Post 01:
About that horrible panic attack that I get throughout the day, with multiple scenarios. I almost want to be resigned to my fate, even though I'm not doing anything high risk or reckless. I think it's from getting nefariously poisoned. Please still be my friend even if it happens.
Post 02:
It boils down to I had no friends growing up. I wanted friendship. So I created this fantasy world with imaginary friends. It's actually very sad and most of the world doesn't care.
Post 03:
Who am I even talking to? There's no secret imaginary friend reading this. I believe there is. All evidence shows I'm shouting into a void.
Post 04:
Is my mother to blame for my lack of friendships? Did she nefariously sabotage my life? Or was it really the middle school bullies?
Post 05:
August 2012: I didn't have any friends. I went with my mom and dad to Atlantic City. As my dad took this picture he said: "I call this one the cougar." A woman who was passing said: "ewww creepy." I guess she didn't realize they were my parents and it was wholesome and innocent.
Post 06:
It'd be funny if Donald Trump became so upset that privately owned California social media companies are censoring him... So he creates a Government social media platform that all Americans are required to sign up for by law. You have to fill out info: like social security number.
Post 07:
Something shady is going on with my mom and dad. I have my suspicions, but at this point that's all it is. I can't be naive and gullible. I publicize my life on social media, they're intentionally playing dumb, watching for every little mistake. I'm honest, frank, and REAL.
Post 08:
I often get the "my parents are sadistic monsters delusion." Are they gaslighting me then I willfully blind myself to the truth? If so, most of the time I'm willfully blind thinking everything is rainbows and butterflies. I hope my parents are good and my panic is just a delusion.
Post 09:
My dad would take sensational photos making fun of me as a child. Also, some to fit his narrative. He took too many to count. I don't have access to most of them. I was willfully blind at the time. He probably burned the ones that don't fit his narrative.
Post 10:
I made a joke I'm like Spider-Man and my dad's like Mysterio. He's duping me that he loves me. I'm naive, gullible, and willfully blind thinking everything is peaches and cream, then he'll have a professional wrestling-like heel turn on me when I least expect it, turning evil.
Post 11:
It's time to willfully blind myself again, pretending my parents love me, making silly jokes thinking I'm going to Hollywood for masterpiece comedy about mental illness, and pretend everything is rainbows and butterflies while my life is falling apart.
Doctors say I'm delusional.
Post 12:
Maybe this isn't a happy and wholesome love story and loving parents who care about their severely mentally ill son. Maybe they're sadistic, nefarious, and evil. They've been controlling my narrative for when I finally WAKE UP to reality, attempting to erase their sick crime.
Post 13:
Even if I'm delusional, I'm having the SADISTIC MONSTER delusion again, and my parents love me... there's no denying it takes a lot of courage to post what I just have. I felt so right about it. It felt like a tremendous injustice was committed against me. I had to be HEARD!
Post 14:
I saw my dad today and he triggered intense bad thoughts. Now I'm getting horrifying panic attacks he poisoned me with HIV to rob me of my future. I need to realize this is a delusional, mood swing, the monster behind a mask, panic attack. He loves me. My parents love me.
___
UPDATE
Most of the time I'm happy-go-lucky Andrew. But once in a while, I get horrifying panic attack delusional mood swings thinking people are sadistic monsters (like my parents). It affects my ability to have meaningful relationships. I now know my parents love me. Delusions passed.
I'm gonna leave the delusional posts public. Why? Because I'm hoping a major motion picture company or a book publishing company will see the profound point I'm making about mental illness, and want to create a movie. Maybe make a disclaimer: some posts are delusional psychosis.
___
UPDATE
Most of the time I'm happy-go-lucky Andrew. But once in a while, I get horrifying panic attack delusional mood swings thinking people are sadistic monsters (like my parents). It affects my ability to have meaningful relationships. I now know my parents love me. Delusions passed.
I'm gonna leave the delusional posts public. Why? Because I'm hoping a major motion picture company or a book publishing company will see the profound point I'm making about mental illness, and want to create a movie. Maybe make a disclaimer: some posts are delusional psychosis.
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