My "BROKEN Matt Hardy" Movie Idea

I’d love to write a “Broken” Matt Hardy comedy movie – because it practically writes itself.

(Remember this is fiction)

Matt Hardy is an arrogant, young wrestling star. A member of a popular Tag Team The Hardy BoyZ with his brother Jeff, and girlfriend Lita. Eventually, Matt wins the WWE Championship. Matt begins to get a God complex - thinks he's too good to take photographs with fans, spits at fans, thinks he's superior to everyone.

But Matt Hardy begins to have a psychotic break and nervous breakdown after…

His fiancée (Lita) cheats on him with his best friend (Edge).

Fans think he’s an obsolete nostalgia act. He gets fired from the WWE for being too old.

He’s arrested for stealing Green Beans from the Supermarket.

Then he snaps, and becomes a “BROKEN” man.

Begin comedy:

Jeff Hardy's still having success in the WWE, but Matt sabotages his career, DELETES poor Brother Nero - by releasing their text message conversations to the public, where Jeff Hardy is overly critical of Vince McMahon in a comedic way. Jeff is now BROKEN as well.

WWE no longer wants to be associated with The Hardy BoyZ. They remove all mentions from them off the website.

Despite that, Matt Hardy has a lot of money from working with the WWE and lives in a spooky mansion, and BROTHER Nero lives with him too (insert House Hardy Halloween episode here).

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Matt decides to quit professional wrestling. And get a job at a supermarket (mocking "The Wrestler" movie with Mickey Rourke).

He works in the produce department – with 16-year-olds, he’s 45 years old (it's humiliating and degrading).

He hates his job, hates his life.

Then he has his psychotic break at work (becomes “COMPLETELY BROKEN” - his BROKENESS EVOLVES).

He starts saying crazy things to the customers like: “Mrs. Robinson, I see you’re here with your son Benjamin. Care to try our Alaskan caught green beans?”… the customers will leave the store disgusted.

He stops caring about the job (kind of like Office Space). Stares at the green beans all day long (fascinated by them), he’ll get in customers way.

BROTHER Nero won't even know why Matt's working there in the first place since he's a millionaire from his time with the WWE.

It takes way longer than it should… but ultimately he’s fired from the Supermarket. So he decides to get back into pro wrestling.

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Brother Nero. (will bring him to a psychiatrist for his CONDITION).

The first doctor will be a complete quack. Giving horrible advice, like: “medications are our futuristic dystopian societies way of controlling our minds.” Instead, he’ll suggest a natural cure of eating green beans. 

Matt will leave and say, “Brother Nero, I really like my doctor.”

“Green Beans… yeeeeeees!”

Brother Nero will be like… what the heck just happened?! (confused)

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Even after he’s fired, Matt Hardy keeps going back into the Supermarket he used to work at to admire the green beans. They’ll keep having to call security.

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At the next appointment, Brother Nero becomes angry, saying the green beans aren’t working to the psychiatrist.

Matt Hardy has a phobia soda, he can’t even look at a can of soda without freaking out. Matt begins shaking, sweating, and acting weird because the doctor has cola on the doctor's desk… The doctor notices this and says, THAT’S the problem. He says, “Matt need Shock Therapy… he needs to SHOCK his body by drinking soda.” (unaware that’s exposure therapy)

Matt will take a sip of soda acting like it’s the most difficult thing in the world. Needless to say, that won’t fix Matt.

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After a bad experience in therapy, Jeff no longer thinks there’s anything wrong with Matt. So they stop seeing the doctor. 

They decide to get back into pro wrestling, become the greatest tag team in space and time. Jeff acquires the CONDITION too. 

They go from Indy promotion to Indy promotion-winning Tag Team gold.

The promoters realize there is something seriously wrong with The Hardy BoyZ, but also realize they're huge stars, tremendously bigger than everyone else on their card - so they decide to book them anyway. 

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I want to have a Shower Scene.

Matt will be completely naked and will sing a song about deletion (his catch phrase, what he did to Brother Nero). Brother Nero will be in the bathroom WITH him, singing, and using the toilet. They'll be like teenagers.

He doesn’t have to look good, the singing doesn’t have to be good… It’s just to make people laugh, and say: “what the heck am I watching?”

I guarantee that’ll be the scene everyone remembers!

The “Broken” Matt Hardy gimmick makes everyone smile, because no matter how screwed up your life is, it’ll never be more screwed up than Broken Matt’s.

Broken Matt talking about “DELETING” Brother Nero is almost incestuous.

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All the Indy promoters will start to think The BROKEN Hardy's are weird. But they'll be making them A LOT of money. Like seeing a carnival freak show.

