My really good friend from the psychosocial clubhouse transformed my life for the better. Before August 2019, I had no friends, was socially anxious, agoraphobic, felt disconnected from everyone. I'm in synchronicity with this friend. Maybe it's because she's like a mother figure that I feel protected by. I'm a little mentally ill baby that she's showing the big world to. She's helping me overcome my agoraphobia, become familiar with New York City, and have a real-life out of my bedroom internet fantasy-land. I love her so much for that.
Tonight, I went to a fancy French restaurant for my 33rd birthday. I'll admit I was having panic attacks, felt people were looking at me critically because I eat like a slob and behave like a manchild. I get anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I want to scream, HELP ME!
But I had a wonderful time. I'm feeling so much better mentally because I was out of the house. I will thank my friend so much. I'm having loving, wholesome fun, the best days of my life. But it's not wise to be dependent on one person. Life is unpredictable and can change, I need to get money and independence. I need to stop being so afraid of the real world.
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