Post 01:
To people who say: "stop comparing the hell you lived through to the Holocaust." You're actually correct. I shouldn't compare this to the Holocaust. It feels raw and real, but I was never afraid for my life. It's like a metaphor. That's the worst event in modern history.
Post 02:
It's POSSIBLE there is mold or dust in the Air Conditioning / Heating unit. The EoE has been better. I've had it off for months. Turned on the heater yesterday. Then EoE got bad. I'm not saying it's that 100%. But my parents won't even accept the THEORY as a POSSIBILITY.
Post 03:
The EoE got bad yesterday and it was after putting the heater unit on for the first time in months. Just an observation. Maybe there's mold inside it? I'm not saying 100% it's the air coming from there, but at least accept it COULD BE POSSIBLE.
Post 04:
I was told to "Clean the filter, it could be a little dust." But if it's mold in the air conditioning / heating unit that's making me sick, this problem is not going to get resolved by my parents. They'll just say "IT'S FINE!" while I die.
Post 05:
I was asked my what my father did for a living. He worked in an office, unless he was lying about that too and was actually a significant billionaire in the entertainment industry who was trying to make my half-siblings successful. When somebody lies it's hard to know what's true
Post 06:
People like the easy and intellectually lazy narrative that my problems are genetic, that way they don't feel responsible. The truth is trauma and solitude is why I have schizoaffective disorder and they're to blame. My mind literally got injured from getting bullied and hiding.
Post 07:
My mom asked me: "are you ok?" In what way? That question is too simple. Physically I feel horrible. Hopefully I'm not dying. Mentally I don't need psychiatric medications or to be hospitalized, but I'm not happy. I'm "not ok" in almost every way. I'll just say, "I'm ok." Easier.
Post 08:
People say, "ask for help." From who? Nobody listens to me. They just say, "you're fine", neglect me, and pretend there's no problems. I'm trying to go to support groups, but don't know them, and feel sad and empty. I'm all alone, not ok, and nobody cares.
Post 09:
It's probably a pinched nerve in the neck.
I might need an immediate appointment with an orthopedic chiropractor for pinched nerve.
I'll call tomorrow.
The pain in my neck is so bad.
Post 10:
Dammit, I messed up my neck and I'm in a lot of pain.
Post 11:
I realize she's probably an important person, but I love Bun Bun.
Post 12:
Why would Donald Trump's daughter be in a Levittown art class undercover just because I'm there... My psychiatrist would say it's FANTASY.
Post 13:
If there was an important person undercover, I started out the class in a horrible mood, then became chipper and happy. I don't think I was behaving impressive. Maybe even scary. Sorry, I'll try to feel better and improve my mental health. Nobody wants to be around scary people.
Post 14:
I probably shouldn't have posted that, because ASSUMING it's true, that's pretty famous. I don't want people to know and want her to continue to come. I SWEAR TO GOD I WON'T SAY A WORD TO ANYBODY BESIDES MY PSYCHIATRIST, and he'll think I'm delusional.
Post 15:
Assuming it's not a delusional fantasy, while it would be cool to be friends with the former presidents daughter, I think it's OBVIOUS that I'm in love with Bun Bun. I haven't seen her in about a year, though. The relationship is over. Has been over. I'm single. Maybe move on?
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