Dr. Garrett's Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 3:20 PM
Andrew
As I have explained to you before, just as having an increased temperature when you have a cold or the flu is a symptom of a medical condition, your seemingly unshakable sense of CONVICTION that something hidden is going on despite there being no evidence (no shovel) is a symptom of your psychological condition. CONVICTION without evidence = a daydream world. The world would make sense were you to think, "Oh, the reason no one confesses to gaslighting me is that no one is gaslighting me. That's why there is no evidence. But my illusory CONVICTION leads me to the conclusion that everyone is lying to me." Your best chance at the moment to free yourself from the illusion of CONVICTION that everyone around you is engaged in a plot is to work with Dr Coplan to see if some medication target this sense of CONVICTION that makes it impossible to trust anyone. Your mistrust then consigns you to a lonely life, the very thing you want to avoid.
We can re-evaluate week by week, but it sounds like for now you remain deeply lost in you mistrustful daydream word in which your SUSPICIONS make socializing impossible for you because anyone who tries to be kind or helpful eventually gets classified as a nefarious trickster. You could take an action that is under your control and that is your responsibility to take, and that would be to work with Dr Coplan to search for a medication regimen that would damp down the pathological SUSPICION and CONVICTION that i robbing you of your recovery. It is extremely difficult to trust and act in a manner opposite to your CONVICTIONS but is precisely what you must do if you are to save yourself from a nightmare world is which anyone who approaches you you perceive as up to no good.
Dr G
My Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 5:42 PM
I know Dr. Garrett says that I get a feeling a conviction with no evidence (no shovel)... but they are totally f****** lying to me. There is without a doubt a hidden reality. How bad is it? I don't know. But I suspect it's bad. They just know if they tell me the truth I'm going to be enraged. So they lie to and gaslight me. It's not like having the flu and coming to a feeling of conviction with no evidence. It's they're lying. Everyone knows they're lying. But they continue to lie.
My Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 5:56 PM
Can somebody just confirm and corroborate what we all suspect is true? They're liars, gaslighters, there is without a doubt a hidden reality, it's very bad, and everybody knows it. I just wish they would tell me. They're cowards because they know if they told me I'll be angry.
Dr. Garrett's Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 6:49 PM
Andrew
Given your CONVICTION that you are the victim of a broad based conspiracy, as we have discussed in the past, as long as that is your point of view, and what you want is a confession rather than to work toward living in the actual world, there seems no point in meeting next week. We can assess week by week to see if your perspective changes enough to make psychotherapy viable again.
Dr G
My Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 7:14 PM
I feel like there's a bad hidden reality, but you say that's my mental illness and are refusing sessions with me until I accept that. Even though my convictions FEEL REAL - they're DELUSIONS. No one is lying.
Dr. Garrett's Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 7:23 PM
It is true there is no conspiracy. You are misconstruing my words, Andrew. I did not say "I am refusing to meet with you." I did say that as long as you believe I am a member of a nefarious group out to harm you will, because you hold that belief, believe what I say to you in psychotherapy to be lies rather than an attempt to help you. If a significant part of your motivation is to "catch me in a lie" or elicit a confession from me for something I have not done, then you will be listening to what I say as though gathering verbal evidence for your CONVICTION rather than listening to what I have to say in my effort to help you. In this email you say that your CONVICTION is delusional. That is true. In this email you say no one is lying. But earlier in the day you said everyone was lying. I know you think in "double bookkeeping" but there has to be enough of your attention in the real world to make progress in psychotherapy.
My Email:
Jan 20, 2024, 7:30 PM
Tonight I wasn't thinking of you as the sadistic persecutor soupe du jour. Tonight's monster was my parents. But you talked me out of the emotional tsunami and lucid and happy Andrew is back. I no longer believe there's a conspiracy... Until it happens again - which is totally will.
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