Post 01:
If what I suspect is true, Kelly and my father duped me into doing something illegal, the FBI would be at the house right this second. I'm starting to panic again. Fight off the delusions and see them with the they love me glasses lens, not the deceiving monster lens.
Post 02:
When you get rapid delusional mood swings about people going from they love me, to they secretly want to kill me, back to they love me... It'll confuse them and affect your ability to have meaningful relationships. Trust that they do not plan to betray me and they're genuine.
Post 03:
Was that Ann from college at the gym tonight?
Post 04:
I think "the cruelest joke the universe will play on you is meeting the right guy at the wrong time" videos are about Ann. She knew we could be extremely compatible, but I was a crazed, mentally ill, manchild in college. She knew in the future I'd recover, but time kept ticking.
Post 05:
To her romantic partner, assuming I haven't met you in person recently... Hey dude, I lost 15 years in a solitary daydreamland. You win. There's nothing to be angry about or envious of. My life was insane suffering while you were likely having fun together. Soooo.
Post 06:
Try not to think too much about it. It is what it is. There are women I've had crushes on throughout my life, if I had even a slight bit of social skills, maybe we could have been girlfriend/boyfriend. But yeah, there were some major problems going on with me in college.
Post 07:
Although it was being documented on social media, I dropped off the face of the Earth, and no one cared. The people and potential girlfriends moved on while I poured my best years down the drain because it was my responsibility to save myself. I needed to make myself attractive.
Post 08:
I can't be angry at everyone for watching me disappear and descend into madness. I wasn't offering anything to the world besides madness. It's too bad about the decade and a half of lost time. I did it to myself. Come back with determination. It didn't have to turn out this way.
Post 09:
I heard an ad on the radio about how social media companies know how addicting social media can be. It leads to a distorted image of people's bodies and causes eating disorders, can be highly addictive, can lead to suicidal thoughts, and it fuels my delusions and movie pipe dream
Post 10:
The ad on the radio was for some lawyer. I thought to myself, I think I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt I became extremely addicted to social media and it led to me descending into madness. Is it worth googling to see if I have a legitimate legal case against big tech?
Post 11:
I want to think she lost sight of my worth and moved on, forgetting I existed. Maybe she never did despite getting pressured by everyone to do so. She never stopped believing in me.
Post 12:
Kelly kind of told me in NYC after we all got dinner, how this guy I've been hanging out with recently was a past romantic partner of hers... Then she said how she likes me more. With that said, I've had past romantic partners too. So try not to get too envious.
Post 13:
I realize social media can be addictive - why didn't they intervene? I had no friends and turned to social media daydreaming about becoming a movie star. It's better late than never to give up the addiction... But some real damage has been done. It led to me going insane.
Post 14:
Because I was bullied in middle and high school, had no social skills, I stayed at home and had a social media superstar pipe dream. I never developed interpersonal relationships. Also, I became detached from the real world living in a fantasyland.
Post 15:
At the mental health partial program we're discussing social media addiction. Ironically, instead of saying delete it, I tell myself this will make an epic post / video for the upcoming movie / documentary. The key to recovery is going off social media and having interaction.
Post 16:
They ask: have I made good decisions? I wasn't using drugs or alcohol, but I was living in a social media daydream world.
Post 17:
It was like I was in solitude all day long, needed socialization, but was making internet posts. Why didn't my parents intervene?
Post 18:
Social media creates a distorted image of how people actually are. You see people during the best moments of their life. You might perceive the woman from college is having the time of her life, but it's a distorted image of reality.
Post 19:
When we see "the beautiful people" on social media and on TV in the U.S.A. it can cause people to have eating disorders. Eat. Don't try to compete. Enjoy your life. Perfection doesn't exist. In fact, the social media model is probably mentally ill as well with an eating disorder.
Post 20:
I've had difficulty focusing. Listening to conversations. Replying. It's causing headaches. I just want to be fully immersed in socal media, detached from reality, daydreaming. I desire friends and a girlfriend. But I lack social skills and interpersonal relationships skills.
Post 21:
I have a social media addiction. It's a bit like a gambling addiction where I'm hoping it'll make me rich and famous. Take accountability. It's never to late to give up an addiction, but hopefully, not too much significant damage has been done.
Post 22:
The situation is I'm hoping my social media posts will make me rich and famous. I'm daydreaming my ticket to freedom, independence, and a life success is social media content.
Post 23:
I'm very frustrated because I wasted a lot of time solitary posting online. 15 years.
Post 24:
Because I don't have a social life I turn to social media. I think my art and videos are good. But I don't do it in moderation. I become obsessed. The key to recovery is give up the daydream world and to get a life.
Post 25:
Initially in college, I was hoping to attract women and friends with my social media content because I lacked social skills I wanted to show them I was cool through my posts. It actually scared everyone away in reality.
Post 26:
Psychiatrists and my parents say my social media superstar pipe dream won't end how I think it will. It has the potential to end badly.
Post 27:
I'm starting to accept I wasted a lot of time alone, unloved, frustrated, and miserable. The silver lining is I created some cool artwork.
Post 28:
I want to be a rich and famous movie star / artist. But the key to recovery is deleting social media. It's a catch-22, I want my content to be used for a movie, but I also know to get healthy I must live in the real world.
Post 29:
Like Joanne Greenberg in "I Never Promised You a Rose Garden. The key to recovery is giving up "Wonderland", deleting social media, and living in the real world. Stop with the magical thinking that it's going to make me a movie star.
Post 30:
Social media is a bit like a gambling addiction. I think it's going to result in tremendous success, but I'm actually pouring my life down the drain in a solitary fantasyland.
Post 31:
This past weekend my father asked me what I thought about Mark Zuckerberg. I said "indifferent" because I don't really have much of an opinion of him. Actually, is social media responsible for my lost time and descent into madness? Maybe I should have an opinion.
Post 32:
On social media, people see me smiling and laughing, but behind the mask, I'm actually crying on the inside.
No comments:
Post a Comment