March 28, 2022:
Post 01:
My mother at the supermarket today was without a doubt bullying me while I had to remain passive. Then I started to get peeved at her. She starts gaslighting me saying things like "U seemed off." Acting like it's all me. She was trying to rile me up and I have to internalize it.
Post 02:
God forbid I brought to my mom's attention how she was mistreating me, bullying me, sadistically torturing me today. Somehow I would get blamed and she would scream at me. So I just say "Sorry. I was wrong." Then I post the truth on social media. Right now she's gaslighting me.
Post 03:
I wish my mother would leave me alone and stop bullying me because I'm getting worked up and I can't escape it. She's INTENTIONALLY trying to incite me. I'm completely passive. Then she gaslights me and makes me think I'm crazy. I need to just distance myself from her.
Post 04:
I bought these disposable plastic cups from the supermarket today. There was a tiny rip in the plastic bag. It might have even been from me or my mom picking it up. But the bag isn't sealed 100%. Would you worry? Or kiss it up to God and use the cups? I'm afraid of contamination.
March 29, 2022:
Post 01:
My health wasn't being taken care of, by both me and my support system. I'm afraid I developed cancer or something life-threatening from the years of hell I lived through. I'm afraid I'm sick and dying. My entire life was pain and suffering, time is running out, soon DEATH!
Post 02:
I'm getting excruciating headaches every single day from stress and frustration. My thyroid hurts. My throat hurts. My stomach hurts. I was in the sunlight constantly. I was taking a "mega regimen" (keyword) of psychiatric medication for a decade. I'm afraid I'm about to die.
Post 03:
I feel like I never had any real pleasure or fun. My entire life felt like unimaginable torture, a nightmare you can't even comprehend. My life couldn't have turned out worse. The icing on the care - the years of hell killed me just when I'm about to become successful and happy.
Post 04:
I need to remind myself I'm being a hypocandric. There's no evidence that I'm sick and dying. All evidence is I'm healthy. For all intents and purposes, I should have a long healthy life ahead of me. I'll look back on this nightmare and realize I came a long way, overcame a lot.
Post 05:
I have a tiny cut on my hand. I think it's starting to scab over, but it was bleeding before the coffee shop this morning. I'm about to work out at the gym. I tried putting a bandage over it, but my sweaty hands made the bandage fall off. I'm not going to worry and I'll workout.
Post 06:
I'm getting OCD contamination fears. I'm worried HIV at the gym is going to get into the tiny cut. Dr. Natural told me I have a misunderstanding of how you get infected with HIV. It's blood transfusions, sharing hypodermic needles, and unprotected sex. I'm doing none of that.
Post 07:
Because I'm doing nothing high risk, for all intents and purposes, I will likely never get HIV. If HIV was a pandemic as contagious as COVID-19, as contagious as I think, everybody would be talking about it. It would be all over the news. The reality is it's hard to get HIV.
Post 08:
My delusions correlate with emotion. For example, if my mom is in a bad mood and she peeves me, sometimes tricks my mind and triggers "life and death" trauma. So I think my mom is SATAN, evil, a torturer (delusional). When it's really shades of grey. She's simply in a bad mood.
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