the Long Island Serial Killer. She said, "They can't prove who it is."

I started to think she was mocking me that I can't prove how she's tortured me all my life.

A double meaning? Or predicate logic (psychosis)?

Post 11:

Am I delusional and my parents aren't sadistic torturers? Or are they framing me to look like "Jack the Ripper" while they put on the facade of loving, concerned parents to cover up childhood SADISTIC TORTURE? There I go again. I'm getting psychosis. Let it go! They love me.

Some Posts (10 27 2021)

Post 01:

I often blame my mom for my current situation. My psychiatrist suggested I try blaming God instead. Meaning, it's not my mother's fault and there's nobody to blame, besides the childhood bullies.

Post 02:

Don't get overwhelmed by pressure, stress, when something doesn't go as planned. Although you can go into hysteria and crisis over a broken car, instead try to relax and calmly solve the problem. Nothing everything is the dramatic worst case scenario.

Post 03:

I'm happy to be reducing these meds, but during comedy yesterday, I felt a little anxious, self-conscious, and disoriented from reducing the meds. I did ok. It was fun overall. I'm good at comedy and enjoy doing it. I just feel a little off. I hope I'm ok during the final show.

Post 04:

About comedy last night, it's OBVIOUS I have a severe mental illness. I even talk about it during my act. My performance was good. I'm just having extreme self-consciousness. Nobody was looking at me critically. If anything, they probably find me adorable and are inspired by me.

Post 05:

When you have a severe mental illness, and your flaws are exposed like you're wearing the crazy Scarlet letter, you assume everybody is looking at you in a critical way.

About comedy. Just relax. Have fun. Don't have a panic attack. It's a night out of the house. No pressure.

Post 06:

I get delusions my comedy class is full of undercover celebrities. For example, a woman with a Russian accent is putting on a disguise but it's really Taylor Swift. Another guy is Adam Levine from Maroon 5 undercover. Another woman is Jennifer Aniston. These are ordinary people!

Post 07:

Take things at face value. If I did meet a celebrity they would introduce themselves as such. They wouldn't be an undercover boss or magical soulmate secret admirer wearing a disguise. These people aren't Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Adam Levine, Jennifer Aniston, or Ryan Reynolds.

Post 08:

I brought my car to the auto shop this morning. They need to do 2,000 dollars worth of repairs on my car. I have less than 2,000 dollars in the bank in my name. Thankfully, my parents are helping me out. But I desperately need to find a way to make money so I can be independent.

Post 09:

There was a lot wrong with my old, beat up car.

While I don't have enough money for 2,000 dollars worth of repairs on my car - parents are helping. Elon Musk just broke the record for the most money "earned" in a single day ($36 billion)... And they say capitalism isn't broken.

Post 10:

My car is old, unsafe, and on the verge of breaking. My mom wants to sell my car and buy my stepdads. While her plan makes sense, I don't have the money to make this happen by myself - I'd need FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE. I have less than 2,000 dollars. I'm powerless. It's their money.

Bunny (10 24 2021)

Check out this Snapchat filter.

I'm wearing bunny ears. I'm a wholesome, lovable little bunny just like my BFF. :)

Some Posts (10 26 2021)

Post 01:

There's lots of reasons my dad puts borders around his artwork. So it's easier to scan, it's his trademark. I think the real reason my dad puts borders around his artwork is he's mocking me because he thinks he caused me to develop Borderline personality disorder by torturing me.

Post 02:

I was rehearsing my comedy jokes on my dad yesterday. It was like walking on eggshells performing to him. Almost like he was heckling me, trying to make me as uncomfortable as humanly possible, inflicting anxiety, instead of letting me perform relaxed.

Post 03:

It was raining and humid this morning, my air condition and defogger wasn't working in my car, because of the weather my windshield was fogging up. So I rolled down the windows, but rain was getting on me. As a car drove past, they soaked me with tons of water. Can you get HIV?

Post 04:

I leave a shirt in my car to wear after the gym. For some reason, my car was unlocked and the shirt was wet. I'm afraid a psychopath contaminated my shirt while I was working out. Now I'm wearing it.

A psychopath wouldn't kill me in an absurd way. They'd punch me in the face.

Post 05:

I want to socialize with friends and do something for Halloween this year. I still have Spider-Man from 2019... BUT I've wanted to be The Joker for a few years now. Maybe I'll go to Spirit Halloween and get a Joker costume. I have the face paint already.

Post 06:

I've been decreasing Lamotrigine (Lamictal) with my doctor's permission and instructions. I decreased from 125 mg, to 100 mg, to 75 mg... soon I'll be off it entirely. I feel a tremendous difference. I have tons of energy. But my anger, depression, and mood are more intense.

