November 1, 2022:
Post 01:
If it's true, I should separate/divorce from you, and go solo or form a new band. Frankly, I'm powerful enough alone to make myself successful. Though, the teamwork videos are usually the best, especially if there's on screen chemistry. Sometimes a participant ruins a video.
Post 02:
Rather than get upset about your past, I should reject you, and move onto someone else. Nobody is forcing me to be in a relationship with you. Although we shared great times together and I still love you. Frankly, I don't like your secret. You got me attached to you.
Post 03:
Even if it's true, you're the only one I want to date at the moment. But I don't like the lying and gaslighting. Plus that's a gigantic secret to keep from me. Can I learn to accept it? I guess I can. Will anyone unconditionally love and understand me like you do? Probably not.
Post 04:
I realize what you did is probably like your "dog sin." It was traumatic and you feel guilty. Still, it's humiliating for me. I feel like the billionaire had the fun, now it's time for you to settle down with the good guy, the pathetic gentleman. I was in a solitary fantasyland.
Post 05:
Even if you were involved with a billionaire, if I'm sick and dying, who do I want around for comfort? The image that always pops into my head is you. They're people who lose spouses, have to remarry, and find love with somebody new, but we're both still alive at the moment.
Post 06:
Sorry for never giving you your birthday gifts. I still have them sitting in my apartment two months later. Unopened. They'll probably collect dust for months to come. I did notice the last time you said "love you" to me was a day or two before your birthday.
Post 07:
Be prepared for a terminal illness diagnosis. It's coming. People say "the old Andrew is back" since almost coming off my psychiatric medications, but it's also going to be the end of my life, unfortunately. So maybe I should make my final days count. Maybe make plans with you.
Post 08:
I did not get dressed up this year for Halloween. Unfortunately, I have a bad feeling that this was my last one ever. I'll be dead by this time next year. MARK MY WORDS! It'll be a fact. I feel that sick.
Post 09:
To someone who grew up in a horrible place and a lot of her life was tremendous suffering, I realize the horror you lived through, it shouldn't be made light of, and should be exposed. For fun, I think you could also make a great comedy character if you decide to team with me.
Post 10:
The comedy I'd like you to participate in would be feel-good and in good taste. Imagine getting you to have fun with a silly and light-hearted genre after the hell you lived through. I think that would be tremendous. Hopefully, we can make you genuinely hysterically laugh.
Post 11:
I'm not sure why, but there's something about you that I'm so fascinated by. You're so much cooler than any of these fake kings - millionaires, billionaires, movie stars, pop stars. Remember the starstruck Taylor Swift video I made many years ago? I should make one about you now!
Post 12:
Maybe we could create a buddy cop movie. A crazy, low-functioning, 35 year old manchild, from the suburbs of the U.S.A. starts hanging out with the most unlikely person. They develop a genuine true love friendship.
Post 13:
I'm so fascinated by you and would love to be your friend. If you'd ever like to reach out to me, my door is open. I'm not sure how my mother would react to bringing you over the house. Then again, it might've happened in 2013 already and we didn't even realize who you were then.
Post 14:
I have a THEORY. Maybe I'm allergic to Tide laundry detergent. When I sleep on the bed sheets and wear clothes I washed with it - that's what's giving me the EoE. Obviously, it's just a SUSPICION.
Post 15:
Sorry for being critical of your look and comparing it to when I was wearing Hot Topic t-shirts 5 years ago. I actually like you. Though, I've never met you, dig the vibrations you give off on social media, find you attractive. Please don't get insecure and respect anything I say
Post 16:
It's POSSIBLE I'm allergic to Tide laundry detergent. Plus my washing machine is broken. It doesn't complete the loads and now takes two hours to dry soaked clothes, buti don't have the money for a new one, so I'll continue to use a broken washing machine until I get make money.
Post 17:
I could try to tell my parents the washing machine is broken, but I've learned throughout the years, it's more trouble than it's worth. Sometimes it's just easier to use a damaged washing machine then successfully convincing your parents that it's broken. They'll never believe it
Post 18:
I remember in my childhood trying to convince my parents there was a problem with the internet. They misunderstand and don't want to accept there's a problem. They said, "they're probably working on the nodes in the area." Our cable modem was actually broken. We needed to fix it.
Post 19:
I was watching The Wildman video I made with a friend yesterday. It reminds me of Razor Ramon's "we're a tag team coming to the WWE soon" vignette and promos to hype us before our in-ring debut.
Post 20:
I think the Tide laundry detergent and Downey fabric softener, which I use too much of already, is causing my EoE. For the summer, it seemed to get better somewhat. It was still bothering me, but I wasn't taking the rabeprazole. What's changed? Now I'm wearing bulky sweaters.
Post 21:
On second thought, if you sensationalize yourself in a comedic way, while I act like a buffoon it kind of ruins the message of the horror you lived through. When comedians act in serious roles in movies you can never take them seriously anymore because they behaved like a clown.
Post 22:
My post where I said I'm genuinely having the time of my life taking an art class on the psych ward because it's so much better than the hell and isolation I've lived through is funny because it's true. Relax Andrew, you're not rock and rolling at Madison Square Garden... Yet.
Post 23:
There was a cashier I got at the supermarket, she was probably about 19 years old and beautiful. At 35, I'm way too old for her, have lived another lifetime. It reminded me of myself at that age. Naive, but giving off good energy. Sadly, they're bad people who don't like cuteness
Post 24:
They're people who will see a cute 19 year old, realize they're naive. Basically, don't be a bully. Help people. Would I like to date an adorable 19 year old college-age woman? Absolutely! She'd probably be way too immature for me, though. She hasn't had the experiences I've had.
Post 25:
A 35-year-old man is no kid, even though I like to think of myself as an adult child. Although a 19-year-old supermarket cashier is legally of age, I have a lot more experience and wisdom than her. You should try to help people and guide them in the right direction. Don't be mean
Post 26:
To the people talking the art class on the psych ward with me, you might think I've opened up to you, like you've known me longer because I'm over-the-top, charming, and speak with no filter. I'd like friends, but I could go back to a solitary fantasyland and be just fine.
Post 27:
I realize a lot of people wear masks. The people in the art class on the psych ward have a life story they're keeping secret from me too. Maybe I am hesitant to get too close to people because I feel like everyone will betray me in the end. You think I've opened up - I haven't.
Post 28:
Do I want to be famous? Maybe on a small scale - like Jim Norton or Matt Hardy. You could walk around the Roosevelt Field Mall and nobody would care, maybe somebody will scream "delete." I don't want to be Kurt Cobain, The Beatles, or even Lady Gaga. That seems annoying to me.
Post 29:
I want to be left alone and don't like feeling emotionally naked with no secrets, to begin with. I like anonymity, flying under the radar. My psychiatrist says I need to comfortably walk around the world with confidence and not be scared of bullies, not be turned into Kurt Cobain
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