Even though they say there's no hidden reality about the HIV scare, there clearly is a hidden reality. They just know I'm going to be enraged when they tell me what it is. I'm going to hate them and want them dead. But I don't want to wind up in jail or the psychiatric hospital.
Even if they gave me the HIV scare with premeditated intent - don't seek revenge. What they did is so bad. They were dehumanizing, bullying, tarring and feathering me. And I'll want to explode. But it's best to get socially engaged, find love, and make myself successful, not jail.
I know Dr. Garrett says I'm revising history to have a sadistic persecutor soupe du jour. It was my irrational fear that made me take PrEP. No one was gaslighting me about HIV. Get socially engaged and make progress in my life. Stop obsessing about something from 4 years ago.
Start talking about the progress I'm making, not being obsessed over something that I SUSPECT is true. It's a feeling of conviction about something no one has confirmed or corroborated. Just my daydream they're sadistic monsters who tortured me with PREMEDITATED INTENT.
Hypothetically speaking, even if it's true... What's better - assaulting the sadistic persecutors then going to jail over their torture? Or moving on from the psychopaths, finding love, and making myself successful? Obviously, it's a happy and successful life.
I shouldn't even hypothetically indulge it to be true. I should forget about them, get socially engaged, happy, and enjoy my life. And maybe I can come to a realization that I'm having "DELUSIONS" about them.
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