Crime Up In Major US Cities, Police Defunding

Ever since COVID-19 and the George Floyd murder, crime is on the rise in US cities. I heard violent crime is up 300% in New York City. The liberals say cut funding to police and it's the conservative narrative that the city is unsafe. I consider myself mostly liberal, but police presence makes me feel much safer because it's fact there're DANGEROUS CRIMINALS out there. I found if you aren't doing anything wrong, the police typically leave you alone. It's the people who aggressively draw attention to themselves who get harassed by police. It's absurd they're letting the cities go to hell. They're turning into Gotham City (from Batman). I consider myself a weak person who gets harassed by criminals. It makes me want to stay in Long Island (the suburbs).

Recently, there was one isolated case of a white male violently targeting Asians. That was all over the news. There's been a lot of anti-Asian hate crimes, but it's not getting reported... wonder why. I guess man bites dog is newsworthy.

Andrew (04 30 2021)

 

April 27, 2019 (Two years ago today)

April 27, 2019.

Two years ago today.

Love Depravity (A Poem)

Love Depravity

(A poem I wrote for a mental health writing class)

I've never been "in love." Severely and sadistically bullied.  No safety. No shelter. Wanting protection. But the world is a chaotic place. Deprived of young love. Everybody’s having fun beside me.  Betrayed and blindsided. Humiliated and degraded.  Rejected by society.  All alone.  Then I went crazy.  No social skills.  Isolation. Could've died. Self-destruction. I needed intervention. Nobody cared. Six psychiatric hospitalizations. Wearing the crazy scarlet letter.  Everybody’s critical of me. Defective FREAK.  Extreme self-consciousness. Desiring love. Friendship’s still fleeting. Extreme anxiety.  I don’t fit in anywhere. No desire to be a part of the real world. Delusional daydream land.  Comforted by my imagination. They tell me it’s not real. To live in the real world. I want to be alone. Cut off from the world. Wallowing in self-pity. Pain and suffering.  It's too late to rescue me.  Wasting time. Getting angry. Why did nobody rescue me? Where are my "friends"? My family? Why did this happen to me?  Am I to blame? I FINALLY met a friend. The best friend of my life. It feels too good to be true. Attachment issues. Too needy.  Life revolves around one person. It can end at any time. Will she betray me?  A sadistic monster too? Trust issues. Remembering she loves me. Rapid delusional mood swings. Ruining meaningful relationships. Life is fleeting.  Everybody goes away. Death is the last chapter of our lives. Life doesn’t have to be torture. We can have moments of happiness. In between the sadness.

My Mothers Bank Account ("Savings Card")

Because I saved over 2,000 dollars in assets, had over 3,000 dollars in the bank, my mother told me to remove it. She opened an account under her name (with my money). A savings account "credit card". She was very vague. Didn't tell me what it was. Left me clueless. SUPPOSEDLY I'm the beneficiary.

I have the card, the pin number, but HER NAME is on the card - technically it's her money now. She tells me to use it. It's ok. Save money in there, withdraw, there's nothing to worry about. I'm afraid by using my mother's "savings card" I'm being tricked into committing a crime. I wanted to save money under MY NAME. Or don't worry? My mom loves me. She isn't trying to harm me?

I have the card now. I can use it. But I'm afraid to. What do you think I should do?

Did My Parents INTENTIONALLY Make Me Live Through The "Holocaust"?

Do you think my parents INTENTIONALLY sadistically tortured me? If so, on a scale from one to ten, how badly do you think it was? 1 being normal happy childhood. 10 being holocaust Nazi Germany.

Or do my parents love me? Anything they did wasn't intentionally inflicted. The sadistic monsters who INTENTIONALLY tortured me were the bullies in middle and high school. They 100% got pleasure from my suffering. They enjoyed terrifying me. That's a fact. 

My parents are a frustraton daydream. They're not sadistic torturers.

When I get angry I feel like my parents 10 tortured me (made me live through the "Holocaust"). My delusions correlate with emotion.

My doctor asked: why don't you feel any empathy once the delusions pass? Surely I should feel guilty about calling my mom and dad Hitler. Maybe the reason I don't feel empathy is because there's truth to it. What do you think?  

Would you feel bad for Hitler if you were in a prison in Nazi Germany?

