Post 01:
A barista handed me a napkin with my coffee today. I went out of my way to avoid grabbing the napkin, she went out of her way to hand it to me. I immediately threw it away due to contamination fears. The more I think about it, could someone's phone number have been on there?
A reply to Post 01:
You're right. I overreacted, then overthought. Nothing happened besides my imagination running wild.
Post 02:
If you're a good person... I want you to feel good. I want the best for you. I don't want people to experience pain and sadnesses. Sometimes the correct decision isn't always clear-cut. I want to make the right choice with everyone happy. Only the future knows for sure.
Post 03:
I have a friend, when I'm with her there's no place I'd rather be and no one I'd rather be with. Often there were substitute fair-weather friends, but she's the real deal. It's real love. I appreciate her friendship more than words can express.
Post 04:
I'm crying thinking about the good times in the past. I guess it's been a hard year. As we saw with covid-19, the good times can end in an instant. Appreciate friendship and happiness because life is fleeting. The good times are just starting, not ending.
Post 05:
I need to remind myself these are good times. The happy times are just beginning. Hopefully the sun will be shining for years to come.
Post 06:
I experienced so much sadness then I met a loving friend who I adore. It feels too good to be true.
Post 07:
Eric Bischoff said AEW is like an art studio putting on a wrestling show while WWE is a cold, lifeless, corporate show. I agree. Even though AEW seems like it's made by college kids, at least it has heart and soul. WWE leaves me feeling cold and empty. But WWE has better talent.
Post 08:
Often I make a post and I daydream important people are reading it, that I'm a genius and my words are highly important. I need to remind myself it's a delusion of grandeur. The truth is very few people are reading my posts and a major art company isn't getting ready to hire me.
Post 09:
My biggest delusion at the moment is an undercover secret admirer and major motion picture company is watching me on the sly and when the time is right we're going to make an epic movie. There's no evidence to support this besides my imagination. It's a delusional daydream.
Post 10:
Life is wonderful when you have a good friend. For a long time, I had no friendship and my source of self-esteem was a delusional daydream world where celebrities knew me. It's hard accepting that it was all in my head. There's no truth to it. Thankfully I have a real friend now.
Post 11:
In the book "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden" by, Joanne Greenberg, her doctor tells her your Fantasyland wasn't real. It was all in your head. For me, it's hard accepting it was all a daydream. But it was. There's no truth to it. Now I have real friendship in the real world.
Post 12:
I feel guilty about the bad experience where I stepped on debris on New Year's 2020 at the lounge in NYC because my experiences there were pleasant, a lot of fun in a cozy relaxed environment.
The overreaction was fueled by mental illness and fear of bullies. It's very sad.
Post 13:
Something that comforts me is vilifying my parents, and I'm especially mean to my mother. She's not perfect, but she loves me. Yes, she was overprotective and babying. But the sadistic monsters who made me phobic of the world were the bullies in middle and high school.
Post 14:
I slightly reduced the Invega with my psychopharmacologist's approval. I'm feeling intense emotion, not sleeping as much, am having dreams. I was sobbing yesterday thinking about friends, family, and fun times, how much I appreciate them... and I mean I was uncontrollably CRYING.
Post 15:
New York City isn't safe, but I want to resume the pre-COVID-19 fun again. Do you think it's safe to go to a restaurant then walk Central Park mid-day on a Friday? I'm planning to take a train into Penn Station tomorrow. Or, is this premature and wait until things get better?
Post 16:
Dr. Natural said: "It seems you are really, maybe, beginning to believe that real friends are preferable to celebrity daydreams that never actually materialize." I'd also daydream women from my past loved me. They didn't. Now I have a tangible real-life friend, it's no daydream.
Post 17:
Dr. Natural said: "Your mother is a real person who has done a great deal in your behalf. What your mother has done (provided a place to live, managed your doctors, etc.)" is tremendous, while your daydream secret admirers have done nothing because they're not real.
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