mommy loves me
My Email:
Sat, Aug 22, 2020, 8:58 PM
I'm like a baby who is hungry for a SOCIAL LIFE. Babies want mommy to feed them. They get angry and blame their mom that they're not getting food, feel like mommy is starving them intentionally. The reality is at 33 years old, I have to feed myself socialization. Mommy loves me!
Dr. Garrett's Reply:
Sun, Aug 23, 2020, 10:04 AM
Andrew
I say this in a spirit of ironic humor, which I know you appreciate.
"In your realization that children hold their parents responsible for everything, we can now rejoice that your long quest for meaning is over. Don't think about this any more because your email shows that you have already figured this out. You now understand, once and for all, that your mother is not a sadistic monster who has dedicated her life to depriving you of yours, but rather a person who loves you who has done the best she knows how in your behalf over the years."
Dr G
My Email:
Sun, Aug 23, 2020, 1:15 PM
When the camera is off and we're not talking over the phone, my mom is a b****. It's almost like she's aware people are listening.
When I hear my mom is not a sadistic monster who deprived me of my life I get predicate logic. What I think, my mom IS a sadistic monster. She's pretending to be a loving suburban housewife, but her and my father tortured me throughout my life. My stepdad is another innocent pawn in their stick game. I need to remind myself they're not gaslighting and controlling my narrative in front of doctors.
She sacrificed so much, working with a severely mentally ill son. MOMMY LOVES ME VERY MUCH. I'm just a cruel Man child that doesn't appreciate Mommy. Maybe someday I will.
Dr. Coplan's Reply:
Tue, Aug 25, 2020, 3:42 PM
Hi Andrew I would certainly echo Dr G’s insights and recommendations, Dr Coplan
No Hoax
My Email:
Fri, Oct 2, 2020, 12:20 PM
I like to think there's a puppet master, who is playing a prank on me, a hoax, and when the time is right I'm going to become a "rockstar." Unfortunately, my life is what it is. There's no secret conspiracy - good or bad. No one's protecting me. I can make major mistakes.
Dr. Garrett's Reply:
Sat, Oct 3, 2020, 7:44 AM
true, what you say
Love
My Email:
Tue, Oct 6, 2020, 12:57 PM
I often believe there's a secret admirer. They've been watching me, protecting me, are my guardian angel. When the time is right, they'll wave the magic wand - I'll be a rockstar. I'll live happily ever after with my soulmate woman. Others are involved too, and we're going to form a mental health "rock band."
Aside from recent friends I've met, the sad truth is no one cared about my existence. I was wasting my life sad and alone. My delusions boil down to longing for love. I felt unloved for so long, I'm crying out for friendship and love.
Stop daydreaming people love me. I have friends now, the situation isn't a relationship, but we love each other. It's REAL FRIENDSHIP, not a daydream. My life is what it is. Take life at face value.
There's going to be no fairy tale ending where a woman says: "I know how much you've suffered, Andrew. But your true love is here now. You're rich, famous, the sun is now starting to shine." It's not magical, but somebody loves me - a TRUE friend.
I'm told love and friendship will be more effective and curing my mental illness than any medication.
Dr. Garrett's Reply:
Tue, Oct 6, 2020, 1:49 PM
Andrew
My emphasis on your psychology is not to imply a de-emphasis on medication. Both are important.
Dr G
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