I feel like although I say "my parents aren't sadistic torturers" so I don't get medicated, or hospitalized... Down deep, I feel as though they are, and know they are. It's just years of gaslighting. I have to blind myself to the truth because I'm financially dependent on them. A disabled adult child who is being prevented from flying. It really is hell on Earth. Kind of like the Holocaust.

The loving parent image they present in public, in front of doctors, to everyone important is a facade. The truth is they get pleasure from my suffering. They've intentionally made me live through the Holocaust my whole life and pretend like they don't.

Somebody HELP ME!!!!

Mace Pepper Spray

Going into NYC to have rockstar day with my friends from the psychosocial clubhouse. NYC is a bit like Gotham City with crime. Criminals beware... I have Mace pepper spray. But seriously, hopefully nobody harasses me and ruins the beautiful day. I really don't want problems.

Comedy College

Yesterday, I had my first class at comedy college. It was a lot of fun. I got up on stage, introduced myself. I told them my favorite comedians and the comedians I didn't like. I didn't think I would do well and would freeze up due to anxiety. But I was surprisingly comfortable and charming.

Getting out of my house and socializing was great for my mental health. I was thinking about canceling due to anxiety and self-consciousness, but a good friend pushed me. So I attended and so glad I did. It was a positive experience.

I'm going to have a performance at the end of the eight-week class.

Anxiety

I have a tremendous amount of anxiety. It's because of my home environment (which isn't intentionally inflicted) and getting bullied at school (which was intentional). When I get worked up and angry at my mom, realize she's NOT a sadistic torturer, she didn't inflict this.

IT'S TRUE

The sad realization I'm coming to is IT'S TRUE. Rather than rescue me they told me I was crazy, hospitalized, and heavily medicated me. I've been taking a mega regimen of psychiatric medication for a decade. My doctor says there's no evidence it causes cancer, but it's unnatural.

UPDATE:

The delusions have passed. I now believe my doctors are trying to help me and my parents love me. I'll get more empathy about the tsunami.

O.J. Simpson

I just had a telephone conversation with my mom. I asked her if we had any orange juice. She said, "O. J.?" I started to get predicate logic she was calling herself "O. J. Simpson", that she will get away with "murder" even though everybody knows she's guilty. 

My mom loves me!

Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift T-Shirts

Lady Gaga T-Shirt:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/AcTpKJydCUBnDm8w5

Taylor Swift T-Shirt:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/mHpFxVoeCbvSYML4A

IMPORTANT: Cabergoline, Invega, Brain Cancer

I've been taking an overdose of Cabergoline since at least 2015 because of the Invega significantly raising prolactin (my psychopharmacologist wrote a letter of medical necessity). Yes, it helps with sexual function somewhat which is good. Obviously, no meds would be best. Now I'm reading it can cause pituitary tumors (brain cancer), breast cancer. I get intense headaches that correlate with sexual function. I guess it's helped with psychosis, but will I be dead from brain cancer now? I feel like I'm being forced to take this garbage by my mother.  

Love And Isolation

I've never truly been "in love." At least that's what I felt for most of my life. In school, I was severely and sadistically bullied. I never got to experience young love and felt everybody else did. People who were supposed to be my friend betrayed me.

In my twenties, I went crazy. I never developed my social skills, was isolated, could've died, and my parents did nothing to stop my self-destruction for YEARS until it was so painfully IN-THEIR FACE they had to do something.

Even after my six psychiatric hospitalizations, friendships were still fleeting. There was no love. Maybe it was my fault.

As days went by, I had no desire to be a part of the real world anymore and felt I didn't fit in anywhere. I felt like a defective freak with extreme self-consciousness.

I said: "I'll isolate myself forever living in a delusional daydream world. It's too late to rescue me. I want to be alone."

I wasted so much time cut off from the world. My teenage years, my twenties, the beginning of my thirties. 

I was angry at "friends" and family who let this happen. I thought I'd isolate myself for the rest of my life, wallowing in self-pity, feeling pain and suffering forever and ever.

Then I met a friend at the psychosocial clubhouse. Love isn't always "like the movies." From my point of view, it was love nonetheless. I have attachment issues and can be too needy. When somebody gives you an ounce of love you do everything in your power to hold onto it. I need to remind myself it can end at any time.

