Post 01:
Who the fuck did my psychopathic parents sell the old Levittown house to? Has it all been one big joke on me?
Post 02:
My mother knew EXACTLY WHAT SHE WAS DOING. She was sadistically torturing me and forcing me to waste my best years. She is a MONSTER BEHIND A MASK who was INTENTIONALLY trying to kill me. It's NEVER BEEN A DELUSION.
Post 03:
My mother is like a James Bond villain. It's comedically ridiculous in so many ways. She feeds me, provides me with dinner, the internet. However, she was trying to give me cancer in many different ways while creating the facade she wasn't trying to kill me. It's gaslighting.
Post 04:
January 2020 (going on PrEP) wasn't Kelly's fault, or the lounge, or even Dr. Garrett... It was probably my mother who was trying to scare Kelly away and keep me involuntarily celibate for the rest of my life, while pretending like she wasn't trying to rob me of sex.
Post 05:
Or am I getting emotional and seeing my mother with "The Incredible Hulk" glasses lens at the moment? Let my emotions calm down, if my mother TRULY wanted to kill me she would've and there would be nothing I could even do about it. See her with the calm "I'm her artwork" lens.
Post 06:
Even if there was lots of deception. Even if my mother sold our old home to a bully of mine. Maybe this will have a feel-good ending. Maybe it won't end in a trainwreck. My life has been 35 years of unimaginable pain and suffering as it is. I deserve happiness and to smile now.
Post 07:
Was ANYONE trying to help me? Or was I just a torture victim of SADISTIC MONSTERS? I want to think there was at least one genuine truly loving person, and not everyone was trying to BREAK ME.
Post 08:
Or maybe my mother was letting me Shoot The Moon like in the card game Hearts. She knew everyone would bully me and when the time was right I'd come back when a vengeance and win. Everyone who WASN'T GENUINE would be exposed. Only the truly kind people would remain.
Post 09:
See my mother for all the good she's done for me. Without her I could've been homeless. She allowed me to turn myself into the modern day Vincent van Gogh with her money. It was tough love. She made me cold and strong. But I guess it's still love.
Post 10:
Like Dr. Garrett (Dr. Natural) once said, maybe the correct term isn't "the delusions have passed." Maybe instead I should say "my emotions have calmed down and I'm seeing my mother with the loving mother glasses lens again."
Post 11:
I'm actually starting to feel guilty, because while I'm angry and want vengeance on the bullies from my past. Maybe I'm a little too INTENSE. I've suffered tremendously. The best revenge is massive success. Just let them be and don't focus on the past... Even if it's bad.
Post 12:
I'm having a rough evening, but trying to feel better. Hopefully, tomorrow is a happier day for me. I think with a little TLC and love, I'll calm down and be an entirely different person. Right now, I feel cold and alone. I don't have anyone comforting me. I want to SCREAM!
Post 13:
If I find true love and am cuddling with a woman... Who cares about my mother and father? I want to be LOVED! That's what I'm crying out for.
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