Post 07:

From a slight reduction of the mood stabilizer Lamotrigine (Lamictal), I feel like a superhero during my workouts. I can accomplish a hard workout with ease, which was much harder a few weeks ago. It's only the beginning of the reduction. Maybe I can make myself nice and fit.

Post 08:

The main reason I wanted to eliminate the mood stabilizer Lamotrigine (Lamictal) is for cognitive functioning reasons. The medication causes brain fog and a lack of energy. If I want to rock and roll during comedy, I need to think quickly and be alive, to shine like a rockstar.

Post 09:

Now that family members have left, I see the writing on the wall. My life is like a sinking ship. Frankly, when my mother dies I'm screwed. So it's time to crank up the intensity even more with my artwork and social media posts. This is not a game. It's time to become FEROCIOUS!

Post 10:

I'm getting my car repaired tomorrow morning, so I can't attend a dermatology appointment that I've been waiting weeks for.

I called my mom.

The point is, everything gets her high-emotion, stressed out like it's the biggest catastrophe to ever happen. It's not a big deal!

Post 11:

Only with me does my mother gets worked up with high-emotion, stressed-out catastrophes. With other family members, she's relaxed. She wants my car repaired and I'm stressed that I won't go to the dermatologist because I'm afraid of skin cancer. Our chat is so absurdly dramatic.

Post 12:

Problem resolved! I took my mother's dermatology appointment on Monday. I've been overexposed to sunlight for YEARS. Outdoors all day long, often not wearing sunscreen. Don't be a hypochondriac and catastrophize the worst. Most likely I don't have skin cancer... To be continued.

Post 13:

Everything doesn't have to be dramatic, fearing worst-case scenario catastrophe. If you encounter a problem, approach and solve the problem patiently and calmly. Don't panic and get INTENSE. Find Zen, inner peace, keep calm, be relaxed. It's going to be OK.

Post 14:

If 10 is the absolute worst-case scenario, not everything is a 10. You can have a situation that's a 6 or 7. Being late to a doctor's appointment and not being able to find your car keys, or a broken car is annoying... But don't react to it like it's a 10. It's not THAT BAD!

Post 15:

Don't get overwhelmed by the slightest amount of pressure or stress. Unfortunately, certain family members are high-emotion and I need them to "solve my problems for me." They view me like I'm the bain of their existence. They get stressed. It's hostile dependency. It's hell!

Post 16:

The problem is a lack of independence. I'm 34-years-old, with less than 2,000 dollars in my name. So I NEED my parents to support me at the moment. I'm angry about it. They're angry about it, view me like a worthless loser. It's the source of most of our fight. Hostile dependency.

Post 17:

I daydream my soulmate, secret admirer, fairy-Godmother is going to arrive soon. She'll wave her magic wand, make me rich and famous. I'm no longer dependent on my parents. My dream woman is here. I have a mansion. All my wishes come true. A weight gets lifted off my back. Heaven.

Some Posts (10 25 2021)

Post 01:

For some reason my dad doesn't purchase anything related to me from his home computer. Don't ask me why. I have no idea. Today he was being an aggressive bully. Then bought a ticket to my comedy show from my computer. Now I'm getting a fear it was with a fraudulent card.

Post 02:

I need to realize my dad can be an aggressive bully. He was completely wrong today, was gaslighting me, making me think I'm the crazy one, while he was behaving like a lunatic... BUT that doesn't mean he's framing me for a crime by using a fraudulent credit card from my computer.

Post 03:

Technically, my dad COULD frame me for a crime by using a fraudulent credit card on my computer. He instructed me to turn away. I have to trust him. There I go again. He made me angry. It doesn't mean he's going to betray me in a criminal way. It's an overtaking emotional tsunami.

Post 04:

My psychopharmacologist gave me permission and instructions how to come off my last remaining mood stabilizer. I'm not the one who needs to be a medicated. I'm a lovable bunny. It's abuse from lunatic parents that cause my emotional tsunamis to overtake me... and I've had ENOUGH!

Post 05:

I have some major financial problems. I'm a 34-year-old disabled adult child, with less than 2,000 dollars in my name, dependent on my parents to support this house of cards. Frankly, I need money. I feel so beyond a supermarket or restaurant. Does anyone want to buy any artwork?

Post 06:

I'm so talented. I should be in movies. My artwork should be in art galleries, get published in a book... Sadly, I'm wasting my life and when my mother dies, I'll be up schitt's creek without a paddle. I need and deserve massive success. Make me rich and famous right now.