Love is a basic human need. I've suffered from no friendships for too long. I want a REAL LIFE. It's great I have a real friend now but don't want my life to revolve around one person. I don't want people to go away. After years of solitude, friendship feels too good to be true.

Life is fleeting. Even good friends and family inevitably go away, even if they don't want to because death is the last chapter in everybody's life.

I need to remind myself my parents love me and didn't do this to me intentionally. It's just sad.

Some Posts (04 14 2021)

Post 01:

I'm a disabled adult child with no money saved.

In some recent photographs, I was holding many hundred dollar bills. Somebody asked me how did I make that money.

Joke answer? Or a serious answer? The serious answer is stimulus check. But I can think of many comedic answers. Lol.

Post 02:

My parents have the power and control in this household and that includes technology. They're completely out-of-touch. There are problems with our internet - it's very slow. They're know-it-alls, blame the weather, work in the neighborhood. They have no idea what talking about.

Post 03:

While saying the years of suffering I went through gave me "brain cancer" is like a metaphor. It feels true, but there's no proof besides headaches. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if it is true. I'm certain the years of extreme frustration damaged my brain in some capacity.

Post 04: 

As days go by, I have no desire to be a part of the real world anymore. I don't fit ANYWHERE. I feel like a defective freak. I have extreme self-consciousness. So I'll isolate myself forever living in a delusional daydream world. It's too late to rescue me. I want to be alone.

Post 05:

I've wasted so much time. I'm angry at "friends" and family who let this happen. I'll isolate myself for the rest of my life, wallowing in self-pity, feeling pain and suffering forever and ever.

Photos (04 13 2021)

Photos (04 13 2021):

My Mothers Bank Account That I'll Have Access To

This month I had over 3,000 dollars in my checking account.

My mother doesn't want me saving more than 2,000 dollars in assets because then I'd lose SNAP (foodstamps) and Medicaid.

She's been telling me to withdraw 1,000 dollars from my account (which I did), then she created a bank account for me with my $1,000 in it. I think it's a savings account. She was very vague. 

She says I'm a beneficiary, meaning my name is sort of on the account. But the card is in her name. It's under her account. The money is technically not mine. She's going to give me the card and pin number. Is that a crime? I'll be withdrawing and depositing money from her account. She said it was okay. 

I need to remind myself she loves me, is trying to protect me, and not trying to frame me for a crime. That's delusional. The truth is losing SNAP and Medicaid would be foolish. There's no nefarious conspiracy going on here.

Reddit Post Seeking Friends

I made a post on Reddit seeking a friend. I'm sort of joking because I'm not expecting to meet anyone, so I tell an absurd, over-the-top story about myself... but I'm sort of serious because if I do meet someone it'd be awesome. 

Here's what I wrote:

"I'm a 33-year-old disabled adult child who is looking to date his "Harley Quinn." Growing up, I was severely bullied, so I have no social skills (had minimal socialization throughout my life).

Then I developed a severe mental illness. I wasted a lot of time solitary. I'm financially dependent on my parents, live at home. I began living in a daydream world (delusions).

With that said, I'm an absolute badass rockstar. It's only a matter of time before I'm a millionaire, possibly even a billionaire. I'm looking to meet a woman who is attractive, petite, intelligent, and a little crazy but has a heart of gold (like me). My "Harley Quinn." Ideally, someone who lives close to Nassau County, Long Island, New York. I'm interested in something long-term. I'm an EPIC artist, comedian, actor, and like to perform.

Was the previous paragraph delusional? Lol.

I'm very interested in friends and socialization because most days I'm alone ALL DAY LONG, in my head."

Dirty Money

I touched dirty money that I just withdrew from the bank, then applied eyeliner. Let's say hypothetically speaking if I literally rubbed bank money in my eyes - do I have to worry about HIV?

Psychopharmacology Appointment

A month or two ago during my psychopharmacology appointment, we reduced the Invega - an antipsychotic.

My psychopharmacologist asked me to make an appointment ASAP because I don't sound like I'm doing good after reading my cry for help frustration e-mail.

I don't think that's necessary. I'll keep the appointment as regularly scheduled. Here's why:

To start, the appointments are expensive and my mother is in control of making them. We're certainly not millionaires.

