Post 01:
When I accidentally die in the most over-the-top and ridiculous way, during the Raw Is Andrew tribute episode, we need to get Ed to give me a blue collar Levittown toast to say goodbye. They don't even drink. Are they even friends?
Post 02:
Although Ed and I probably aren't friends. He can sincerely toast to a self-destructive accidental death. It's not like we're billionaires, we both grew up in the white trash suburbs of Levittown.
Post 03:
So you're saying these jokes aren't funny? You certainly found them hilarious 10 - 15 years ago.
Post 04:
I was crying for help 10 - 15 years ago. Instead, they mocked me and how dressed. I was a buffoonish laughing stock. Not that the jokes were funny then, but they cruelly laughed at the truth. I proceed to waste 15 years in solitude. It's a complete tragedy now, so unfunny.
Post 05:
I'm literally at a point where nothing matters anymore. Nobody impresses me. Nobody will make me a star struck. After wasting my two decades of my best years and now I'm probably dying too... Who cares about anything?
Post 06:
I'm living with psychopaths. How do I say to my mother that I want to stop seeing my father because of his lies, gaslighting, and abuse? She'll ask me, "are you getting "delusional"" about him?" I don't know because his life is a secret. I suspect it's true. It's probably reality
Post 07:
My mother and father both blatantly lie to me and keep the truth from me. They force me to be passive and if I confront them with reality they call me "delusional." It's mental abuse and gaslighting. It was sadistic victim-blaming. I never needed those psychiatric medications.
Post 08:
Although I haven't seen her, I think my ex-girlfriend has been going wild on the internet this year too. She's going to return. When she returns I'll be like OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO?! And we'll watch the metaphoric nuclear explosion go off. Then we'll be in a relationship.
Post 09:
This has gone on for too long. You really need to quench my thirst.
Post 10:
I really want to get together again with you, but really don't feel like going into New York City. I don't know what's stronger, my desire to see bun bun or hating NYC? Probably the latter.
Post 11:
I think it'd be pretty funny if you were in my apartment and when I got back from the gym you surprise me when I least expect it. I might slightly see that scenario coming now. So you gotta get more creative with the surprise return. But I'm expecting it to be soon.
Post 12:
My father making fun of me for getting into lowest common denominator entertainment superhero movies and forcing me to sit through that shit was never funny. It was bullying. It only became funny when I "began delusionally thinking" I was a superhero like Owen Hart - cuz he died.
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