Post 01:
I constantly cry how I poured most of my life down the drain... But in so many ways, 2021 was the most successful year of my lifetime. I made new friends, successfully performed stand-up comedy many times, sold artwork at an art gallery. Hopefully, in 2022 the success continues!
Post 02:
My mother said: "We make our success if you go after it then it most definitely will. If uou stay still then nothing will happen.. you have the knowledge, talent don t waste time. Seize the day....."
Post 03:
I need to keep pushing for my success. Not sit back and watch life pass me by. 2021 was a great year for me because of the action I took in the real world. I took a lot of action online with social media artwork too. But most satisfaction comes from socialization in the real life.
Post 04:
Unless my father is a psychopath who enjoys messing with the mind of his schizoaffective son, I'm certain he confirmed that something significant happened on New Year's in my childhood. The people I suspected were involved, the day, he was telling me wasn't delusional.
Post 05:
My father is a psychopath who took pleasure in harming me as sadistically as a serial killer. And there's not a thing I can do about it because I look severely mentally ill, uncredible, and delusional. While my torturers look lucid and have families.
Post 06:
My mother puts on the facade that she doesn't realize my father was torturing me, but she's wearing a mask. Behind her mask, she knows exactly what my father did. Then she gaslights and brainwashes me into thinking the torture didn't happen. Her family is involved too.
Post 07:
My father doesn't come right out and say what happened, he talks in metaphors, talks in double-meanings. He says it without saying it. Today, I have no doubt he was telling me a lot of what I was saying in 2011, that got me diagnosed, significantly medicated - wasn't delusional.
Post 08:
The people who should've been protecting me were really my sadistic persecutors. My parents got pleasure from harming me, while acting like they weren't doing anything nefarious, convincing everybody that I am the crazy one.
Post 09:
Don't daydream and embellish what's happening here. There's no denying my parents are disappointing, unloving, and don't hear me when I speak... But that doesn't mean they INTENTIONALLY tortured me. Maybe they were just incapable and did the best they could.
Post 10:
I didn't take the Latuda last night yet again. So I am being non-compliant with my psychopharmacologists treatment. He thinks stopping the antipsychotic is going to have a negative result. Do you think I should start taking it again?
Post 11:
People are telling me my posts are delusional and to take my medication as prescribed. It feels real, but it's not real. It's really unfortunate because so many adverse side effects were getting better and I was hoping to be medication free, completely off everything, very soon.
Post 12:
I did tell my psychopharmacologist that I was going to stop taking the Latuda, he said take it every other day instead of just stopping it entirely, but didn't think it's a good idea. He knows I was doing it.
I'll take my meds as prescribed and take Latuda 20 mg every day again.
Post 13:
People are telling me I'm getting close to a setback. So I'm going to resume my medication as prescribed. My psychopharmacologist thought eliminating the Latuda 20 mg was a bad idea and it seems like he was right. I guess the meds are more effective than I realized.
Post 14:
The criminal abuse delusions are like metaphors. It's anger at my father and parents. I want them to empathize with me, hear me, and love me. It feels like they did the worst things imaginable to me. The emotion is true. It feels true. But it's like a metaphor.
Post 15:
I get the delusion my father seeing me is one big long con joke to him. Somebody powerful is my real biological father. My father tortured me in my childhood. He's creating a facade. Preparing for a supreme court case. This is so far-fetched.
Post 16:
Robert is most likely is my biological father, not a criminal mastermind. Somebody suggested that I ask him to take a paternity test to put an end to these delusions once and for all. I don't think he'd ever agree to do it, though.
Post 17:
No delusion. The following is not embellished. He did indicate he doesn't care what I do in a cruel way. Implying he doesn't care about me. When I was overexercising (from 2005 - 2011), if I died, it really wouldn't have affected him. This angered me.
Post 18:
My father doesn't need to see me as an adult man. I get delusions it's a long con, he's creating a facade, preparing for a supreme court case, to sabotage me. The truth is he's seeing me because he loves me. There's no crime cover-up.
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