Some Posts (02 22 2021)

Post 01:

I'm often asked: why don't other people appear on your YouTube channel? (Besides your mother and father)

Believe it or not, most people don't like to appear on video. Even my mom and dad don't like it.

I guess I'm a rare exception because I love being on camera and I shine.

Post 02:

My mother's birthday is coming up very soon (February 24th). She says the only gift she wants from me is love and kindness. I've been so miserable and angry lately. She wants the happy Andrew back, with the bright smile and sparkle in his eye... I'll probably make her artwork

Post 03:

My trauma kept evolving. In middle and high school, I was severely bullied. When I entered college, I went crazy and had six psychiatric hospitalizations. In my twenties, I was home all day long with an elderly couple - no friends. Then covid-19. I feel so defective and damaged.

Post 04:

Everywhere I go I feel like I'm wearing The Freak Scarlet Letter, like everyone is looking at me in a critical way, is disturbed by me. I have no social skills, am comatose with anxiety, feel like I'm walking on eggshells. It's just easier to hide from the world at home.

Post 05:

All my posts are negative self-pity, but people don't seem to like that. One of my highest liked posts was a loving post about my friends from the psychosocial clubhouse. That's a needle in the haystack. Maybe positive thinking and appreciation is the approach I should take.

Post 06:

I'm working on a mental health-related book that uses my artwork to illustrate concepts in a child-like fun way. I've just been lazy with it. I start, then put it on the back burner. If it's going to get made I have to do the hard work. Nobody will make it for me.

Post 07:

I'm the king of the jungle. So why did I lose sight of this? Why did I start to think I'm worthless? Rather than blame certain people and seek vengeance, I need to remember who I am. I won't be denied. I'll prove the doubters and critical ones wrong. The best revenge is success.

Post 08:

My biggest mistake was expecting parents to create me a good life for me. I don't need to be financially dependent or be controlled. I'm the king of the jungle. I need nobody besides myself. By obeying my mom's every golden rule I'm wasting my life. I know the path to success.

Post 09:

I have a hostile dependency on my mother. She blames me for being the bane of her existence, I blame her for depriving me of my life. It's constant fighting between us, we are beginning to resent each other. The solution is getting a social life and financial independence.