November 10, 2022:
Post 01:
I'm like Pavlov's Dog. I hear somebody say, "he's having a mental health crisis." It's possibly unrelated to me. But I immediately know, get the fuck out of there, because an ambulance could be coming to take me away.
Post 02:
In complete seriousness, if they gave me a psychiatric evaluation at the hospital, and they played one of my videos and asked me to explain it - I literally can't. What can I even say that will make me sound lucid and sane?
Post 03:
I'm an honest guy who wears his heart in his sleeve. If I don't like or respect somebody, even if they have a lot of money, I can't pretend and fake liking them. It'll be OBVIOUS I don't like you. I'm a genuine guy in that way. You can't buy somebody's respect with money.
Post 04:
Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths don't like free thinking people who they can't control. They want to write the story. Don't let them!
Post 05:
I SUSPECT my ex-girlfriend was a billionaires sugar baby when we were in college while I was wasting my life in a solitary fantasyland as an INCEL. She's told me through hints without telling me. She'll want to marry me. Should I accept it? It is what it is. Ask her if it's true?
Post 06:
Even if she was a sugar baby to the richest man in the world while we were in college, nobody is enmeshed with me like bun bun. Frankly, it's selfish of my to focus on this at this point and time. If I'm her friend, I should try to help her like she helped me, not shame her.
Post 07:
Can I get over and past that you were a sugar baby in college? If I wasn't attached to you, if you were just some stranger, acquaintance, or friend, I couldn't care less, but I want to date you again. You've been nice to me and love me, but I feel deceived and betrayed.
Post 08:
Lately, I've been so lost in fantasy, I can't even distinguish what's real and what's fantasy, especially when it comes to my ex-girlfriend, which is a real tragedy because she gave me the funnest real world experiences of my life. I'm losing touch with the reality of who she was
Post 09:
Thank you for everything, bun bun. I'm sorry I've been a shit friend. You deserve better than me.
Post 10:
I suspect my ex-girlfriends father might've been involved in organized crime, same with the people I knew in Levittown, and my father allowed my to get raped by Mafia members at Northside elementary school (in my childhood) because he had gambling debts...
Post 11:
I want revenge on everyone. All the pedophiles who took sadistic pleasure in torturing me, my parents for gaslighting and victim-blaming me when I wasn't delusional, the negligent psychiatrists and psychopharmacologists for killing me with unnecessary psychiatric medications.
Post 12:
Can someone tell me the truth? I want to fly into a rage and start emailing law enforcement about my ex-girlfriends father, my neighbors from Levittown, my parents. Frankly, even if it's true, I can't prove they raped me, sadly.
Post 13:
Frankly with all the wasted time and unnecessary medications that's probably killed me, I deserve a revenge worse than all of them getting locked in prison for the rest of their lives. They should be tortured like they sadistically tortured me. An eye for an eye? Not in U.S.A.
November 11, 2022:
Post 01:
They all thought I was a loser with no future, I'm going to prove them all wrong. If back in the day they thought some billionaire was better than me, even if they learned their lesson, then I should REJECT THEM when I become the ultimate badass because that's happening now.
Post 02:
I want to think that bun bun always believed in me and never lost her faith, was never involved with a billionaire. But I was pretty pathetic for a long period of time. I came back with a vengeance for a come back victory. It would've been correct to assume I'd wind up a failure.
Post 03:
I know we mature as people, grow, evolve. For a while, I was presenting myself as a pathetic manchild. During this time I hope bun bun wasn't involved with Elon Musk ASSUMING I'd be a loser for my whole life, because if that's true it really hurts my feelings. I feel BETRAYED!
Post 04:
As friends, people can occasionally let you down, I don't know why I want to believe in bun bun, think she's never said or done anything critical regarding me. Never thought of me as a loser. Is a genuine true-blue friend who I can count on. I hope I'm not wrong about bun bun.
Post 05:
Sadly, just a few short years ago, bun bun probably thought I was a pathetic loser, just like everyone else. She probably viewed billionaires like Elon Musk as being superior to me. It's funny how when someone gets determined there can be a twist of fate. Now I'm badass. Karma?
Post 06:
Bun bun literally enrolled at the Fountain House because of my social media posts - which is very badass - we had so much fun together.
But was it after learning a lesson how billionaires are psychopaths?
Then she CAME BACK to me realizing I'm an empathetic, angelic, good guy?
Post 07:
I need to accept the harsh truth NOBODY believed in me a few short years ago. They all went away, underestimated me, and left me in a solitary fantasyland for years while pursuing people who were "better than me." Now I'm a complete badass with no genuine friends. They use me.
Post 08:
You know what... Stop being negative. Something tells me to BELIEVE IN BUN BUN. EVERYONE lost faith in me, EXCEPT FOR HER. I just know it. Even at my darkest times, bun bun still believed in me. She's loyal, true-blue, and I'm going to be a lucky man when I marry my best friend.
Post 09:
People are wondering why I got extremely hot all of a sudden and behave so cool, to answer your question, it's because I'm on almost no psychiatric medication at the moment. It was psych meds that were making me fat and giving me lobotomized energy. Sad I was taking that garbage.
Post 10:
I don't have to date bun bun. If she rejected me and chose some billionaire over me - thinking he was superior - I should convince myself another woman is superior to her and better for me... Although it's not true. It feels like I was betrayed by my loyal true-blue best friend.
Post 11:
I want to believe bun bun was always loyal to me and knew I was a badass, not think she betrayed me. Sadly, she probably forgot me, proceeded to learn the billionaire was a psychopath, then decided to help me afterwards. I was in a solitary psychosis fantasyland as an INCEL.
Post 12:
If you think "Bill Lumbergh" is better than me, great, go to him. He never loved you. He was using you. I did love you, but now I feel BETRAYED by my best friend.
Post 13:
A few short years ago they thought a was a nerd, going to be a loser, but now they all want to come back and act like they've always loved me. They forgot and BETRAYED me thinking I'd fail. The only reason they came back is because I'm turning myself into the ultimate badass.
Post 14:
I want to think bun bun has never done anything that I'm not going to like. Unfortunately, she has. I either have to accept it. Or reject her and choose someone new. She put a lot of time and energy into helping me and doing something tremendous for me, so don't turn heel on her?
Post 15:
It might be my half-sibling had a threesome with her when I was in a solitary psychosis daydreamland. He stole my girlfriend, then gave her to me. It's too late. I wasted so much fucking time. You know what? FUCK YOU!
Post 16:
I'm so angry at everyone for all the lying and gaslighting that I don't even know what to do. There's not just one SADISTIC MONSTER and I want revenge on EVERYONE.
Post 17:
I have to calm down. I am so fucking angry. If someone did something I don't like - REJECT THEM AND FIND SOMEONE BETTER. I'm not settling down with someone's sloppy seconds. You didn't steal my girlfriend because I can write my own destiny. I won't date her again.
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