I SUSPECT a woman I've been socializing with is Olivia Rodrigo undercover. She's misrepresenting herself as a woman from a suburban art class. Although there's a resemblance - don't come to a feeling of conviction it's Olivia Rodrigo I've been hanging out with. That's delusional.
ASSUMING the woman I'm "friends" with is Olivia Rodrigo in disguise, why is she keeping me in the friend zone? Why doesn't she want to date me? Then I start the daydream my father has kept secret I have a half-sister - and that sister is Olivia Rodrigo. 3 Cs. Catch the daydream.
I daydreamed my ex-girlfriend from 2019 - 2021 is actually Yunjin Kim (Sun from Lost). Or maybe she's actually Chinese, not Korean and in her 20s. The daughter of a former New York Islanders owner. I'm losing touch with who she is. That's tragic. Bun Bun was a real world friend.
Don't daydream stories to make people "more interesting", especially when it comes to the people in talking about in this email, Not Olivia Rodrigo and Bun Bun. They're people who've been dealt difficult cards in life - just like me. Accept who they are at FACE VALUE.
Stop trying to discover a good hidden reality where they'll pull off the mask, say: "I'm your pop superstar soulmate." They'll rescue me from my sad and empty life and we'll live happily ever after. It's a suspicion I'm coming to a feeling of conviction about AKA delusions.
My mother said: "You WERE getting clear however YOU want AOT and to be controlled. Since stopping 10mg ALReady your more delusional, confused, hostile, distracted and you ll be completely incoherent soon. WE tried over and over and over but you choose maddness. We all love you but how many times can we ride the hostle, cruel, erratic ride down into hell. If you had taken injection MAYBE could have saved you from whsts coming. Its heartbreaking........"
To contradict what my mother said, on the mega regimen of psychiatric medications, in 2017/2018, I believed Taylor Swift loved me and was my soulmate. I think the key to recovery is to socially engage, get independent, and meet a girlfriend - to get a life in the real world.
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