Do you think my parents INTENTIONALLY sadistically tortured me? If so, on a scale from one to ten, how badly do you think it was? 1 being normal happy childhood. 10 being holocaust Nazi Germany.
Or do my parents love me? Anything they did wasn't intentionally inflicted. The sadistic monsters who INTENTIONALLY tortured me were the bullies in middle and high school. They 100% got pleasure from my suffering. They enjoyed terrifying me. That's a fact.
My parents are a frustraton daydream. They're not sadistic torturers.
When I get angry I feel like my parents 10 tortured me (made me live through the "Holocaust"). My delusions correlate with emotion.
My doctor asked: why don't you feel any empathy once the delusions pass? Surely I should feel guilty about calling my mom and dad Hitler. Maybe the reason I don't feel empathy is because there's truth to it. What do you think?
Would you feel bad for Hitler if you were in a prison in Nazi Germany?
I feel like although I say "my parents aren't sadistic torturers" so I don't get medicated, or hospitalized... Down deep, I feel as though they are, and know they are. It's just years of gaslighting. I have to blind myself to the truth because I'm financially dependent on them. A disabled adult child who is being prevented from flying. It really is hell on Earth. Kind of like the Holocaust.
The loving parent image they present in public, in front of doctors, to everyone important is a facade. The truth is they get pleasure from my suffering. They've intentionally made me live through the Holocaust my whole life and pretend like they don't.
Somebody HELP ME!!!!
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