Birthday

I'm in such pain. I'm not sure what I imagined would happen on my birthday. Maybe I was expecting a miracle, someone saying: "I've been secretly watching you for years, now we're going to make the epic movie." I'd become rich and famous. It'd be a grandiose celebration.

But no undercover celebrity cares.

I'm coming to the realization besides my family and a few friends from the psychosocial clubhouse, nobody else cares... even childhood friends forgot. I'd like to think it wasn't intentional and they just forgot, but I see some people active on Facebook. Do they see? Do they care? It's just sad. It's just a reminder of disappointing birthdays with no friendships. 

Rather than be sad, focus on happiness. I have a really good friend, who was here, and she wished me a happy birthday one second into the day. Stop focusing on jerks from the past and expecting them to be something they're not. 

I want someone to say: "I know how much you've suffered, but it's time to become a movie star." That's a delusion. It's not reality. Accept that!