August 9, 2022:
Post 01:
I can't wait until I finally get power over my father. I want revenge on that psychopath so badly.
Post 02:
Since everyone is pushing for me to increase my psychiatric medications, maybe I'll come off everything instead. They want to medicate me into submission. They want me passive and powerless so they can abuse me. Most of what there were medicating was their gaslighting narrative.
Post 03:
How did I get so good at being on video? I practiced every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, for years. I don't think anybody has practiced and trained as much and as hard as I did. Nobody is on my level. And it's because of hard work from doing it every day.
August 10, 2022:
Post 01:
I know it's "first world problems" complaining about my mother's cooking. Even though her dinners are torturously bland and disgusting, worse than the food I ate in the psych hospital - I call her cooking "prison food." I'm 35 years old. If I don't like it - get dinner myself.
Post 02:
Because my mother's cooking has been so bad, worse than "prison food". Lately, it's like all I've been eating is pizzeria pizza, Chinese food, and fast food. If I become a millionaire movie star, I'll eat well. I'll never eat this cheap, disgusting, fast food trash ever again.
Post 03:
Even if my mother is not literally poisoning my dinners with something that'll kill me, she's certainly not cooking with love. I joked slop on top of noodles is like "dog food" (which upset her). Then she creates that facade narrative to my psychiatrist that I'm living the dream.
Post 04:
My mother said to my psychiatrist: "how dare you call my dinners prison food! I feed you organic chicken. Healthy dinners." First off, that's rare, and when she does it's unseasoned and bland. The food tasted better and was more eatable when I was in the psychiatric hospital.
Post 05:
I'm not really sure what to do for dinner anymore. It's like I get pizzeria food every day. The rabeprazole was causing bad diarrhea and stomach pain, but since taking it, the acid reflux has gotten better. Now I stopped because it was making me sick the EoE is horrible again.
Post 06:
It's like I can't win with this EoE. If I take it, I feel sick. Get bad diarrhea, and stomach pain, and it can cause heart problems. If I don't take it, the acid reflux and heartburn become horrible again. I'm not sure why this EoE is happening. Could it be a food allergy?
Post 07:
I wonder if some of the medications I'm taking - or have taken - have caused the EoE? Because I don't remember being like this many years ago, prior to being on the mega regimen of psychiatric medications and everything else. Maybe some medication caused my EoE? Who knows?
Post 08:
Some people liked my performance of Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff" today. I'm the next Fred Durst. I'm bringing back attitude nu metal to the U.S.A.'s pop culture. Today's video was more raw, intense, and angry than my previous take of it. It really pays tribute to nu metal.
Post 09:
Maybe I'll do Limp Bizkit "Nookie" next. But I got to memorize the lyrics more. I love how sarcastic and tongue-in-cheek they are. The guy is intentionally behaving like the biggest tool in the world to annoy you. Some people love it, some people hate it - ruffles their feathers.
Post 10:
I remember when I was in middle school I was embarrassed to admit to my dad that I bought a Limp Bizkit CD, was a fan of their music because he was shaming us for liking the band. I told him it was another family member's album, but the truth is it was really my purchase.
Post 11:
In comparison to John Lennon's delusional "imagine no possessions", a man of peace message... At least "Break Stuff" isn't smug, elitist, delusional, and pretentious. Wheater you agree with you're making me angry and I want to get violent, at least it's a REALISTIC message.
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