Behind the Hardy’s back, they’ll say: I have no idea what goes on in that family. But they're making us a lot of money - like a carnival freak show - so give them the title match. Haha.

(wanting to get publicity for their promotion)

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Similiar to training with “Jumping” Joe Frazier (the kangaroo).

Matt Hardy will tell Brother Nero he needs to aimlessly walk the streets of East New York (Brooklyn) by himself at 1 am… UNTIL the miracle happens.

Nero says, “but what if I die?”

Matt says, “but what if you fly?”

After an hour of walking, a middle-aged white guy will come up to Brother Nero (the complete opposite of who’d really be mugging him). The robber will say: “excuse me, sir! Please give me all your money” (in a nerdy white guy voice).

Nero refuses, so the robber pulls out a gun and opens fire. Fortunately, white guys have no aim. Nero dodges his shots matrix style. Then he climbs atop a dumpster and does the Swanton Bomb to the robber.

A bunch of African American kids wearing hoodies will applaud, thanking Jeff for stopping the “evil white man”.

Matt will teleport and say, “that was WONDERFUL!”

Matt will ask, “what did you learn Brother Nero?”

Like a robot, Nero says, “white males are ALWAYS to blame!”

Matt will say, “yeeeees, it’s a miracle!… We’re ready for our match.” And they’ll teleport to House Hardy.

This will probably be cut from the movie, and get me kicked off the project. But I stand behind my art. Haha!

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I think it would be funny if Jeff Hardy / BROTHER Nero is clearly gay and Matt's completely oblivious.

Matt will desperately want to find a Queen for House Hardy.

He’ll constantly ask Nero, “when are you going to get a lady friend too?”

When they meet a man on the street pretending to be a “Queen” – Nero will get all defensive, saying: there’s nothing wrong with this!

Matt will say, “you’re not a real Queen. yeeeees.” Completely clueless, he'll ask if he's going to Comic-Con

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So he and Brother Nero will wander into Burger King and will meet “Queen” Rebecca (a cashier). She’ll ask if they want a burger and fries. And Matt will be unaware it’s not a real kingdom and will beg the “queen” to marry him.

He’ll say: “the queen treating me to her fine cuisine, yeeeees”.

Rebecca will think he’s nuts but will accept Matt Hardy’s marriage proposal since he’s a huge wrestling star. He’s rich and famous, and she’s working at Burger King. Using him for his money. Lol.

Eventually, Rebecca will acquire the CONDITION too, and will no longer think Matt’s crazy. She’ll just think he’s motivated.

We can have a character who’s Brother Nero’s “special friend” (his boyfriend), but he likes Matt more.

Perhaps we can get Gregory Shane Helms or EC3 to play the role?

EC3 is a little too obsessed with Matt. And Matt’s oblivious – thinking Jeff's friend is WONDERFUL!

I’m basing this on Denny from “The Room” AND myself.

EC3 will passionately say questionable things like, “Matt, I just want to kiss you.” And Matt will cluelessly say, “if we all kissed each other the world would be a better place.” (Like Johnny from The Room)

Matt Hardy will HATE modern pop stars like Zayn Malik, Taylor Swift, and Justin Beiber. He’ll say: “What do they know about hard times?! They’ve never been in ladder matches at Wrestlemania.”

Instead, he wants to be Brian Wilson (from The Beach Boys).

Everyone will tell Matt, “you can’t get lamer than Brian Wilson. It's a 1960's surfing band and they weren't even cool in the 60's.”

But Matt relates to him and will say: “he’s a genius like me. Yeeeeees.”

Matt will like young and creative Brian Wilson, not the shell of his former self Brian Wilson.

They’ll catch Matt talking to himself, angrily saying: “I hate Mike Love, Mike Love is evil. He ruined Smile!” (Something that no one cares about in the year 2020).

Matt will try to get Brother Nero to rename The Hardy Boyz to “The Swell Boys”. With EC3 as a member, who Matt calls: “Al Jardine”.

Brother Nero will say, “No, we’re not calling ourselves The Swell Boys”.

___

Matt Hardy goes back to the supermarket to admire the green beans, Smiling, psychotically laughing, saying: “these green beans are WONDERFUL!” “yeeeeeeeees!” But a customer wants it for Thanksgiving Green Bean Casorle. The customer doesn't tell him to move. He just paces back and forth until he gets the hint, but Matt never does. 5 hours later, Matt has to use the restroom, the customer quickly grabs the green beans and runs. And the scene ends.

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After using the restroom, Matt comes back to produce, sees tomatoes and starts doing: “delete, delete, delete”… They must fade away and be classified as a fruit.

