Post 01:
I just got a video on TikTok (which is owned by the Chinese Government) that seemed like a threat. it was about a disappearance and it mentioned the word Cell. Could Kelly have not wanted me to post her photos and videos not to protect her, but to protect me?
Post 02:
I suspect Kelly has some involvement with North Korea.
Fuck, I'm going to have the Chinese and North Korean governments wanting to assassinate me now just for behaving like a sensationalistic buffoon, attracting Kelly, then making my relationship with her public.
Post 03:
When it comes to Lily and the dog in front of the computer posts, I don't know what went on in secret, but I always really liked her when we interacted. If she was mocking me for being inferior, I feel guilty getting bigger because I'm getting strong. I want everyone to be ok.
Post 04:
Everyone knows what the problem is, though I'm afraid to make it public, I need to get serious because I DO NOT want to wind up in the psychiatric hospital again.
Post 05:
I realize intervention and serious changes need to be made, but let's try to avoid the psychiatric hospital if possible, please.
Post 06:
Nobody is a loser or a nobody.
It's important to not put others down - including yourself.
Try to lift people up and help them.
Post 07:
There have been times in my life where I desperately needed help. It would be so horrible to encounter a bully in those times. Be who you needed then to others. A helper.
Post 08:
What do you know about my father? Is he important in the movie industry and actually has a lot of money?
Post 09:
My mother and father (Christine and Robert Koloski) really are sadistic sexual sadists. I wasn't delusional about them. It was gaslighting. Their torture has probably killed me. Though, I'm not officially diagnosed with a life-threatening terminal illness yet.
Post 10:
After seeing the October 2019 pictures, assuming Kelly loves me and she wasn't a monster behind a mask, she better have a pretty good explanation for January 2020 if she plans to return into my life and become my soulmate. It's almost like she's telling me I'll be taking it.
Post 11:
Kelly's very powerful and could crush me under her foot. So why isn't she? Was January 2020 really an accident? Was something nefarious going on in late 2019 that they were trying to cover up? I hope I get a good explanation in time. If they had good intentions, I'll be forgiving
Post 12:
Did Kelly intentionally get me to take PrEP through gaslighting without me even realizing that I was about to do it? Was she a master manipulator?
Post 13:
I can get over a lot of what happened, but I need a real explanation for January 2020. Your apology needs to be genuine. Honest. No excuses. If you were actually gaslighting me into taking PrEP then we can't be friends anymore.
Post 14:
Was Kelly's whole intention to torture me while creating the facade she wasn't? Or did she actually love me? Was it all lies? Was she a monster behind a mask?
Post 15:
I want to forgive you and believe you truly love me BUT there needs to be a very good explanation with NO EXCUSES. Even more than taking the PrEP, a betrayal from someone who I THOUGHT loved me is even more heartbreaking. If the intention was sadistic torture, I can't forgive you
Post 16:
They were INTENTIONALLY depriving me of love and keeping me in solitude to SADISTICALLY TORTURE ME.
Post 17:
I'm coming to a realization I actually was the victim of SADISTIC TORTURE. I was living in HELL like Elizabeth Smart. Even if everyone didn't know 100%, they certainly suspected, but it was too difficult to get involved. Psychiatrists should've recognized the abuse.
Post 18:
Do you think Kelly was a deceiving monster behind a mask who was intentionally trying to infect me with HIV from 2019 - 2021 in secret? Because, lately I feel pretty sick, I'm getting rashes on my face, and everybody comments I'm losing weight. I'm not sure why.
Post 19:
Could Kelly and my parents have led me to believe she didn't have HIV. Maybe they were all trying to kill me? Or is this a delusion?
I didn't get tested for HIV in November 2022 at my primary care physician. My red and white blood cells seemed fine. Was tested again at Hospital.
Post 20:
Even if Kelly was a sadistic deceiver, who had HIV and was trying to infect me in secret... Don't get emotional. Handle everything calmly. Accept facts. I'm not medically diagnosed with it yet. Don't convince myself I have it from torture.
Post 21:
My parents (Christine and Robert Koloski) set the whole thing up. They knew Kelly had HIV. And they were trying to infect me because I was vulnerable and practically a virgin. Their goal was to rob me of sex FOREVER. They are all sexual sadists.
