July 21, 2022:
Post 01:
In the bathroom at the gym, I touched the soap dispenser immediately after a guy touched it. I got his wetness and soap on my hands. Most likely it was just soap, water, or sweat. None of those will contaminate you with anything life-changing.
Post 02:
At the gym, when I was working out on the treadmill, my phone slipped from my hands and fell on the ground behind me. I had to stop my workout and pick up my phone from the ground everybody walks with their dirty shoes. Gross, but no contamination risk.
Post 03:
At the gym tonight, dust was coming off the ceiling fan, and it landed on my treadmill. It's a little unpleasant. But it's not a contamination risk.
Post 04:
Being in a toxic environment can make you severely mentally ill if it goes on for too long. If you didn't have depression beforehand, being surrounded by toxic people may lead to you becoming depressed. Talk nicely to people and they'll be happy. Talk mean and they'll be sad.
July 22, 2022:
Post 01:
About the Eosinophilic Esophagitis, I'm starting to wonder what is the allergic reaction that's causing it... Then I start to catastrophize my "delusions" weren't complete fantasy. Maybe my mom is murdering me by poisoning my food. DELUSIONAL! All evidence is that she loves me.
Post 02:
Even if my mom is not literally putting bleach in my dinners... Still, by forcing me to take a mega regimen of psychiatric medications for ten years. Could they have caused the Eosinophilic Esophagitis? My pharmacologist said about EoE, "It's not a condition I am an expert in".
Post 03:
Eosinophilic Esophagitis is a relatively new condition that my psychopharmacologist isn't an expert in. I took these unnatural medications, almost against my will, and he basically says he doesn't know and talk to gastrologist. I don't want to be a lab rat who gets a new disease.
Post 04:
I need to realize I'm getting delusional about my mother. If she was truly putting on a facade and wanted to give me the worst life imaginable... She'd kick me on the street and make me homeless... Not feed me dinner, provide me with an apartment, cell phone, and the internet.
Post 05:
Sometimes I can get rapid delusional mood swings about friends and family. In my mind, they can go from a loved one, to SATAN, an evil sadistic deceiver. This hurts my ability to have meaningful relationships. The key is to fully trust my loved ones and realize they love me.
Post 06:
These rapid delusional mood swings about loved ones usually correlates with emotion. If I'm having fun, in a good mood, the negative delusions usually don't come out. If they frighten me, upset me, anger me, or if I'm in a bad mood, that's when my mind goes haywire at times.
Post 07:
The truth is usually a shades of grey issue. Although my loved ones aren't perfect, they also aren't the evilest of evil SATAN. The truth is somewhere in between. When they upset me and the delusional mood swings creep in don't lose sight of this.
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