Older Men
My Email:
Wed, Aug 8, 2018, 1:10 PM
I went on Match.com to meet a woman, but none are replying to me, so I keep changing the "what I'm looking for" to men ages "30-70".
I've given wealthy older men (in their 50's, 60's, and even 70's), my name, cell phone number, and even had adult conversations with some (and shared "pictures").
I was invited for fancy dinners, then to go back to their Manhatten apartment for fun.
It really excites me thinking they're the same age as my parents, have significantly more money, and probably have children my age. But I could easily get hurt. One of the men even said I seem very innocent.
After the excitement is over, I stop replying. Then later on, I reply again. I do this again, and again, and again.
Ultimately, I'd like to be in a relationship with a woman my age. I'd like to meet someone in the real world.
Am I seeking older men because women aren't replying? Or, do I like older men?
What do you think I should do? Obviously, my mom wouldn't allow me to date an older man. Is this Sex addiction? I can't stop!
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Wed, Aug 8, 2018, 1:32 PM
Andrew
There is a puzzle here. On the one hand, periodically you believe that adult members of your family have used you for sex. On the other hand, on Match.com, you are playing at inviting older men to use you for sex (there can be no other meaning to coming over to an apartment for a little "fun"). Any thoughts about this contradiction?
Dr G
My Email:
Wed, Aug 8, 2018, 1:48 PM
Often I get the delusion that I was sexually abused by my Father. But I wasn't.
I'm probably repressing homosexuality.
I probably like older men because I have no Father figure in my life.
I also want to be "used for sex", because I was degraded, and severely bullied as a child.
I deny my thoughts, and I project my fantasy onto my parents.
But I believe I like women too. Am I gay? Or simply bisexual?
Drawings
My Email:
Fri, Aug 10, 2018, 11:45 AM
Here are some drawings I made, if you'd like to see more, let me know!
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Mon, Aug 13, 2018, 12:14 PM
When did you draw these?
My Email:
Mon, Aug 13, 2018, 12:20 PM
Why? Do you like them?
I created them last week and this week. It's meant to look like an elementary school kid drew them. That's the joke. It's supposed to be absurd. Lol
Here's me showing them to my father:
https://youtu.be/lEyskPZzY_w
And I attached some more. :P
I'm strongly considering going to the Fountain House today (for media day), but may not due to the rain.
See you tomorrow
Date?
My Email:
Wed, Aug 15, 2018, 8:08 AM
As you know, I texted that woman from the Fountain House yesterday. She replied, and I'm seeing her today in NYC independently of the FH. It MIGHT be a date? So that's exciting. But she wants to talk about serious topics - so it might not be.
My Email:
Wed, Aug 15, 2018, 9:12 PM
My "date" couldn't have gone worse. Lol.
I received this woman's cell phone number about a month ago. She gave it to a bunch of people, and she probably forgot she gave it to me.
There is an Andrew who is a staff worker. She's more familiar with him, but I forgot he worked there.
I texted her, it's Andrew. I never called her. We were set to meet in Manhatten.
I took an hour train ride. I got to Starbucks... and she says, I thought you were the OTHER Andrew. Lol.
She didn't even realize my name was Andrew.
We briefly chatted, then we went our separate ways. She wasn't mean. I just wasn't who she was expecting.
However, I was unphased. It's now a funny story.
And my girlfriend could cheat on me, and I'd be like: "eh, I didn't like her anyway."
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Wed, Aug 15, 2018, 9:19 PM
This is a funny story! Good practice for you, though. If you could text a real girl once, you can do it again.
up in smoke
My Email:
Sun, Aug 19, 2018, 7:01 AM
I had an ex-girlfriend, I haven't spoken to her in years, and it was clear she was in a new relationship. But I thought the relationship was an illusion, I wanted to believe my ex-girlfriend was coming back into my life when the time was right... then my delusion went up in smoke.
They're posting photographs from their wedding, talking about a honeymoon in Jamaica. Even after overwhelming evidence, I still want to believe it was a fake wedding, even though that makes no sense.
I'm sad about the wasted time. How she build a relationship, got married, while I lost years.
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Sun, Aug 19, 2018, 2:56 PM
I hope that your sadness over this event will redouble your effort to find pleasure and pride in events in the real world with real people.
My Email:
Sun, Aug 19, 2018, 7:51 PM
My ex-girlfriend got married, and I'm seeing all the wedding pictures. And I'm so sad. :(
I wasted so much time
But you're right. I need to find people in the real world
My Email:
Mon, Aug 20, 2018, 10:36 PM
Sometimes you don't appreciate someone when you have them, you want other people/things... Then when you don't have them anymore, you want them again. Lol.
Date (Anxiety Medication)
My Email:
Sun, Aug 26, 2018, 11:49 AM
I'm usually reluctant to take my AS NEEDED prescription anxiety medication because I'm on a mega regimen of other meds too.
But this date is making me so nervous, I WILL be taking it today.
