November 1, 2022:
Post 01:
My psychiatrist said: "I am concerned about our missing so many appointments in a row." To which I replied, "I'm having a hard time waking up for a 10 am appointment. It's too early for me."
Post 02:
I'm not sure if billionaires have the technology to read our minds and it's being kept secret - or if it's God. But there are things I've never told anyone. I'll give you a hint - thoughts I was having regarding Nickelback back in the day. Could it be a coincidence?
Post 03:
I am sick of psychiatry sessions. Maybe I'll just start pretending that I don't have severe mental health challenges, stop going to appointments completely, and come off all of my medications. I used to be excited to learn about my mind and recover, but now I don't care anymore.
Post 04:
I have suspicions based on things that have been said or done, but at this moment it's daydreams becoming real (delusions). I think there's a big secret and conspiracy going on. I'll be extremely rich and famous very soon. I want to know the TRUTH about EVERYTHING.
Post 05:
I realize it's Halloween... But Elon Musk looks like he thinks he's Ironman, and he's being treated like a rock star (The Beatles), not a professional businessman. It's a little ridiculous. Lol.
November 2, 2022:
Post 01:
You can sensationalize people as a buffoonish laughing stock for comedy, but if you have a history of horror, pain, and suffering, and you want to raise awareness for your cause, if you become Beavis And Butthead with me people will not empathize with what you lived through.
Post 02:
I think people misunderstand me. I'm not a bad guy. I love most people. I've said crazy things, sometimes out of emotion, might have a masochistic death wish. Hypothetically speaking, if everything went viral, a chain-reaction happened, it'd be chaos and very ugly for me.
Post 03:
We could do low-class, tasteless jokes, sensationalizing you and I as buffoonish laughing stocks and it would be hilarious. It's probably for the best we make this respectful, inspirational, and feel-good. Not strip us of our dignity for laughs.
Post 04:
Sometimes you do something nice, give people a nice day, expecting absolutely nothing in return. Until it dawned on me who you were, I assumed I'd never see you again. It was hanging out with some friends / classmates from college. Do the right thing even if no one's watching.
Post 05:
Some people have hidden agendas and want to help you or do the right thing because they hope it benefits them or their company in some way. They might not even be bad people. I prefer genuine friends, people who are not using you. It's like radio shows who have on-air friends.
Post 06:
There was a radio show that said they had some on-air friends, people they associate with for performance and entertainment, but in real-life they never talk and don't really know each other. However, there were some on-air friends that were also their real-life friends too.
Post 07:
I can't believe you've moved on and disappeared. I said how I needed help and I am getting help now. I'm certain it's thanks to you. I wish you'd return. But I'll try making friends with people at this art group. I miss you a lot. I know you haven't forgotten about me.
Post 08:
Have you ever come to a realization you're a genius and extremely talented in so many different ways, not only do I write my material, I perform it as well. I come up with hundreds of hilarious jokes in the time it takes an ordinary person to come up with one mediocre joke.
Post 09:
If someone gives of a vibe that they're very nice, people often try to bully them. I'm sorry the world is full of jerks. People were probably envious of how cute and happy you were. They wanted to make you miserable too - like them.
Post 10:
I'm aware of the eerie similarities and coincidence about the name Ed, but the lyrics to "I Need Ed, Mancrush" were literally written over a decade ago and I was literally thinking about my friend named Ed. Nothing professional wrestling related was in my mind. I swear to God!
Post 11:
My washing machine has been broken. My clothes have been soapy and soaked - takes two hours to dry. The laundry detergent wasn't getting washed out of my clothes. I'll have to go to the laundry mat or use my parents washing machine for the time being. This what was making me sick
Post 12:
It's so obvious the dynamic at the household is my mother is a psychopath who gets sadistic pleasure from my suffering and I'm a torture victim who's screaming and shouting to be rescued, and my step dad is completely oblivious and thinks we're just an ordinary family.
Post 13:
Even if I tried to tell my stepdad, listen my mother's a sadistic deceiver, practically a serial killer, he wouldn't believe it and everybody would say I'm delusional. So okay, live your own life. But somehow, I don't think he has any idea of the sadistic torture I went through.
Post 14:
What I allege my parents did sounds so far-fetched and crazy that people assume it has to be a delusion. Nobody believes me. Unfortunately for me, I was going through Holocaust-level torture by sadistic monsters who got sexual pleasure from my suffering. It's attempted murder.
Post 15:
If my mother really was trying to murder me while creating a facade she loved me, my psychiatrist and psychopharmacologist are trained to spot sadistic torture and victim-blaming, they'd get the FBI involved and I'd get rescued. Try to remember it's a delusion. My parents love me
Post 16:
I told my psychiatrist I hardly ever think of childhood bullies anymore. He said, although the bullying occurred 25 years ago, it's all I seem to think and talk about, which leads me to believe that are bullies still present in my life? Are my mother and father rapists?
Post 17:
I told my psychiatrist I hardly ever think of childhood bullies anymore. He said, although the bullying occurred 25 years ago, it's all I seem to think and talk about, which leads me to believe bullies are still present in my life? Are my mother and father victim-blaming rapists?
Post 18:
My psychiatrist said after I accuse my parents of horrible things, such as: running a pedophile ring, rape, torture, and getting sexual pleasure from my suffering. I never feel bad after the delusions pass. I still feel my parents are "Hitler" or Satan. My emotion just calms down
I also tend to believe outlandish scenarios about my parents being involved with a pedophile ring and I know it's probably not true, but it's because I have ptsd and I can only remember certain pieces of memories. It's possible I was abused in a pedophile ring but likely my parents were completely unaware of it. It is hard when you know your parents didn't protect you even though they built a facade of that being their main intention. It makes them seem like deceivers when it is more likely they are just as ignorant and victims of similar things
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