Post 01:
I want the God's honest truth. No excuses. Remember, assuming you care about me and were having me "pay a debt" in your mind, there comes a point where you can go too far and I won't even like you anymore. I don't want a relationship based on lies. I'll feel deceived and hurt.
Post 02:
Stop ASSUMING something nefarious was going on and they were gaslighting me into taking PrEP in January 2020. I'm VERY UPSET about it. Maybe it's emotional thinking. Maybe it really was an accident that no one wanted to happen. No one was doing it to me besides my own fear.
Post 03:
I'm not looking to prove the PrEP "accident" in the supreme court. I'm looking for honesty and genuine friendship. I don't know why I am having a hard time accepting there was no monster behind a mask. Even so, maybe somebody should've intervened?
Post 04:
Assuming Kelly was simply a "cutie behind a mask", intended to give me the surprise of my life, but her deception and my fear led to a trainwreck - I'll forgive her. But I want the TRUTH. No deception. No dishonesty. The moral of the story is DON'T LIE.
Post 05:
They let me take PrEP in January 2020 and it made me the sickest I've ever been in my life towards the end of the month. Take accountability for my mistake. I'm looking for someone to blame. Blame myself. Thank my friends for sticking by me. Many would've run away. She's strong.
Post 06:
My mother really is a sexual sadist who intentionally tortured me, was trying to kill me, and give me cancer while pretending she wasn't. She literally told me in metaphors. Then when I get angry she gaslights me and accuses me of being delusional. I was literally a prisoner.
Post 07:
I'm trying to tell myself it's emotional thinking. My mother did not have me involuntarily celibate to torture me... But she did. I was being intentionally sadistically tortured by my mother. It's never been a delusion. She is a monster behind a mask who enjoys my suffering.
Post 08:
Even if what my mother did is worst case scenario, which it is, don't let her rile me up and start saying things that are irrational. Calm my emotions down. Try not to get angry. Express it in a way where I see the situation for what it actually is, not an emotional tsunami.
Post 09:
What triggered this, I was just having dinner with my mom. I've expressed how I've been getting excruciating headaches starting with taking psychiatric medication earlier this year. And I was getting headaches this weekend. My mom said "oooh, I got such a bad headache."
Post 10:
It's not predicate logic. My mother is talking in metaphors. And by mentioning her headache she is telling me she intentionally was trying to give me brain cancer. I have no doubt whatsoever. If I bring it to her attention, she'll gaslight me and accuse me of being delusional.
Post 11:
The psychopharmacologist might say his intentions were never nefarious. My mother SUSPECTED the mega regimen of psychiatric medications was causing cancer and that was her intention, to kill me while creating the facade she wasn't. The doctor knew I was in hell. He admitted it.
Post 12:
Assuming they weren't all conspiring... It was my mother who was gaslighting me into thinking Kelly had me take PrEP. The person who actually wanted me to take it was my SADISTIC MOTHER. She wanted to rob me of sex and to give me a lifetime of unimaginable suffering.
Post 13:
My mother was getting the psychopharmacologist to murder me with the mega regimen of psychiatric medications. At the very least, he was aware but it was too difficult to get involved, assuming he wasn't sadistic. I'll probably get cancer soon. Try not to lose faith in humanity.
Post 14:
Or am I getting emotional? This is emotional thinking? My mom was mean. Now I'm throwing a temper tantrum. Maybe my mom is unempathetic and narcissistic. But I'm not like Elizabeth Smart, being held prisoner by sexual sadists.
Post 15:
Even if this is an 8 on the bad scale (10 being the worst). Try not to get emotional make it a 10. Maybe even try to calm down to a 3. Try not to get triggered and angry at my mother's bullying.
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