Obviously this is more complex than I was bullied in middle school, so I had a psychotic break. But being socially isolated, agoraphobic, daydreaming all day long from mid-2005 - 2011 ruined my life. I've been recovering from mental illness ever since.
Occasionally I make progress. Then something like the Coronavirus happens. The line between fantasy and reality has been so blurred lately because of the months of social isolation.
I want to apologize to my mom, dad, stepdad, EVERYONE. I want to be a wholesome, loving, good guy. Unfortunately, I struggle with a severe mental illness that makes me lose touch with reality.
What can I do? I'm already on so much medication. For the most part, I feel better when the medication is decreased.
I want to cry. I'm a prisoner because of how my mind works. I often can't tell what's the reality because I daydream.
Nobody can help, no medication helps, praying to God doesn't help. It's a nightmare. It'll only get worse when my mom stops taking care of me. Life sucks so much. Why can't I see clearly?! Please God help me see clearly.
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