Secondly, I usually have my frustration temper tantrums at night after a day of complete solitude. Even my psychopharmacologist would go crazy if he saw nobody in person every single day. Meaning isolation would drive sane people insane. SOCIALIZATION IS BETTER THAN ANY MEDICATION!

Thirdly, most patients are probably doing worse than me. I know many people at the psychosocial clubhouse who I'm higher-functioning than, less sick than, yet they're on hardly any meds while I'm the entire pharmacy. It's so frustrating. 

I'm extremely vocal, like an open book. I appear worse than I am because I'm an exhibitionist who publicizes his life on the internet. And during the session, I'm so vocal and frank that it's almost ridiculous. If I don't want to be heavily medicated I need to learn to SHUT MY MOUTH.

Also, I'm doing fine. I feel better overall on fewer meds. Less zonked, able to think clearer, more talkative, able to express myself better. I feel more "intelligent" and it's so useful for my performance. 

Friends say it really improved social skills. I'd just stare into space like I had a chemical lobotomy before. Plus all the adverse side effects have gotten better (we all know the bad ones). 

Yes, I'm a little "crazier" but that's ok. I'm happier overall. It's good to be a little nutty.

To be perfectly honest, I don't want to increase the meds because I'm already on a mega regimen. If anything, I want to decrease even more.

The conclusions I'm coming to about my parents, even if it isn't literal, the emotion is true. It's like a metaphor -  it FEELS LIKE they're sadistic tortures even if it wasn't intentionally inflicted.

March 21, 2012 (Atlantic City 50)

March 21, 2012 (Atlantic City 50):

HIV Blood

Want to roll your eyes at me? 

There was a red spec on the Gatorade my dad got me. Could someone, maybe the cleaning lady, have bled on it while moving it? How long will HIV live in dried blood in the refrigerator?

Then I looked at my pillow. There was a small red stain. Could the cleaning lady have bled while making my bed?

I want to send photos - but won't. It's the same crazy broken record. I'm afraid of contracting HIV then having no friends forever.

January 29, 2017

 January 29, 2017:

Summer 2006 (Orland Florida Vacation)

Summer 2006 (Orland Florida Vacation):

I Need To Get Away From Mommy

It's horrible being a 33-year-old disabled adult child. I’m trying to stay humble and not sound “grandiose”, but I’m an artistic goldmine. A Comedy GENIUS! I try saying it in a calm voice but nobody listens, so I'LL SCREAM IT UNTIL I VIRALLY EXPLODE ON SOCIAL MEDIA! 

My mom doesn't literally call me a "worthless loser", but when she gets in her moods she treats me like I'm the bane of her existence. She's extremely critical, certainly not encouraging me in my art. She acts like I need to be a disabled adult child, incapable of achieving anything more.

Throughout my life, I've been deprived of friendships - the most frustrating being minimal sex with women. I want to have a sexual awakening but can't while I'm living with mommy.

I'm in chains. I want somebody to liberate me from this bondage. It’s filling me with RAGE. Somebody validate me. I should be a millionaire superstar. I am so good. And mommy isn't letting me fly. 

People tell me to get away from my controlling mommy and live with my dad - that'll never happen. So I'll SCREAM, AND SCREAM, AND SCREAM on social media. Can't a friend, family, doctor, anybody save me from this hell? The frustrating thing is I have SO MUCH POTENTIAL, have so much going for me. My doctor tells me my chains are internal, not maternal - I don't agree, I'm being stifled by an overbearing mother. It's hostile dependency.

I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH THAT I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO BECOME RICH AND FAMOUS. I'm told my internet posts are a fantasyland and are not my ticket to superstardom.

Crooked Picture

 Crooked Picture

Train Easter (04 04 2010)

Train Easter (04 04 2010):

Sleep Late

I love when I get to sleep late and don't have to worry about getting up the next day. I put my phone on silent then sleep until whenever. Tonight will rule!

Why Not?

Right now I'm fine. I know this post will probably get my account suspended, but... if there's no God and my Hollywood pipe dream is delusional. Then when one more major trauma happens (like my mother's death) then why the hell not. My life will be torturous and not worth living.