Post 22:
Even if it's true, Kelly secretly had HIV and was secretly trying to infect me. Don't catastrophize the worst. I do feel sick. But I'm not medically diagnosed with HIV yet. Even if I was given it by a psychopath, I could always date an HIV woman. My sex life isn't over.
Post 23:
Oh, it's Elon Musk posing as Charlie Sheen. Kelly is on my side and was trying to convince him that I was just like him. While Elon's probably aware I'm intelligent and intense. There's some painfully obvious differences and that's mental illness.
Post 24:
ASSUMING Kelly knew Elon Musk and what I suspect is true... Let's try to keep me out of the psychiatric hospital if possible because I'm certainly on the fast track right back into the psych ward. Let's make sure that DOESN'T happen.
Post 25:
Are Elon Musk and I going to share mutual respect like Barack Obama vs. John McCain? They disagree, but it's very civil. Or will it be more of a shitshow like Hillary Clinton vs. Donald Trump where people bring up all sorts of past allegations, people will BLATENTLY lie, etc.?
Post 26:
I've been in solitude for MONTHS. Nobody is trying to kill me with it. It's my choice. I am extremely frustrated. It causes anger. I can exercise and do artwork. I'm going insane from lack of love.
Post 27:
It feels like everyone is gaslighting me. I'm getting upset. It feels like I live in two realities. The "they love me" reality and the "they secretly want to kill me" reality. The truth is shades of grey.
Post 28:
A big stressor is being financially dependent on my parents. I have hardly any money. I'm trying to go viral on social media to become a movie star or talk show host. I'm to it's unrealistic and a pipe dream. Hollywood is very competitive only the best of the best succeed.
Post 29:
I feel like I've never had fun. As a result, I fear death, especially life-changing / life-altering diseases like cancer and HIV. There's no medical evidence or proof yet. Time may not be running out for me.
Post 30:
I'm really envious of everybody else for having fun while I wasted so much time. I was not a torture victim. I simply lack the ability to attract romantic partners and friends. Hopefully, many of my best days are ahead of me.
Post 31:
I'm afraid loved ones are sadistic deceivers, monsters behind a mask who are PRETENDING to help me but in secret actually trying to hurt me then I'll go insane when I realize it's true. Maybe they love me and want the best for me, not trying to kill me.
Post 32:
Do they want to humiliate me and then ultimately kill me while creating the facade they aren't? If this were true, psychiatrists or the FBI would recognize it and recuse me from my home environment. The problem is Schizoaffective disorder.
Post 33:
On a scale from 1 - 10. 10 being the most extreme. Right now, my inner fire feels like a 10. I have an intense inner flame that I'd like to be extinguished. I want to cool it down to a 5 or 6.
Post 34:
The key to cooling the inner flame is getting out of solitude, stopping posting on social media, and getting a life. Meeting a girlfriend ideally, but ANYTHING in the real world.
Post 35:
I know what I need to do - I talk a good game - now DO IT!
Post 36:
It feels like my brain is on fire. I'd like a girlfriend to moisten my mind. Some causes of this are solitude, lack of love, financial dependency, social media pipe dream, everyone rejecting me and looking at me critically, fear of the real world, and hostile dependency.
Post 37:
I'm extremely frustrated. I'd like somebody to help me. But I have to save myself. Nobody is coming to rescue me. Nobody will pour water on my brain because it's "on fire."
Post 38:
I'm extremely frustrated. I'd like somebody to help me. But I have to save myself. Nobody is coming to rescue me. Nobody will pour water on my brain because it's "on fire."
Post 39:
If you're financially dependent at 35 years old, who would want to date you? Dependency on "mommy", makes me vulnerable. When she passes away - I'm SCREWED!
Post 40:
I've experienced 35 years of pain and suffering, how could it get worse? I'm lived through HELL! Basically, my life can only get better, right?
Post 41:
I was hurt by MONSTERS in my past. We say in psychiatry it was the bullies in middle and high school who caused my mental health INJURY. But I get "delusions" it's parents and my ex-girlfriend (Kelly). Tell people in the partial program. Maybe I need to adjust my antipsychotics.
Post 42:
My past was one big nightmare, but hopefully, now I have freedom and a happy life ahead of me.
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