Post 01:
The sun can be pretty dangerous. I've exercised outdoors for years. Lately, I'm going to the gym to stay out of the sunlight. I'm probably screwed and damaged my skin. I hope I'm being a hypochondriac. I'm afraid of skin cancer. For years. I was outdoors all day long, every day.
Post 02:
Now I wear sunscreen when I walk outdoors, but there was a time I wasn't doing that. I was being self-destructive.
Stop crying, all evidence is I'm healthy
Post 03:
Right now my workout regimen is pretty basic. I just walk on the treadmill for an hour (which is healthy).
I look good. Though, I'm not eating healthy or enough. I blame my parents for neglecting me when it comes to buying my groceries, but they feed me dinner every night.
Post 04:
The reality is at 34-years-old you can't blame your elderly parents for starving you and "giving you cancer" by forcing you to eat garbage for years.
I should take control of my SNAP Foodstamps card. If I'm unhealthy still, blame limited money and my benefits, not my parents.
Post 05:
I was a hardcore runner from 2005 to 2011. It's all I did all day long. I was doing marathons daily. I was running 14-16 miles daily and often walking outdoors all day long as well (I'm not exaggerating). I think my running was more self-destructive and mental illness.
Post 06:
For the dangerous amount of exercise I was doing back then, I'm sure I wasn't eating healthy or enough.
I can blame my parents for neglect feeling there needed to be an intervention. The home environment had me in a state of constant panic. I didn't know what to do about it.
Post 07:
The psychiatric hospitalizations and medications in 2011 are what stopped my hardcore RUNNING. Though, outdoor walking all day long continued for years to come. The reason I stopped running is that the medications me fatigued and depressed. I wasn't as intense and driven.
Post 08:
Psychiatric medications suck. Sometimes the person getting medicated might not be the one who needs it. It might be they need more socialization and to be loved.
If you were socially isolated, running all day long, deprived of love, you'd have a psychotic break too.
Post 09:
So many psychiatrists aren't empathetic about the trauma, pain, and suffering that caused the Schizoaffective disorder. I believe my mental illness was environmental. A result of trauma. They hear the symptoms and just say "medicate." They're not interested in helping them heal.
Post 10:
For years, I was burying my feelings, talking to nobody, alone in my head. Then I went insane. Sometimes all somebody needs is to be empathized with, heard, and loved. I'm not at risk of ever being like I was in 2011 because I'm letting my feelings out now, not suppressing them.
Post 11:
Although I have Dr. Natural to talk to, some people say most of the time I'm letting my feelings out into a VOID on social media. You might make the argument that's unhealthy. It's a billion times more healthy for my mental health than ferociously running and talking to nobody.
Post 12:
My pain and suffering were unimaginable. It's hard to imagine a worse fate for an American who grew up in the suburbs. Yes, a lot of it was self-inflicted. But my parents aren't crying about how horrible my life turned out. Instead, they get peeved by me. Treat me like a burden.
Post 13:
I know Dr. Natural says my parents find my dependency at 34-years-old as burdensome, but they love me. My parents weren't INTENTIONALLY trying to torture me. I got sick from getting bullied in school, my life fell apart, and I went psychotic. My parents want the best for me.
Post 14:
The key difference between the bullies at school and my parents. The bullies INTENTIONALLY wanted to harm me. That's what bullies do. They get sadistic pleasure from suffering.
My parents, though far from perfect and neglectful, didn't want to hurt me. They love me.
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