Believe Them

I want to think people's intentions were genuinely good. If people were doing nefarious things to me - I want karma to happen. At the end of the day, I'm a wholesome guy looking for love. But I hope they're not monsters behind their masks who were secretly trying to kill me.

I want to enjoy my life and to be happy. I need to remind myself there are no hidden realities. Accept everything at face value. Don't try to dig beneath the surface. Don't come to a feeling of conviction about my SUSPICIONS. Only believe what I have EVIDENCE of. Believe facts.

Could people be lying? Sure. But try to trust them. If they say they had no nefarious intentions and weren't sadistic deceivers - take them at their word. Don't try day, after day to extract a confession from them about what I SUSPECT they have done to me. Believe them.

When I really think about it I know what reality is. What I SUSPECT I have no memory of and it's not corroborated by anyone. The problem is when I get emotional I come to feelings of conviction my SUSPICIONS are true. They aren't. It's an EMOTIONAL TSUNAMI or a "DELUSION."

They want me to increase my medication. They don't want me medicated for nefarious reasons. They love me. Frankly, I do not want to be. I need to master the "catch it, check it, change it" technique. I need to develop interpersonal relationships, self-esteem, and to get a life.