It's obvious there's a hidden reality. They gaslit me into being afraid of HIV and had premeditated intent to get me to take PrEP. They'll never confess the truth but it's obvious they're pharmacological abusers and metaphorical rapists. I wish they'd just admit the truth.
Hypothetically, if they confess they gave me the HIV scare, it might be a powder keg because it traumatized me and led to two psychiatric hospitalizations. But what can I do? Assault them? I don't want jail or to go to the psychiatric hospital again. And I can't put them in jail.
They did it to me. It wasn't an accident. They took a vulnerable mental patient at rock bottom and metaphorically shot me. I can't put them in jail or get revenge. They ruined over four years of my life. But let it go and move on. It'll be like a severely broken leg in the end.
They did it to me. There's no evidence. The evidence is I stepped on something and it was my choice to take PrEP. Frankly, that's bullshit. They were leading me down a dark path and it was all premeditated torture. Sadly, I'll be unable to prove it in a court case, but it's true.
Just accept it and have no relationship with them. If you embark on a journey of revenge DIG TWO GRAVES. The best revenge is NO REVENGE. The best revenge is MASSIVE SUCCESS and to LIVE LIFE WELL. If I go to jail or the psych ward over it - THEY WIN. Become a billionaire instead.
Maybe it really was an unfortunate accident. No one is lying to or gaslighting me. They were afraid of HIV for their own reasons, in their own right. I was shown blood work during intimacy too - which was clean. My parents love me, ex-girlfriend loved me, and doctors want to help.
Catch it, check it, change it. Realize I'm having an EMOTIONAL TSUNAMI. Calm down. They're no nefarious hidden realities. Accept everything at face value. No one is a monster behind a mask. There were no nefarious intentions. Compliantly take my medications. Relax. It's delusions.
What happens, and it's not the majority of the time, its 1% of the time. But I go from thinking they love me. To my mind going haywire and believing the HIV scare was PREMEDITATED. Then the tsunami passes and I'm 99% happy and chipper Andrew again. But the tsunami is damaging.
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