HIV Scare Posts (06 30 2023) - 2

I asked Kelly: "Did you have premeditated intent in giving me the HIV scare in January 2020 or am I getting delusional? Some social media content looks VERY FISHY. I want to believe you're my ally and best friend, not someone who would hurt me like that"

I said to Kelly: "I'm sorry for accusing you of that. Maybe it's predicate logic. The whole thing feels like it was INTENTIONALLY done to me and social media kinda says it was. If so, why? I want to believe I'm delusional. I don't think I am."

Kelly said: "You're being delusional."

I said to Kelly (about being "delusional"): 

"Am I though?

Please tell me the truth

Why did you do it to me?

I thought you were my friend

Your photographs admitted it was going to happen"

Kelly said to me: "Andrew, I won't be writing to you for a while...until you heal. I don't have the capacity to deal with this right now."

I said to Kelly: "I'm sorry for how sick I've been. I'll leave you alone until I can see clearly how you're the best again. I hope you had a nice day"

Dr. Garrett said: "In your posts you frequently plead "Tell me the truth.  I know you are gaslighting me.  Be honest with me."  But then no one says yes, you are right, I have been gaslighting you.  Kelly doesn't tell you she was a nefarious conspirator."

Dr. Garrett said: "Why don't people admit they are gaslighting you when it seem so obvious to you that they are?  The most obvious answer is that they don't admit to gaslighting you because they are not gaslighting you."

Dr. Garrett said: "You seem unable to consider the possibility that the reason people don't "admit" it is that in fact you are mistaken and there is nothing to admit."

Something else Dr. Garrett wants to "focus on is your seeming lack of distress over the fact that your sense of reality swings wildly from one extreme to the other sometimes within hours.  It should make you anxious that your mind works in this way, but it doesn't seem to."

WASH (06 30 2023)

WASH (06 30 2023):

Paradise Studios (06 23 2023)

Paradise Studios (06 23 2023):

HIV Scare Posts (06 30 2023)

Post 01:

In January 2020, I stepped on debris at an upscale lounge in New York City then went on PrEP. Afterwards, I felt damaged in a way. Very traumatizing.

I'm guessing it was simply an accident, not a conspiracy with premeditated intent.

Post 02:

I start getting mind going haywire delusions that everyone conspired to get me to take PrEP. Calm down. It's just emotion. No one would be cruel like that for no reason unless they were a mean person.

Post 03:

I struggle with "conspiracy delusions" thinking people are deceiving me in some major way. People are exactly who they say they are usually.

Post 04:

Can you tell me the truth about January 1, 2020? Like Dr Garrett says, maybe I simply stepped on debris and took PrEP. Maybe it was my decision. Not a conspiracy to metaphorically rape me. Maybe they are telling me the truth that nothing happened other than that.

Kelly said months ago (about me saying how there was an HIV conspiracy to hurt me): 

"Complete delusion 

There was no needle. You overreacted and you asked for hiv meds against everyone's advice. 

Get over it. Move on"

Some Posts (06 29 2023)

Post 01:

I want the transparent God's honest truth even if it's very bad. No revisionist history. No excuses.

Post 02:

Enough with the lies and gaslighting. Tell me the truth no matter how horrible it is. 

I suspect what I don't know is extremely bad... And they're letting me know through hints it's even worse than I'm imagining. I'm already imagining something catastrophic and major. It's BAD!

Post 03:

The truth that they've been lying about is so bad that when they FINALLY tell me, my mind will go haywire and I'll go completely insane... As I should. As anyone who was put through this should.

Dr. Garrett said: 

"Why don't people admit they are gaslighting you when it seem so obvious to you that they are?  The most obvious answer is that they don't admit to gaslighting you because they are not gaslighting you.   You seem unable to consider the possibility that the reason people don't "admit" it is that in fact you are mistaken and there is nothing to admit.  At times you include me and Dr Coplan in the putative gaslighting crowd.   As I have told you before if you really think I am deceiving you, you should terminate our conversation."

