November 12, 2021:
Post 01:
My mother picks on me intentionally, abuses my while I'm passive, it's like a game to her, to get me riled up. Then she pretends she's not bullying me, blames me for everything. Aside from her, I'm making such progress in my life. It's best to avoid her at all costs.
Post 02:
My mother has confessed she's a control freak. Likes to control my life. Why would she want the worst for me? Why doesn't she let me fly free? Why does she want me prisoner, to control, and abuse? She's not happy about my progress, doesn't want me successful. It's crazy.
November 13, 2021:
Post 01:
I don't think anybody truly wants to be crucified then "die." I want success and to create a Hollywood movie, but there's a side to my personality that's masochistic. I hate my life so much and want to be destroyed. Shhhh. Don't tell anyone. They'll suspend me on social media.
Post 02:
I hate when rich people shame and virtue signal people who didn't have their privileged upbringing. They act like they have words of wisdom. If they were born to the parents of poor people, they might have a doomed existence, and wouldn't be so pretentious and act superior.
Post 03:
It's easy to laugh at, shame, and villainize people living in poverty who act out. Oftentimes, they make poor decisions because of their traumatic life.
Then there are the children of wealth and privilege. The rich rarely suffer, shame and virtue signal their bad decisions.
Post 04:
Although I often get the delusion a millionaire is my biological father. It's like a Cinderella story, getting saved from my nightmare of a life. This would've never happened if I was truly the son of Vince McMahon or Billy Joel. I probably wouldn't have even become mentally ill.
Post 05:
The wealthy probably look down on me, think they're superior, but they are disgusting phonies. I would rather be trash, filth, a low class, wildman rockstar. At least that's real, relatable, likable. Who genuinely likes somebody who's pretentious and thinks they're superior?
Post 06:
I ate a dessert in New York City without sanitizing my hands. So my hands were contaminated from subway, train, shaking hands, all over NYC. I said, whatever, then ate the sweet with gross hands. Is this a contamination risk?
Post 07:
Like grandma and grandpa used to say with their great depression mentality, if you drop something on the ground, kiss it up to God, then eat the gross food. Yes, my hands were gross from the city, kiss the sweet up to God, don't worry, and eat it.
Post 08:
I stepped on this gigantic napkin-like object in the train where everybody walks. Let it go. It didn't go through my shoe. I'm ok.
Post 09:
I met somebody new in the mental health community today. I was daydreaming it was Seth Rollins from the WWE, but also didn't think it was Seth Rollins. It's called double bookkeeping.
If I did meet Seth Rollins, he wouldn't be undercover, he'd introduce himself as SETH ROLLINS!
Post 10:
I'm starting to sell and give away my artwork to people who want it. I wanted to hold onto it to get it published in a book or art gallery, but I must let go of my work. Let them fly freely all over the place.
Post 11:
I made it home safely from New York City, but when I got home it was cold and windy. I disinfected my shoes with Lysol outdoors and leaned down to do it. The wind blew the Lysol that touched the shoes into my eye. Could Lysol mix with shoes from NYC give you HIV or contamination?
Post 12:
I have a real problem with contamination fears. When I'm anxious and out in public, it feels like I'm extremely vulnerable to HIV contamination. It boils down to feeling extremely unsafe. Sometimes it's even placed by bully. I'm afraid HIV would mean having no friends forever.
Post 13:
I want to relax. Get independent from my parents financially. Settle down with my soulmate woman. Stop going into dangerous neighborhoods. No contamination risks. No danger from bullies. Just calm, safe and sound, peaceful. I feel so chaotic and unsafe - in mental hell. Help!
Post 14:
My fear of the real world made me hide at home, pouring my life down the drain. I don't think people realize how much time I wasted, solitary, distanced from the world, in a fantasyland. Thanks to people in the mental health community, I'm making progress living in the real world.
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