May 4, 2022:
Post 01:
I had a date tonight. We met at Starbucks. She was cute. I'm interested. I'm getting extreme self-consciousness that I presented like I'm "crazy." If she doesn't want to see me again, it's not a big deal. We'll see what happens. Either way, it was a night out of the house.
Post 02:
If she didn't like me don't feel bad. Whatever happens will happen. Get confidence, work on myself, and the right person will come along.
May 5, 2022:
About 2008, Joined Kirate After Getting Beat Up In High School (05 05 2022) video:
Post 01:
I should've called him by his real name, which is "Bobby", not used the pseudonym "Roger" because the first part, before the karate "Seinfeld-like story" isn't embellished or sensational. It's true. I made the creative choice and I have to live with it now. I'm not rerecording.
Post 02:
I wouldn't say I'm ripping off Seinfeld with the karate part of this story because it's very much something that happened to me that I'm embellishing. It's very much my own. But the show might have inspired this, was the spark that got me writing about a similar life experience.
About neck pain:
Post 03:
I came off Levothyroxine earlier this year. I have a lump in the thyroid area of my throat. I got a sonogram and they didn't see anything. But it feels like there's a tightness there, a pinching pain, and it can feel rapid like there's a heartbeat. I'm not sure what's wrong.
Post 04:
Something is wrong. I just don't know what it is. I assumed it was the thyroid, but maybe it's not the thyroid? Maybe it's the esophagus? I shouldn't have canceled the appointment with the PCP from a few weeks ago. It was a mistake.
Post 05:
Well, it's not thyroid cancer according to the sonogram. Could it be throat / esophagus cancer? A sign of an impending heart attack? No matter what's wrong, don't sit back and hope it goes away because it's not. Get it checked out at soon as possible.
Post 06:
God forbid my worst fears are confirmed, I have cancer, am sick and dying, and I wasted my life experiencing unimaginable pain and suffering. It wasn't my mother's fault, it wasn't friends or magical secret admirers' fault. It's sad, but the person who allowed this to go on is ME.
Post 07:
I thought the pain was the thyroid initially. It's in the middle of the throat. Adams apple area. Feels swollen. I have difficultly swallowing. It feels like there's a lump. Hard to talk and sing. I'm aware it's bad. I've just been neglecting to go to the doctor.
Post 08:
If you asked me, I'm like planning my funeral because of my throat pain. I'm aware something serious is wrong. But I haven't been diagnosed as having terminal cancer yet. So don't daydream that I'm sick and dying before doctors tell me that's it's a reality.
Post 09:
I am so strong that even if I was diagnosed with terminal cancer and told I had six months to live, I've been through so much hell, that I would just accept it. I'd be resigned to my fate of doom. It couldn't break me more than I've already been broken. It'd just be the end.
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