I SUSPECT, Intergender Wrestling, Pop Industry

So here is what I SUSPECT: Something happened 20 / 25 years ago on a cruise. I called it intergender professional wrestling. But maybe the person didn't like me for whatever reason and wanted revenge on me. Just a SUSPICION. Nobody has confirmed or corroborated this.

I SUSPECT maybe this person knew powerful people in the pop music industry like Lady Gaga. Obviously, this person knew my stepfather and my mother. Maybe they were conspiring into making me take the roller coaster down into hell. Maybe they were making me feel like a zero, worthless, dehumanizing me, treating me like a piece of meat. Maybe they were forcing me to be involuntarily celibate - keeping me basically a virgin. After torturing and dehumanizing me, making me walk on eggshells, making me feel like a porta potty, worthless - then what they wound up doing the "Bad Romance" music video, forcing me to take a mega regimen of psychiatric medications, pharmacologically abusing me, then they had somebody treat me like a piece of meat then intentionally gaslight me into having an HIV scare and into taking PrEP. They basically metaphorically set me on fire. They broke me, tortured me, dehumanized me.

I need to realize nobody has confirmed this. Nobody has corroborated this. This is just a feeling of conviction I am coming to. Catch it, check it, change it. The evidence is I don't know Lady Gaga, the evidence is Taylor Swift wasn't trying to give me "Bad Blood," the evidence is "Look What You Made Me Do" isn't about me, not everybody was going to betray me and now I'm not going to trust anybody or anything. Catch it. Maybe this isn't horribly bad. Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe I'm delusional. Ya know? Maybe the pop industry wasn't conspiring into torturing me.