They say suicide is never an answer to enormous pain. But I'm nearing a crisis, my life is ready to explode, and I'm pretending everything is fine. I could be homeless if don't take action. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM OUT MY PAIN, HORROR, AND FRUSTRATION. I NEED HELP! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Mentioning suicide was a cry for help. I'm in pain, frustrated, and scared about my future. I need in-person socialization because I'm isolated and to be busy. Also, financial independence couldn't hurt.

All these posts will do will lead to the men in white coats coming to take me away.

My Mom (04 06 2021)

 My Mom (04 06 2021):

I think my mom intentionally wore the COVID-19 mask and sunglasses knowing I was taking photos. Basically, she's saying when the mask of a loving mother is removed, she's a black, cold, empty, heartless MONSTER who intentionally tortured me while pretending she wasn't doing so.

Misc

 Traffic Cylinder:

Mailbox:

Boat:

Basketball Net:

Psychiatric Meds (Schizoaffective Disorder)

Psychiatric Meds (Schizoaffective Disorder)

Regarding Meds And The Doctor Conspiracy

Dr. Natural said:

"You and I and (your psychopharmacologist) have observed the same thing - on the lower dose of medication your emotions come with more intensity, which is good and bad.  It is bad when negative feelings drive delusions which kindle more frequent and more intense attacks on your support system, as has been the case more often recently.  You remember and remind yourself of one task we have in psychotherapy -  helping you to feel some remorse after you lash out at the people you depend on - but you aren't there yet.  You can frame the task, and are working on it, but you haven't yet achieved it.  When the delusions intensify, you stop short of thinking that (your psychopharmacologist) and I are in on the scheme against you, but at those times you consider me naïve, thinking I have been fooled by your Satan mother, and at those times, your don't worry about hurting Satan's feelings.  Nobody worries about hurting Satan's feelings.  Nobody feels remorse when the Devil suffers.  Assuming that (your psychopharmacologist) agrees, one course of action would be to go back up on the medication for now, re-establish more emotional control, continuing working in psychotherapy to master the delusional outbursts by seeing them for what they are, then, having demonstrated progress in psychotherapy, revisit the idea of at some point in the future trying to lower the meds again.  That would be my suggestion."

I respect both your and (my psychopharmacologist) suggestion to increase the Invega. But I'm ALREADY on a mega regimen, I'm practically the entire pharmacy, I feel like a lab rat. As I stated, I feel so much better on the lower dose in so many ways. Obviously, the emotional tsunami daydreams (delusions) get worse, but I can work on that by not getting so worked up. My friends have observed on lower meds I'm more talkative (less zonked) and so many of the adverse effects have gotten better - because it's natural. So I'd like to remain on 6 mg for now. Is that o.k.?

As we've established "feelings drive delusions." When my parents anger me, irritate me, I become frustrated - and can't let out my RAGE - then I turn into Marvel's The Incredible Hulk inside my head. I'm passive but start having daydream delusions and become confused. 

An interesting observation when you said I think my doctors are in on the conspiracy. I sometimes feel (my psychopharmacologist) knew there was torture going on, but turned a blind eye, gave insincere lip service, and medicated because it was too tough an issue to tackle. Now that the truth is coming out, he's trying to say I'm crazy to cover his ass because he's afraid of getting sued. Then Dr. Natural, who is friends with (my psychopharmacologist), tried to protect (my psychopharmacologist) by framing me as crazy. And in the end, my Hiter SATAN parents win. Right now I'm aware this is delusional and you're trying to help me. I am lucky to have the best doctors in the business thanks to my wonderful parents. The real villain is how my mind works.

PLEASE READ - What I wrote for a NAMI writing group (From "The Maxx" prompt)

The Maxx Episode 1 (1995)

By: Sam Kieth

https://vimeo.com/40704262

What I wrote for a NAMI writing group (From "The Maxx" prompt):

____

The society we live in doesn't care about the homeless, they're seen as being burdensome "criminals" to police and social workers. Many homeless people suffer from mental illness, either their mental illness makes them live on the street because they don't know how to function in the real world, or they become ill due to the unimaginable hell they live through.

Many homeless people become rage-filled at successful people, for example, the rich woman in the show. They were attracted to her and viewed her as "all that's wrong with society" because she's either a millionaire or a billionaire. So they likely killed her.

