October 21, 2022:
Post 01:
Just know if I'm dying, it's all good. Don't lose your faith or get angry at God. It was fate. I'll see you in the next life.
Post 02:
Do I want to die? No. I think my life is about to get good. My best artwork and days are ahead of me. I'm in the prime of my life. Do I think it's possible I have a terminal illness and time is running after me? With the way I've been feeling this year I absolutely think so.
Post 03:
If I have terminal illness, I remember a pharmacist being horrified by the mega regimen of psychiatric medications my psychopharmacologist prescribed, especially the overdose of Cabergoline, and they commented on the insanity of it. Maybe my mother should've used common sense.
Post 04:
I know the horrified pharmacist isn't an expert and my psychopharmacologist is... But the psychopharmacologist isn't God. He doesn't know exactly what the medications were doing to me. If they kill me... Who cares? I'm just a worthless disabled adult child, with no future, doomed
Post 05:
I don't want to think my mother "accidentally", but really intentionally gave me cancer. She was pretending to help me, but was secretly SADISTICALLY TORTURING me. But I think back to so many examples throughout my life. Could she really be that stupid? It was INTENTIONAL MURDER!
Post 06:
Basically, what I think it was, my mother is a psychopath. She tortured me throughout my childhood. Then in 2011 I got sick and lashed out. My mother couldn't get over it and had to murder me while creating a facade she was trying to help me. It was calculated torture.
Post 07:
Although there was one isolated example of me lashing out in 2011, despite my mother's bullshit victim blaming narrative and gaslighting, that I'm the "problematic one", the truth is I was abused, powerless, and passive. She tortured me and got sadistic pleasure from my suffering
Post 08:
If I never get to say goodbye to you, bun bun... I want you to know I love you and enjoyed our time together.
Octotober 22, 2022:
Post 01:
Although I'm certain the hell you lived through was a billion times worse than mine. It doesn't even compare. What you're probably seeing and like about me, for an American I went through tremendous suffering. I was traumatized. I'm the undead too.
Post 02:
I think a lot of people underestimated how intelligent I am. They expect me to be a moron and are shocked to discover I'm brilliant. People even liked to call me "stupid." Let's end the "Andrew is a moron" narrative because it's complete bullshit.
Post 03:
Though, I'm traumatized and undead, it's given me a unique perspective on life. I'm still very handsome, charming, fun to be around, give off a cool energy. Basically, I'm not the same as everybody else, I'm different, and I like being around people who are different like me.
Post 04:
Few people are intellectually on my level, have the horrible life experiences I had. I feel an emptiness and void around most people. I don't connect or relate to them in any way. I'd rather be alone than force a fair-weather friendship. It's like I'm too different from them.
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