Post 01:
Thank GOD I have to be in a simulation because if anyone I love got hurt I'd never be able to forgive myself. We'll erase the photos and posts necessary before it truly goes public so I reflects the truth, the bullies at school are who hurt me.
Post 02:
At this point, I kind of hope everyone is happy and does a babyface turn at the end because I don't want to get angry. I just want to feel-good now. I'm willing to accept apologies.
Post 03:
Even if Kelly knew my biological father, Owen Hart, was dealt some difficult cards in life, and is exactly who she said she is. 13 years older, late 40s early 50s. I was frustrated and hadn't been with a woman in years. She gave me the time of my life in NYC. She lent a hand.
Post 04:
It wasn't Elon Musk. It wasn't Charlie Sheen. Around 1998, Kelly knew Owen Hart (my real father). Despite the trolling narrative the internet is pushing, he wasn't monogamous and faithful to his wife. He was a selfish manchild. Then died in an idiotic way and left behind families
Post 05:
I'm about the same age Owen Hart was when he died and calling myself more of a man then he was is funny, because although I call myself an immature manchild with no adult responsibilities, it's the truth. I'm more of a man than Owen Hart.
Post 06:
I noticed since starting the Depakote in January I've been getting migraine headaches. Also, I've been extremely forgetful like I have brain fog. Don't catastrophe life-threatening brain cancer. Maybe it's simply the Depakote that's causing the headaches and forgetfulness.
Post 07:
People are hesitant to hire people with mental illness. They'll never admit it publicly. You might be more talented and the most qualified. But if the interviewer comes to the realization you're ill, you'll lose the job. There's a stigma with mental illness even at low level jobs
Post 08:
Corporate America is very cut-throat. They're places that are like a microcosm of communism in the United States of America like the Fountain House. They'll be understanding. But you won't be making millions answering the suicide hotline.
Post 09:
Who is more significant - sensationalistic and buffoonish Owen Hart - or someone who empathizes and tries to help a homeless person who wants to kill himself? The U.S.A. says it's The Blue Blazer.
Post 10:
I need to stop catastrophizing the years of hell I've lived through have given me a life-threatening terminal illness like cancer. There's no medical evidence that I'm dying yet. So don't convince myself I have something that I don't.
Post 11:
I feel like I've never had fun or a life. I don't want to die after a lifetime of pain and suffering. It makes me feel horrible because I want to smile and be happy.
Post 12:
Try to get out and socialize more and don't convince myself I'm dying from cancer because at the moment there's no evidence I have it.
Post 13:
If I had a life-threatening illness (like cancer) I'd be very sad because I feel like I've never truly lived. So get out, live in the real world, meet friends, and have fun because I will die someday. Hopefully, not anytime soon.
Post 14:
Stop blaming my mother for my failure and lack of a life. I'm 35-years-old. People with mental illness need assistance and nurturing and that can create a hostile-dependent relationship. However, she's not keeping as a prisoner to torture me. I choose to sit in solitude.
Post 15:
People with mental illness often have it much worse. I'm not "living the dream." At least I'm not homeless or in a group home with a low-functioning schizophrenic roommate I hate. For the cards I've been dealt I have the best possible situation at the moment.
Post 16:
My cocoon is being comfortable at home in solitude. Some advantages are nobody will hurt me and I don't have to do anything that causes anxiety. However, I'm extremely frustrated, involuntarily celibate, living in a delusional daydreamland, with no money or independence.
Post 17:
It's important to get independent because right now my cocoon is a house of cards being enabled by mommy. I shouldn't be afraid to live in the real world because it's usually fun when I do.
Post 18:
The real world isn't always a rose garden. However, a fantasyland won't protect me when mommy dies. By living in the real world, I'll be much happier, gain self-esteem, and a life. The key to recovery is socialization. Isolation is the key to sickness. I must change this myself.
Post 19:
My mommy is not a monster. She's trying to protect me. And even if she is, what do I gain by blaming her? Get away and get independent. Don't make posts how she's Hitler from her internet wifi. If she was really "Hitler", why would I stay? She's not. It's easy to blame her.
Post 20:
Just because I'm disconnected from The real world, don't know how to have interpersonal relationships, and lack social skills don't jump to the conclusion I lack empathy. Schizophrenics often have empathy and can experience true love. With that said, it's still a bad diagnosis.
Post 21:
Although at the time Kelly likely didn't see Owen Hart was a loser manchild, now in hindsight it's so obvious. I guess she was naive in her early twenties. I can't be angry that people enjoyed their twenties while I was in solitude. The majority of the world did in the U.S.A.
Post 22:
Owen Hart was an extroverted party animal. I am an introverted person who likes his alone time, though I do desire a romantic relationship with a woman. I can't blame extroverts for having better social skills than me and being able to attract a romantic partner.
Post 23:
In the real world, if you stare at a woman with a blank expression like you're Syd Barrett from Pink Floyd they'll reject you. Women in their early twenties would rather socialize and have fun with extroverted Owen Hart, not someone who functions on a higher cosmic level. Lol.
Post 24:
According to my psychiatrist, because of school, I learned the entire world was a warzone full of sadistic monsters who want to hurt me. That caused my mental health injury then I began to hide from the world. In reality, most people in the real world are nice and not bullies.
Post 25:
Even if you think the Schizoaffective disorder isn't from childhood trauma, which it is, but even if you think it isn't... That is the problem at 35 years old. My chains are internal, not maternal.
Post 26:
Even if Kelly knew Owen Hart in her early twenties, I desperately needed a nurturing mother figure to help me, and she lent a hand. Try not to overthink too much about it and be envious of the fun everyone else had. I had the most fun of my life in NYC and it's thanks to her.
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