Post 04:

People are kind of telling me through hints... The reason they conspired to give me the HIV scare is because some "delusional" woman made a false allegation against me that they believed. Is this really why? Did they really hurt me over something that wasn't true?

Post 05:

There is a reason it's INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY in the court of law. Before you self-righteously conspire to do "vigilante justice" ask yourself, could the person we are hurting be innocent? I was a gentlemen in my relationships and did nothing wrong.

Post 06:

Everyone tells me no one INTENDED for January 2020 to happen and there is no deception. Is that true? Listen to Dr. Garrett? Or did they conspire to do "vigilante justice" over a false allegation? If so, they all deserve to be in prison because I feel metaphorically raped.

Post 07:

All kidding / trolling aside, is this really why January 2020 happened with premeditated intent? If so, I'm going to be so angry because I am AN INNOCENT MAN.

Artwork (06 28 2023)

Oh No, We're In Hell! (06 28 2023):

Sad (06 28 2023):

My Dads Coloring (06 28 2023)

My Dads Coloring (06 28 2023):

HIV Scare Posts (06 28 2023)

Post 01:

I need to go to a mental health trauma specialist. Obviously, my parents can't afford it. But Jesus Christ this PTSD is HORRIBLE. It began after January 2020 and feeling like PrEP tainted me with HIV. No one empathizes at all. They yell at me and tell me not to feel this way.

My mother said: 

"They have ptsd support groups.  Cbt is for ptsd talk to garrett how to get to feel better.  Go to dr draw blood to calm yourself that will calm your ptsd too.  Ranting online, winding youself up are all ptsd triggers and u do it all.  Best treatment is cbt."

Dr. Coplan said: 

"The PrEP seems to have traumatized you. What was it about PrEP. What it symbolized. You thought something was tainted with HIV."

Post 02:

Someone asked if I'm doing ok.

I replied with: not really.

Because I'm not really ok at all. I need help, intervention from someone, anyone. I need someone to genuinely love me and be my friend.

Post 03:

I need to remember no one would conspire to give me the HIV scare to metaphorically rape me. That's my mind going haywire. What would the motivation be anyway? No one is lying, deceiving, keeping a major secret that there was premeditated intent to damage me.

Post 04:

I felt clean, like a virgin before January 2020, now I feel raped, traumatized, and metaphorically HIV positive. Though, my blood work is clean. That doesn't change it was my decision to take PrEP. No one conspired to torture me. Accept I'm getting emotional at the moment.

Post 05:

I stepped on debris at an upscale lounge in New York City and had a panic attack. It was an accident, not a metaphoric rape. That's what everyone tells me. Believe them. They're not monsters behind a mask. There was no gaslighting or premeditated intent to torture me.

Post 06:

I don't know why I still feel something fishy was going on - but I do. Remember Kelly's heart of gold. She wouldn't take a vulnerable mental patient, who is at rock bottom, and etch a metaphoric rape into my psyche. The Fountain House is there to help people recover from sickness

Post 07:

Kelly was not deceiving me. She's exactly who she says she is. She was simply trying to help me recover by giving my life experiences for the only time in my life. I'm just frustrated by the breakup and solitude. It's an unintended consequence of the romantic relationship ending.

Emails, Dr. Garrett, June 2023, conspiracy theories

Dr. Garrett's Email:

Tuesday, Jun 27, 2023, 6:50 PM

Andrew

Regarding resuming psychotherapy, I don't think it is in your long-term interest for me to simply provide a forum week after week for you to articulate your conspiracy theories.   They are like a broken record playing the same themes over and over again.  Nothing changes.  

Here is a place for us to start talking again on Thursday.  In your posts you frequently plead "Tell me the truth.  I know you are gaslighting me.  Be honest with me."  But then no one says yes, you are right, I have been gaslighting you.  Kelly doesn't tell you she was a nefarious conspirator.  