Then you’ll hear, “security to the produce section immediately”.

Matt will say to the officers, “Brother Nero and I were admiring your MARVELOUS green beans, when we discovered these tomatoes are classified incorrectly”

I’ll get tazed and thrown next to the dumpster outback.

There Matt and Jeff make a new friend named “Homeless Mike”, who claims to have teleportation powers too. WONDERFUL!

___

On the way home from the Supermarket, Matt gets pulled over by a police officer for driving under the speed limit. One look at Matt, the officer is convinced he's under the influence. Matt explains he's sober and just WOKE his mind. The officer apologizes and lets him go after he realizes Matt's doing nothing illegal - he's just crazy.

___

Ordinary life situations would make funny BROKEN segments.

Matt on a job interview.

Matt at a primary care physician.

___

The main villain is a serial killer - Senor Benjamin - that Matt hires to tend to the pig farm at the Hardy Compound. Senor Benjamin will say psychotic things, and Matt will be oblivious, lost in his own little world. Liking Benjamin's “philosophical lingo”.

Again, Jeff Hardy / Brother Nero will be a homosexual, but Matt Hardy can't grasp that.

Benjamin will bring sketchy women to House Hardy, they’ll keep disappearing, never to be seen again. The killer will say to Matt, “This is my lady friend”. Matt will say, “Yeeees! I remember those days. Brother Nero, you should get a lady friend too.” (completely clueless to everything).

The camera will show pigs eating in a creepy/comedic way.

Brother Nero will know this guy’s dangerous. But doesn’t know how to get him to leave House Hardy.

At the end of the movie, there’s a police investigation, media frenzy.

Stupidity leads to “Broken” Matt saving the day and taking down the serial killer who's been working at House Hardy - like Mr. Magoo.

Matt will be a national hero and the WWE will capitalize on all this media publicity, by hiring back The Hardy BoyZ, and giving them a WrestleMania match against Bray Wyatt and The Wyatt Family (Senor Benjamin-like character), and having the Hardy's win in the MAIN EVENT.

It's a bit like Borat, meets Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, meets Mr. Magoo, meets professional wrestling.

And they’ll play the Bruce Springsteen song “The Wrestler” in the credits.



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(UPDATE 01)
No offense to Matt Hardy but if this was turned into a big-budget Hollywood movie they should get real actors to play the roles. I can't think of anyone better than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson to play "Broken Matt", and possibly Dave Bautista for "Brother Nero" - with name changes.

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In the WWE, "Matt Hardy" (played by The Rock) can be called: "Marcus Cor Von", and "Jeff Hardy" (played by Batista): "Monty Cor Von." The Cor Von's are their WWE stage names.

In real life, their names are Mark Brown and Deon Brown - they're called The BROKEN Brown's on the Indy scene because WWE owns the Copywrite.

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We could make (Matt Hardy / Mark Brown) becoming BROKEN related to unprotected chair shots to the head, using the head as a wrestling weapon (headbutts), resulting in countless concussions.

However, that might be a bad idea for a comedy movie. Maybe it should be lighthearted.


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UPDATE (02 27 2020)
About Dwane "The Rock" Johnson playing BROKEN Matt Hardy in my movie. He might be too cool for the role. It needs to be an actor like "Mick Foley", who had negative life experiences and isn't afraid to humiliate and embarrass himself on camera. The Rock hasn't WOKEN his mind.



Better yet,

Prior to getting released from the WWE and becoming "BROKEN Matt / Dwane", The Rock can bully and think he's superior to and cooler than another pro wrestler like "Mick Foley". In the end, he'll learn "Foley" was the only one who wishes him well when he's sick.


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UPDATE (03 17 2020) - Dr. Phil:

When Matt Hardy's mental health starts to deteriorate, Jeff Hardy (his brother), contacts Dr. Phil (a daytime TV show psychologist/psychiatrist), because he heard he helped Oprah.

Obviously, Dr. Phil isn't interested in actually helping Matt Hardy with his psychiatric struggles. He wants to exploit him for an entertaining episode, for ratings and money.

Matt will come on the TV show as his sensational BROKEN Matt character. Comedic shenanigans will ensue. Then Dr. Phil can give some dumb advice.

Dr. Phil will diagnosis Matt with "reckless rockstar disorder." Notable examples of people with this condition are Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys, Jim Morrison of The Doors, and Kurt Cobain of Nirvana.

He doesn't recommend psychiatric medication, and DOESN'T suggest doing what rockstars do (alcohol for example). Dr. Phil suggests exercise and eating lots of fruits and vegetables. He personally loves to snack on green beans.

The only thing Matt Hardy got out of this session is green beans will quell his condition.