Post 01:
I'm actually very scared of Kelly. Though, I was very sick and off antipsychotics (no excuse), I realize I messed up BADLY. I'm sorry. Someone gave me the hint if she truly wanted to crush me under her foot for my masochistic social media posts - she would have.
Post 02:
Sometimes when you're mentally ill you can hurt others who have good intentions. Take accountability for what you've done. No excuses. They COULD crush you like an ant. However, if somebody empathizes, relates, and is forgiving... They won't. Give them the power and trust them.
Post 03:
It's scary to give someone power to CRUSH YOU because nobody wants to wind up in the psychiatric hospital for ten years. If you've screwed up, you have to trust that you're loved and they won't put you there. Take accountability. Don't make excuses. Say, "I was wrong. Sorry."
Post 04:
Believe it or not, some people actually want to help people, not get revenge on the mentally ill for mistakes they have made. Could you have hurt them? Yes. Is everybody a vengeance seeking monster? No. Especially if you take into consideration they're a good person at heart.
Post 05:
Although I was sick with mental illness and delusions (no excuse)... Kelly is a good person and I was hurting somebody innocent with my social media content. I was self-righteous and thought I was doing the right thing at the time. I feel guilty. I'm sorry. I did it to myself.
Post 06:
Kelly is too good for me. After what I did, I proved that I'm trash. I don't deserve somebody as good as her. Or maybe I learned my lesson and can be better for somebody in the future. Even if I ruined my chances with Kelly, I wish her the best. I'm sure she still loves me too.
Post 07:
I feel like I can't trust anyone and everyone is about to betray me. Maybe they aren't all deceivers, and even if they are, maybe they're going to help me. Trust them.
Post 08:
I'm inventing the iPhone.
Post 09:
...unless it's NOT A DELUSION. I'm calming myself down and pretending pedophiles from the movie industry weren't gaslighting and humiliating me, then they ultimately planned to murder me. Kelly is exactly who she says she is. If she wanted to crush me, she would have already.
Post 10:
Could pedophiles from the movie industry have set me up like "The Joker" from Batman? I was the torture victim and they're going to frame me to look like a criminal. They'll get away with the SADISTIC TORTURE they put me through. Or am I getting delusional? Kelly was genuine.
Post 11:
Take the antipsychotic (Latuda 60mg). I need it for clarity. When I don't take it my vision about Kelly is blurred. I think she's a monster behind a mask. When I take it I remember all the fun we had together. It was the best times of my life. Don't be scared of her. She loves me
Post 12:
Trust Kelly. She's not like Mysterio and I'm like Spider-Man and she's planning to metaphorically cut my neck. She was dealt some difficult cards in life, genuinely loves me, and wants me to succeed. If she wanted to kill me, she would have already. We genuinely love each other.
Post 13:
Kelly's exactly who she says she is, a woman 13 years older than me (in her late 40s), in debt, living in Queens, New York. She's NOT a sadistic deceiver who wanted to hurt me because I'm innocent. She wanted to help me recover from mental illness and genuinely loves me.
Post 14:
Don't worry. My best days are ahead of me. I was vulnerable and my parents wouldn't let me get hurt by psychopaths. If they sensed there was anything wrong with Kelly they would've intervened, not allowed me to get tortured. Maybe they secretly matched me up with my soulmate.
Post 15:
I'm getting a rapid delusional mood swing panic attack. If any crime was committed the FBI would be knocking... Trust me. Calm down. I love Kelly. She loves me. Keep taking the antipsychotic and hopefully I get better soon. Let it get into my system. It's only been a day.
Post 16:
If anyone from the hospital in January sees this and has my number, feel free to shoot me a text. I lost the piece of paper with everyone's phone number.
Post 17:
Death and knowing you're going to pass away has to be very scary. The loss of a loved one is horrible, it's especially bad if you're financially dependent on this person. Sorry for not understanding and being unintentionally ignorant.
Post 18:
The Latuda is making me very restless and tired in the evenings. It's very difficult to take.
Post 19:
I have a cut on my hand that's red and it stings when stuff toches it. I touched the door at restaurants, mall, touched spray cleaners (gym), coffee cups, pretty much lots of stuff in public. In months past, I might've worn one glove to keep it covered. Now I'll kiss it up to God
Post 20:
I guess it's POSSIBLE the cut on my hand could become contaminated, but EXTREMELY IMPROBABLE. It'd be like winning the unlucky lottery. Try not to obsess and catastrophize. Everything is going to be ok, I'll have a life with a woman soon.
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