November 30, 2021:
Post 01:
I'm OFFICIALLY 100% single.
So ladies, try not to all message me at once. Lol.
Post 02:
About selling my artwork, my mother told me I'd lose SNAP food stamps if I claimed that $480 in art sales. She doesn't want me doing that until I get a more consistent income. It would be a shame to throw that art money in the trash, though. It's half my monthly disability.
December 1, 2021:
Post 01:
My hands are badly chapped and irritated from washing them too much. They're like an open cut. Tonight I'm going to touch a microphone that everybody uses during comedy. It's a beginner show, there's lots of performers, and I'm probably not first. Is this a contamination risk?
December 2, 2021:
Post 01:
I like to believe I'm a catch and I won't be single very long. But I'm coming to a realization, my relationship with my BFF was special. She understands my complex mind, isn't judgemental, is accepting of my Fantasyland. Meeting somebody PERFECT like her might be impossible.
Post 02:
The decision to end the relationship was my BFF's. I might want to date again, but she doesn't want to. That's okay, though. I had the most fun of my life with her, made lots of priceless memories, and will love her forever even if we don't wind up together forever.
Post 03:
I'm really struggling with hand washing. I keep washing and washing my hands after every little possible contaminant. My hands are getting raw, chapped, cracked, irritated. Now I'm afraid they're like an open cut and I'm getting contaminated from open wounds. It's ironic I guess.
Post 04:
I discovered from washing my hands too much, I now have a cuts on my hands. I was shaking lots of hands and touching the microphone last night at comedy, earlier I was at the mall, now I'm going to the gym. I'm worried about CONTAMINATION getting into my open cut ruining my life.
Post 05:
Let the cut on my hand CONTAMINATION FEARS go and relax. For years I was biting my nails and nothing happened. Plus they're people who work at hospitals, may have a cut but still have to go to work and they don't call out sick. Someone would have to bleed HIV right into my wound.
Post 06:
I feel trapped in a nightmare. No socialization with the same day repeating again, and again, with no light at the end of the tunnel. I'm getting crazier and more desperate with each passing day. Somebody please save me from this hell. They say I have to "save myself."
Post 07:
Socialization is important and the key to recovery. I can't take SOLITARY CONFINEMENT anymore. It's the story of my life and I no longer want it to be. I want friends, a girlfriend, independence, a life. I don't want to pour my life down the drain. HELP ME!!!!!!
December 3, 2021:
Post 01:
My psychiatrists likely underestimate what I nice guy I am, they think when I become successful because the suffering I lived through was unimaginable horror, that I'll be bitter, cold, and unkind. The reality is I'm a little bunny with a heart of gold - my smile isn't destroyed.
Post 02:
I often daydream I'm going to wind up like Elvis Presley or The Beatles. That this will be like a feel-good Hollywood movie, I'll be a rock star, I'll meet my soulmate, and we'll live happily ever after. The truth is this might be THE TITANIC and disaster is going to happen.
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