Mother is a torturer

I'm coming to the realization my mother really is a sadistic torturer. Saying it's "delusional" is her gaslighting. She screams at me to inflict anxiety, treats me like a worthless child, and I say nothing. She makes me so terrified of the world I don't even know how to function.

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Dr Natural said:

"Andrew

Will you never tire of your "my mother is Hitler" theory of life?  

Your anxiety relating to the comedy competition is real life honestly come by anxiety that has nothing to do with your mother."

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My Reply:

I blame my real world anxiety on my mother, thinking she intentionally inflicted my mental illness, sabotaging my life through torture. This might be "delusional." I'm anxious in the real world and have no social skills. So I isolate and am solitary. 

When my mom is high energy and yells at me then I become angry. I feel like a dependent adult child, can't assert myself, so I throw temper tantrums on social media. Everybody can irritate each other, especially on hot days.

Yes, I needed an intervention and my mom was neglectful. I wasted my best years sick. Remember that my family loves me, my mother is NOT Freddy Krueger. I could have it much worse, could be homeless.

Don't let one bad real world experience make me hide from the world, even the best comedians have bad nights occasionally. Though, the problem was my social skills "backstage", not the performance itself. The performance was good. 

At the psychosocial clubhouse I'm too high functioning. Around "normal" people I'm a mentally ill freak. I don't relate to anybody or anything.