My Car

Listen, there are some MAJOR PROBLEMS with my car and I simply don't have the money to fix it.

For example, today after the gym my air conditioner/defogger wasn't working. I could barely see out my windshield driving home. It was dangerous.

However, most of the time it works. And when it's working the man at the auto shop said it's hard to figure out what's wrong with it. It has to be broken to diagnose.

Also, the "service due soon A" light is on. I'm not sure what it means. But I'll bring it to the auto shop very soon.

I think I need a new car. But have no money.

I might be seeing my BFF tomorrow.

Comedy at 6 pm tomorrow. Haven't gone in over a week. I need to get there.

The dermatologist Wednesday morning.

Plus I love going to the gym.

I could Uber or taxi. Again no money.

I could walk to Levittown (which is far). It'll be exhausting, dangerous, and take forever. And when it gets cold it'll be impossible.

I asked my parents if I could borrow their car because I only drive locally, I'm very careful and safe. They told me I can't use their car.

And I want to take my friends to my show in my car in November.

I'm not sure where to apply to make money but feel so beyond Starbucks or a supermarket.

Does anybody want to buy my artwork?

Artwork (10 25 2021)

Mask (10 25 2021):

Drowning, Ocean (10 25 2021):

Help Me, Greek Mythology (10 25 2021):

My Dads Coloring (10 25 2021)

My Dads Coloring (10 25 2021):

Artwork (10 24 2021)

 Man-Child (10 24 2021):

Why did this happen? (10 24 2021):

ANT (10 24 2021):

2 Sides of Life (My Moms Coloring) (10 24 2021)

2 Sides of Life (My Moms Coloring) (10 24 2021):

Some Posts (10 24 2021)

Post 01:

Yesterday, I was at a sketchy restaurant and a shopping bag fell on the carpeted floor. I grabbed it and scratched the ground where everybody walks in NYC. Let it go. Right? It's craziness, same contamination fears broken record again, and again, and again.

Post 02:

Yesterday, I was in NYC. Earlier in the day I hurt my thumb where the nail meets finger. My thumb wasn't bleeding, but was blister-like and throbbing. I was all over NYC subway, sketchy restaurant, a play, etc. Don't worry about contamination from traveling with a cut on my hand.

Post 03:

I was in a bagel shop this morning. I was dressed in a youthful striped shirt, behaving boyish. The college age woman was making me socially awkward.

Some jerk about my age said to his girlfriend, "everybody knows he's old." Meaning I'm a man-child that doesn't want to grow up.

Post 04:

The man at the bagel shop didn't need to criticize me for looking like a man-child. I realize I look ridiculous, standing there like a deer caught in headlights wanting a parental figure, dressed too youthful, don't know how to interact with young women. But he hurt my feelings.

Post 05:

In public, I feel like my flaws are crystal clear to everyone, like people know my life story just by looking at me and they think: "wow this guy is a freak and a man-child."

Don't have extreme self-consciousness. Yes, I encountered a jerk this morning. But most people are nice.

Post 06:

Sometimes I feel like a buffoon in public, like everybody's saying: "here comes BROKEN Matt Hardy, this guy is so strange he's almost like a sensational pro wrestling character." The truth is I've experienced a lot of sadness. I don't like when people laugh at me. I'm not a joke!

Post 07:

I just used the bathroom at home after being in public. I did wash my hands when I got home, but I'm catastrophizing about contamination fears. The contamination shifts first it was NYC, then touching a coin, now it's the bathroom. Each new example replaces the previous one. Help!

Post 08:

Yesterday I watched a play about homelessness. People often get PTSD and can't function due to traumatic life experiences, then develop mental illness and psychosis. If they don't have a support system and love, people can wind up homeless with nobody caring they exist.

Post 09:

I am a brilliant man. I was traumatized by sadistic persecutor bullies, was in a state of chaos and panic. Frankly, if my mother kicked me out on the street, I'd be up schitt's creek without a paddle. Homeless. Let's listen to Elon Musk and Donald Trump about how society's great!

Post 10:

We live in a selfish, unempathetic society. People's mental health can become damaged by sadistic persecutors, they might need help recovering. Millionaires, billionaires, politicians, and celebrities don't care about homeless people's pain and suffering. It doesn't affect them.

Stand-Up Comedy

I'm doing stand-up comedy again. All new material. Please buy a ticket and support me. Thanks.

