No New Year's Eve Plans

I have no plans for new years eve... For all intents and purposes, I'll be celebrating the holiday alone.

I canceled on my mental health friends because they want to go to a lounge in New York City, it's a lot of money, I don't drink, I'll be commuting alone, I'll be headed home around 1 am, the city is dangerous. SO I'M NOT GOING!

I asked The Swell BoyZ (my childhood male friends) if they want to do something, but they said "no." They're fair-weather friends. They're probably doing something better. It's sad my social life revolved around such bad friends for so many years.

I tried reaching out to "ex-girlfriends" and women I socialized with in the past. They all indicated they're not interested.

The psychosocial clubhouse is closed because of COVID-19 Omicron Variant. 

At this moment, there's no opportunity for socialization with peers this new year. That's why I'm reaching out to MY PARENTS. So I don't celebrate the day alone in solitary confinement.

I guess we could watch the ball drop on TV and get a pizza.

My mother is screaming at me to make plans with my father, to force him to do something with me. She also made valid points about it being dangerous on the road and COVID-19 contamination. So she's not going to interact with me.

My dad said over the phone this morning he doesn't like new years, is not celebrating it, and is going to bed early. 

I would like to do something on the day, not be solitary. 

My mother is yelling at me to force myself over my dad's house, which I haven't been to since December 24, 2019. Before that, I only went very infrequently on holidays. But I don't want to go to Dad's. But my mom is screaming at me to force myself over his house.

It's my responsibility to meet friends, get a life, etc... And not depend on my parents for my holiday happiness.

I WANT TO BE IN LOVE WITH A SOULMATE WOMAN! Not get screamed at by unempathetic parents who want nothing to do with me, who put me in the middle of their fight with each other.

But as of this moment, my social life revolves around my parents.

Sadly, this year, most likely I'll be celebrating the day alone. Maybe solitude and early to bed is better than going out anyway.

It sucks I'm financially dependent on my mother at 34-years-old.