October 5, 2022:
Post 01:
I seriously think this year has given me cancer. It might be from breathing filthy apartment air all day long. Maybe I should clean my bathroom. It's possible it's causing the EoE.
Post 02:
Congratulations, you've probably killed me.
Post 03:
What have I done every single day for months? I create a lot of artwork and go to the gym. But I don't interact with people. 99.9% of the time I'm solitary. Yes, some of the artwork is incredible. But a life without human contact and love isn't worth living.
Post 04:
I think I'm funny and nice. But I don't show everyone the real me. It has to be the right kind of people for me to open up to. I don't like fairweather friends and acquaintances. Only true friends.
Post 05:
I've been single for about a year.
I had a lot of good experiences with my ex-girlfriend. We're still on good terms. She just moved on I guess.
I'm not even sure if you'd officially classify it as a real relationship. Technically, I've never been in a real relationship.
Post 06:
You can't make psychopaths feel guilt... They never will. If you're interacting with somebody like that it's best to get away from them.
Post 07:
I hate when people lie. I only want honest truthful people in my life. I feel hurt and humiliated getting deceived. Though the liars might find their gaslighting funny, I feel like a laughing stock.
Post 08:
About my ex-girlfriend... I got very sick from getting bullied and living in a solitary fantasyland for years. So it was kind of a mental health recovery friendship/relationship. I still consider her a good friend.
She doesn't want to see me. She's made that clear for a year now
Post 09:
I'm not really why my ex-girlfriend wanted to move on, but frankly, I have to move on too.
I wish her the best. Had great times with her. But maybe it's time for something new?
Post 10:
Unfortunately, I was dependent on my ex-girlfriend for my social life. When she went away so did my social life and I've spent a year in solitude ever since.
Post 11:
This isolation resulted in me creating cool artwork - but getting sick in so many ways.
Post 12:
I can't blame my ex-girlfriend for my solitude... It's not her fault, it's my responsibility to make my own life happen. I don't do anything to change.
Post 13:
I need to be a man and take control of my life and make my life happen. Not depend on my parents or ex-girlfriend to live my life for me. I'm 35 years old.
Post 14:
Don't start staying up all night and sleeping the day. Once you get into that routine it can become hard to break. I did that during the COVID-19 lockdown in 2020. :P
Post 15:
Days turn into weeks, turn into months, turn into years. You don't realize the good old days can be gone in the blink of an eye. Appreciate right now because a year from now it'll be history.
Post 16:
Even horrible times pass, and you'll look back and say I wasted so much time doing solitary nonsense. I feel so sick with EoE too. I hope it's not cancer. I want to enjoy life before I'm in my coffin.
Post 17:
If you're expecting me to be normal - I'm not. I'm a little bitter, dark, and disturbed from all the trauma I lived through... But if you get to know me you'll see I'm the sweetest guy ever.
Post 18:
People expect me to comfort to a certain extent and get horrified when I don't.
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