Some Posts (07 12 2020)

Post 01:

I'm not Batista foiling Triple H's (my dad's) nefarious Joker-like plans. He's my biological father. I'm just daydreaming and can't tell what's reality and fantasy at times.

Post 02:

I was bullied in my childhood, had no friends for years, and began living in daydreams to comfort myself from the pain. To have a life, I must live in the real world. Like my doctor says, I never promised you the real word would be a rose garden (Joanne Greenberg).

Post 03:

This isn't WWE, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or Gotham City (Batman) - it's PLANT EARTH! It might be comforting having sensational daydreams, but for success, I must live in the real world. Often, things don't end like a feel-good Hollywood movie.

Post 04:

I'm socially anxious and agoraphobic. I'm frustrated about living at home and blame my parents for being the bane of my existence. But today I tried venturing outside my comfort zone and drove to the beach on a busy day with a friend. We got lost and I began having massive panic attacks.

Post 05:

I was supposed to go to the beach with my friend, it was very crowded, I became overwhelmed with panic attacks due to the traffic. I wanted to get home safely as soon as possible. We still had a nice day and went in my pool. But I'm sure she was at least slightly disappointed.

Post 06:

It's true my chains are internal, not maternal. Today is a perfect example of that. The only one that prevented the beach was me. I was having severe panic attacks and agoraphobia from the traffic on the road. Then I get frustrated that my world is shrinking so I blame mom.

Post 07:

I was walking around the neighborhood tonight, I'll tell you today's HIV panic attack.

A tree limb scraped my arm... HIV? 

Then I kicked something that sounded metallic and I couldn't find what it was... A hypodermic needle?

It's a nightmare that I feel so unsafe everywhere.

Post 08:

I just want to be home safe and sound, living in my fantasy-land. I'm headed for doom when my mom goes away because I'm a dependent manchild. I must fight the daydreams, delusions, panic attacks, and get independent. I don't want to be institutionalized because I can't function.