BROKEN Matt Hardy (10 22 2021)

BROKEN Matt Hardy (10 22 2021):

Music Shared With Others Equals Love (My Dads Coloring) (10 22 2021)

Music Shared With Others Equals Love (My Dads Coloring) (10 22 2021):

Andrew (10 21 2021)

 Andrew (10 21 2021):

Artwork (10 20 2021)

My Artwork (10 20 2021):

Crying (10 20 2021):

Please Lend A Hand (10 20 2021):

My Dads Artwork (10 20 2021)

My Dads Artwork (10 20 2021)

Rainbow Full Of Sound (My Dads Coloring) (10 20 2021):

Baying At The Moon (My Dads Coloring) (10 20 2021):

Owen Hart

Owen Hart's revival of The Blue Blazer gimmick really was funny... until he died.

He was playing an incompetent, self-righteous buffoon "superhero."

At Over The Edge 1999, they were going to have him decent from the rafters, pull this quick release cord when he got close to the ring, to fall on his face and look like a buffoon.

The problem was a quick release was meant for the sole use of sailboats. To put a human in a situation where he could yank a cord and fall was extremely reckless and dangerous.

While adjusting his cape, preparing for his descend, he accidentally pulled the cord, repelling, falling from the rafters into the ring, and died.

A gimmick that was comedic immediately became extremely unfunny, dark, and depressing. While he was dying in the ring they were playing a hype video where he was telling silly jokes. It was surreal.

It became one of the darkest days in pro wrestling history, if not the darkest.

His family tried to sue the WWE for negligence. They settled out of court.

Some Posts (10/17/2021 - 10/19/2021)

October 17, 2021:

Post 01:

Just get any job and try not to get grandiose feelings. Hey, I'm not making money. I'm not above it. Recover, maybe I'll meet friends there too. Do positive self-talk.

It's hard because I think I should be a millionaire movie star and artist.

I hate listening to bully managers.

October 19, 2021:

Post 01:

I fully support people living in poverty, think the enormously wealthy need to be taxed, etc.

But I'm tired of going into terrible neighborhoods. The first hundred times was fine. This is going to end with me getting murdered. Maybe it's time I just stay in Long Island.

Post 02:

The funniest of jokes/pranks lose their funny if tragedy happens. You might lead the buffoon Richie Rich from the suburbs into crime-infested neighborhoods as a goof. Eventually, he's going to be a victim of a crime, the joke won't be funny, it'll just be sad and depressing.

Later that evening after the show:

Post 01:

Although we've been sensationalizing that my father is going to betray me in recent pictures and videos, and my father is posing as a loving dad, the truth is behind the buffoon character you're witnessing is a sadistic monster who is really getting ready to severely betray me.

Post 02:

My father often talks in metaphors. For example, a social media commercial came on the radio. There was a whistle that sounded like cuckoo (the crazy whistle). He did it in a taunting way while also pretending he was imitating the radio. It was a metaphor intended to rile me up.

Post 03:

I brought up BROKEN Matt Hardy with my father during the car ride home. How he's the craziest of crazy, but a lovable kind of crazy. I was joking, trying to be his buddy. Then my dad made a "Matt Hardy is a pedophile" joke. It clearly was a metaphor intended to upset me.

Post 04:

If my father really is a sadistic monster criminal then why the long con? Why is he putting on the facade of a loving, involved father? If he truly tortured me, it's no delusion, it's gaslighting... Then why does he bother to see me? Is he preparing for a supreme court case?

Post 05:

There I go again. My father isn't doing a long con. He hasn't been PRETENDING to be my buddy but is getting ready to betray me in an over-the-top way after duping me for years. This doesn't sound realistic. It's delusional. My father is not a criminal. There was no torture.

Post 06:

I spent a lot of time with my father tonight. More hours than usual. I feel like my father couldn't conceal his true colors anymore and basically told me the truth through metaphors. Am I delusional? Does he really want the best for me? Or am I right - he's a sadistic torturer?

Post 07:

Speaking of metaphors, my father randomly brought up Killmonger from the Marvel movie Black Panther. He's a marine. My stepdad was in the army. I got predicate logic that my father is saying he's going to frame my stepdad. He's just their fall guy to pin this on.

Collage (10 16 2021)

Collage (10 16 2021):

BROKEN Matt Hardy (10 17 2021)

Artwork Created By Me:

BROKEN Matt Hardy 01 (10 17 2021):

BROKEN Matt Hardy 02 (10 17 2021):

Artwork Created By My Dad:

BROKEN Matt Hardy (My Dads Coloring) (10 17 2021):

Collage (10 16 2021)

Collage (10 16 2021):

Collage (10 17 2021):

Artwork (10 14 2021)

 Mask (10 14 2021):

Lava (10 14 2021):

Fantasyland (10 14 2021):

The Aliens (10 14 2021):