Bullying Posts (02 26 2021)

Post 01:

At Starbucks, I noticed my cup was filled with Nitro Cold Brew then poured out then when I arrived they refilled it (probably for freshness). This triggered me that I was being poisoned by the baristas. It's fear of bullies and contamination. They don't care that much about me.

Post 02:

I'm hyper focused on bullies contaminating me. After receiving my coffee then leaving Starbucks, a barista walked out of the bathroom and said, "hi Andrew." He's a friendly kid who probably likes me and doesn't want to lose his job. I start to fear he's a psychopath poisoning me.

Post 03:

Everywhere I go I have an overwhelming, catastrophizing fear of bullies harming me. It's so intense that I don't want to leave the house. I'm going into New York City today for fun and almost feel like canceling and staying home. I fear I'm going to be targeted by criminals.

Post 04:

I have a sadistic monster bully persecutor ingrained in my mind. It's the kids from middle and high school. Yes, you can encounter bad people in the world. But I learned the world was much more scary and chaotic than it actually is. Most people are nice and the world can be fun.

Post 05:

Even my fear of hypodermic needles left by drug users contaminating me with HIV then I'll have no friends for the rest of my life. It boils down to fear of the sadistic monster persecutors from middle and high school bullying me. Think about it... it's the monster harming me.

Post 06:

As frustrating as my parents can be (including my stepdad), and they were frustrating... They're not the monsters who took sadistic pleasure in my suffering. Yes, it was hell being home ALL DAY LONG with them, they were miserable, but they weren't intentionally trying to harm me.

Post 07:

It's obvious my fear of the world (which was intentionally inflicted by bullies), led to social isolation and a daydream world (mental illness). Even if you want to blame genetics, there's no doubt I was injured by bullies, it's like walking with a limp after injuring your leg.

Post 08:

If you really think about it, my mother is NOT to blame. She had a son who became very sick because he was getting severely bullied in school and she did the best she could all things considered. She's not perfect, but she loves and wants the best for me. 

Dr Natural said in reply:

"Andrew

This is an excellent post!   Clear, articulate, moving, true.  Frame this one.  Keep it for the "permanent collection."   Hold on to what you have written here and try not to backslide into the "mother is Satan/Hitler" daydream.  The bullies are the ones who INTENDED to hurt you."