March 14, 2022:
Post 01:
So basically The Riddler was an over-the-top Brian Wilson.
Post 02:
Something's wrong and I can't put my finger on what it is. Maybe it's an anxiety attack and I'm imagining having a heart attack. But I'm really worked up and there's no reason I should have this much energy. All I'm having is one cup of coffee in the morning and on much less meds.
Post 03:
Aside from a very small dose of prescription psychiatric medication and an ordinary cup of coffee like most people drink (natural), I feel unhealthy and energized. I feel intense, driven, ready to make myself successful. My psychopharmacologist would likely call this "mania."
March 15, 2022:
Post 01:
I was sitting on my car seat with my gym clothes then when I got home I reached onto the car seat to grab change the fell out of my pocket and a pebble that was on the seat got under my nail for a few seconds. This is no contamination risk, right? Kiss it up to God.
Post 02:
I clipped my fingernails and toenails because they were getting too long. Since I used to bite my nails, I'm new to the fingernail clipping routine. I'm still not very good at it. I accidentally clipped one of my fingernails too short. It might be like an open cut. Don't worry!
Post 03:
Somebody end this hostile dependency adult-child at 34-years-old living at home with my parents nightmare RIGHT THIS SECOND. I can't take this anymore. I need friends, girlfriend, independence, freedom. I should not be allowed to waste any more of my life. Too much lost time.
March 16, 2022:
Post 01:
I really want a girlfriend.
Post 02:
I want to message somebody on a text messaging app, but I sent the last four messages. It's not my turn to text.
Post 03:
When I was working out, there was this middle-aged woman on the treadmill next to me. She didn't look like she'd have HIV, but you never know. Because of the fan a strand of her long hair got into my mouth. I'm trying not to worry about contamination and kiss it up to God.
Post 04:
After I was finished at the gym, I used the spray cleaner to sanitize my treadmill. Everybody touches the spray cleaner with their sweaty hands. I left the gym and didn't wash my hands. Then on the car ride home I rubbed my eyes with the contaminated hand without thinking.
Post 05:
Towards the end of my workout, this young guy got on the treadmill next to me. I think his sweat got on me. Though it could have been droplets of my sweat. Again, soup of the day. Broken record. Contamination fears. Kiss it up to God and have a relaxing night without worrying.
Post 06:
I disagree that the OCD has gotten worse. Maybe I'm verbalizing it more. But I think the OCD has actually improved since 2020 and 2021. I'm kissing my contamination fears up to God, relaxing, and letting it go much more easily.
Post 07:
Socialization is the key to recovery. I need to get out, meet friends, a girlfriend, get a life, financially independent. Maybe if I start doing all of this, I'll leave the contamination fears in the past forever. When people are busy they usually don't worry about contamination.
No comments:
Post a Comment