Nobody is empathetic towards the pain that drove the homeless person to snap and commit a crime. Police say "arrest them, throw them in jail." It's not a black and white/good evil issue. Isn't the woman they killed bullying and committing a nonviolent injustice against the homeless man by ignoring his pain and suffering.

Many homeless people begin living in a fantasyland, a daydream world because their real world is too painful. They're forced to be uneducated and don't have the tools to escape their hell. The wealthy, police, social workers villanize the homeless - shouldn't they villainize society, the millionaire, and billionaires as well? Though, it's no excuse for killing the rich woman.

____ 

  

At some point in life, everyone gets bullied (some more severe than others), whether it's by a sadistic psychopath (a criminal), kids at school, their parents. Trauma often leads to mental illness. Then with that trauma, the victim can become the bully.

Some people try to fight off their rage and help people who are going through struggles (become a "superhero" and break the cycle), while the weaker, evil, more sadistic psychopaths take pleasure in victimizing the weak. 

Unfortunately being weak, naive, not in a position of power makes you scriptable to bullies, it makes you a target. You need to get strong, assert yourself, and fight for good.

Even if you don't believe in God or religion, the right thing to do is fight off the concept of evil and help the truly wholesome and good. 

Just because somebody is a psychiatrist doesn't make them "good." They're often concerned about their life, their career, their job - and it's easier to ignore the struggling, give lip-service, with no intention of truly helping when you really need to stand up to evil. This is "sort of" what happened in Nazi Germany. The ordinary civilians were too afraid to stand up to Hitler and the Nazis. Just because you're afraid for your life, don't turn a blind eye, because you never know the Nazis can come for you next. Sometimes the bully is too powerful for one person and you need a strong person to help. Sadly, some victims never get help.

____

On a much lighter note, what I found helped me fight off extreme sadness was comedy. Playing an over-the-top, sensational, absurd, "craziest of crazy" "pro-wrestling-like" character based on myself (dark humor). Some people can't laugh at the extreme sadness - which I understand. I can and it's therapeutic for me. With that said, much of what I post is true, I'm just extremely dramatic - myself with the volume turned WAY UP!  

Increase or Change Meds

My psychopharmacologist recommended increasing the Invega (an antipsychotic). I asked if we can hold off.

(What I wrote to him):
Can we wait before we increase Invega and try to get my emotions under control in CBT? I'm already on a mega regimen and the increased dose really zonks me. The adverse effects have gotten significantly better on the lower dose. On 9 mg I don't say much and just stare into space. Friends have observed I'm more talkative on the 6 mg. Plus sexual function has gotten better. Maybe if I realize it's emotion, control my emotion, I can stay on the 6 mg. Because there are so many benefits to being on lower meds.

My psychopharmacologist said:
"We could try something new like Vraylar and try get you off Latuda and Invega.  It sounds either like immense suffering or dramatizing immense suffering or both... I respect your wishes but I can see that the tone is becoming increasingly desperate and the imagery more macabre."

The Delusions Have Passed

My delusions come and pass. They've passed. I now believe my parents love me. But delusions are coming more frequently and intensely. I'd like to hold off on increasing the Invega if possible. I'd like to work with Dr. Natural some more in CBT. Maybe I need to feel more empathy about getting the delusions. Maybe not villainizing my mom for my pain and suffering will help the RAW EMOTION TEMPER TANTRUMS pass quicker. I just get so overtaken with pain and frustration, that's when the tsunami overtakes me, and I send confused rage-filled posts.  

HOLOCAUST-LIKE UNIMAGINABLE SUFFERING

The following post is "delusional." THE DELUSIONS HAVE PASSED. But I'm going to leave it public:

MY MOM AND DAD MADE ME LIVE THROUGH HOLOCAUST-LIKE UNIMAGINABLE SUFFERING. THEY SHOULD BE JAILED FOR LIFE (OR WORSE) FOR THE HELL THEY PUT ME THROUGH. INSTEAD, I'M LABELED AS SEVERELY MENTALLY ILL, THEY GASLIGHT ME, AND I'M A DEPENDENT ADULT CHILD. I NEEDED HELP FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE AND MOST PEOPLE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GET INVOLVED. MY CHAINS AREN'T INTERNAL, THEY'RE MATERNAL. SHE'S A GATEKEEPER.