Why don't people admit they are gaslighting you when it seem so obvious to you that they are?  The most obvious answer is that they don't admit to gaslighting you because they are not gaslighting you.   You seem unable to consider the possibility that the reason people don't "admit" it is that in fact you are mistaken and there is nothing to admit.  At times you include me and Dr Coplan in the putative gaslighting crowd.   As I have told you before if you really think I am deceiving you, you should terminate our conversation.  

A second thing for us to focus on is your seeming lack of distress over the fact that your sense of reality swings wildly from one extreme to the other sometimes within hours.  It should make you anxious that your mind works in this way, but it doesn't seem to.  

Dr G

Artwork (06 27 2023)

Walking Yet Again (06 27 2023):

Tell Me The Truth (06 27 2023):

Crying (06 27 2023):

The Face (06 27 2023):

I'm So Sad (06 27 2023):

I Suspect It's Bad... It's Even Worse (06 27 2023):

HIV Scare Posts (06 27 2023) - 2

Post 01:

Can somebody tell me the truth and stop mocking me and turning me into a laughingstock? They intended to give me the HIV scare to torture me. Can somebody just admit what is obviously true? Why would these psychopaths do this to me? ADMIT IT!

Post 02:

Hello FBI, Kelly Han conspired with others with premeditated intent to give me an HIV scare on January 1, 2020 at the Dirty French lounge in New York City. I was vulnerable and needed mental health recovery and she metaphorically raped me by getting me to take PrEP.

Post 03:

I was going to the Fountain House for mental health recovery. I was broken, at rock bottom, and had been living in a solitary fantasy world for years. Kelly Han is a psychopath who instead of helping me, decided to etch a metaphor rape into my psyche. She should be in prison.

Post 04:

It's not predicate logic or idea of reference delusions, they are admitting in photographs on social media the HIV scare going to happen prior to it happening. I was naive and gullible. Instead of helping me, the Fountain House traumatized me worse than I already was traumatized.

Post 05:

Kelly Han hurt me with premeditated intent, she metaphorically raped me, and there is nothing I can do about it because in the United States of America metaphoric rape is not a crime in the court of law. If it's not illegal, it should be illegal. Sadly, all I can do is say it.

Post 06:

They're fucking bullies, monsters, torturers who should be in prison and I can't do a damn thing because because they'll say it was "my choice" which is complete bullshit. They gaslit me into taking PrEP to make me feel HIV positive because they're SADISTIC and EVIL.

Post 07:

They're probably laughing, find my suffering hot and funny. Realistically, they should be locked in prison for rape, but that's not going to happen. They metaphorically raped me when I was vulnerable and needed help and will simply get away with having tortured me for no reason.

Post 08:

The metaphoric rape drove me to madness. I was in the poor person's psychiatric hospital because of the trauma they put me through. There's without question premeditated intent. I just have to accept it and move on with my life.

Post 09:

These psychopaths should be stripped of their money and power and locked in the poor person's prison, like I was locked in the poor person's psychiatric hospital because of the trauma they put me through.

Post 10:

I can't see how that was ever good intent here. Assuming they wanted it to end like "The Beatles." But they probably never expected me to expose what they did. "The Beatles" is revisionist history.

It's going to end with me being viewed like Elizabeth Smart, not John Lennon.

Post 11:

I feel like I'm going to snap and come unglued. It's from the trauma of having gotten metaphorically raped and nobody caring about me whatsoever. I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. I want to punch a hole in the wall and scream "somebody empathize with and love me."

Post 12:

The metaphorically raped a vulnerable mental patient who needed somebody to love him. I thought the fountain house was supposed to be a clubhouse that helped people. Instead, when I was already at rock bottom, they gave me the most traumatic experience in my life for no reason.

Post 13:

Assuming they wanted revenge for God knows what. Maybe they disliked my father? Maybe I'm actually Vince McMahon's son and it's like the movie Double Jeopardy for The Blue Blazer? What they did was give someone who was already broken the most traumatic event of his life.

October 21, 2019

October 21, 2019:

October 21, 2019

October 21, 2019: