Although what Dr. Garrett did to me is very serious, a crime, and not at all like sensationalistic WWE... He's going to try to allege my social media and emails aren't reality. Or am I sexually frustrated and I'm projecting he's a monster onto him? He's not a SADISTIC DECEIVER?
When I think people are deceiving sexual sadists - CATCH IT, CHECK IT, CHANGE IT. There's no evidence anyone gets perverse sexual pleasure from my suffering. Am I really suffering? Without a doubt. I desire intimacy. No one present day is a monster behind a mask who tortured me.
Basically what I'm trying to say with the sexual abuse and HIV scare delusions is I want sexual intimacy, and I can't seem to get it on my own. I want my mother, father, Dr. Garrett, and so on to get me a girlfriend. Instead, I bring charges of sexual perversity. It's projection.
The HIV scare is the same thing. I've been involuntarily celibate for practically my whole life. I feel like women won't want to date me now. The HIV scare is being enraged how I'm not having sex. My fear of what HIV would mean came true - no sex, life, or independence.
I'm to blame for not having sex. How can Mommy or Daddy match me with a girlfriend? My chains are internal, not material. It's MY RESPONSIBILITY to socialize and get intimacy for myself. The problem is I can't seem to meet anyone. So I blame people for my hunger and frustrations.
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