The dates at noon. Wish me luck. Hopefully, she's nice and doesn't brutally reject me.
Dr. Coplan Reply:
Sun, Aug 26, 2018, 1:11 PM
Good luck Andrew
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Sun, Aug 26, 2018, 2:45 PM
Let me know how it goes. If it does not go as you had hoped, you can learn from it. We will discuss in our next session either way.
My Email:
Sun, Aug 26, 2018, 3:46 PM
Our date went very well. Thanks for asking.
We planned a second date Tuesday, to go bowling.
Strangely enough, she lives right around the block from me. She's within walking distance.
Needless to say, this is a real-world activity.
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Sun, Aug 26, 2018, 4:02 PM
Yes. This is a real world activity!
Deleted YouTube
My Email:
Sun, Aug 26, 2018, 5:31 PM
I deleted my YouTube, and no one even reacted. I'm not sure the response I was expecting, certainly not balloons and confetti.
But I had over 2,000 videos and invested so much time, the least someone could've said was "good for you!"
Sadly, no one cared about the big decision.
My Email:
Mon, Aug 27, 2018, 9:26 AM
Yesterday, I went on a date, and the date was successful. I have a second date on Tuesday. I decided it'd be smart to clean up my social media presence. So I deleted nearly everything, including my YouTube. I had over 2,000 videos and invested YEARS into it.
Was deleting my YouTube channel a mistake? I feel like I could've gotten positive recognition from it. How will people discover me now?
There were some really awesome videos on the channel, and there were some really crazy ones too.
If I want to move forward with an ordinary life, employment, relationships, it doesn't look professional.
I was sad to delete them all. But felt it was necessary at this time.
I have EVERYTHING (videos, pictures, etc), backed up on my computer and on external hard drives. None on the internet at the moment. Someday I'd like to upload them again. But it'll take FOREVER to do so!
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Mon, Aug 27, 2018, 3:10 PM
Andrew
Painful as it may have been to delete the YOUTUBE postings, it is a step toward living in the real world, which is where you need to be.
Dr G
Should I Cancel The Second Date?
My Email:
Tue, Aug 28, 2018, 3:25 PM
Today, I have a second date with the woman from match. We're supposed to go bowling. Obviously, that's a healthy real-world activity.
But I'm not feeling 100%. Cancelling on second date looks bad.
Should I cancel? I need to know ASAP since the date is at 7:30.
My mom said cancelling the date is depression and anxiety, and just go. I do agree. But I don't think that's entirely it.
I also think I'm sick and will be distracted the whole time
Here's the text I'd send, "if possible, can we reschedule? I really want to see you. But I'm not feeling well. I'd like to see you as soon as possible"
Dr. Coplan Reply:
Tue, Aug 28, 2018, 4:38 PM
Give it a try
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Wed, Aug 29, 2018, 12:04 AM
Andrew
I am just seeing this email now. Unless you are physically too sick to go, I would encourage you to have the second date. The real world is anxiety provoking, but it is the only road to real independence.. The fantasy world is not anxiety provoking in the same way because you can make up any happy ending you wish. Try to stay in the real world. Either you will step out to meet reality and build your independence now, or reality will come and find you eventually as your mother's ability to support you declines, as it inevitably will some day.
Dr G
IMPORTANT: Tomorrow's Appointment - stop abusing the dog
My Email:
Mon, Sep 3, 2018, 8:50 AM
Hello Dr Garrett,
Do we have an appointment tomorrow 9/4/2018 at 12 pm?
Unrelated Tweet:
I know people who treat kind animals cruelly, like a happy Goldendoodle.
I think to myself, please kiss the dog and pet the dog, stop abusing the dog.
She's such a nice dog too. To be that miserable that you abuse a goldendoodle. It's absurd!
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Mon, Sep 3, 2018, 1:02 PM
See you tomorrow at 12 noon
God
My Email:
Tue, Sep 18, 2018, 10:03 AM
I was thinking I'm special and different. Then I noticed I was in train car 666. The devil's number. Maybe Satan was putting those grandiose thoughts in my head.
In God's eyes, no one's better than anyone else. We're all mortal.
I need to attend church again. God is What It Is!
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Tue, Sep 18, 2018, 10:09 AM
Tere is a car 646 and a car 656 and a car 666, and so on. Your being in the 666 car is the luck of the draw. Not a message from God. It is an idea of reference.
Get Off Sexually
My Email:
Thu, Oct 4, 2018, 8:43 PM
My parents get off sexually that I was a virgin until I was 24-years-old, had no social life growing up, was running myself into the ground, was hospitalized 6 times in 2011. They get off that I went crazy from their abuse.
My Mom, Dad, AND Step Dad.
Dr. Garrett Reply:
Thu, Oct 4, 2018, 10:02 PM
Andrew
It is not a credible idea that your mother, father, and step-father are sexually aroused by your suffering. One possibility here is that when you are feeling the constraints of your life, you blame your parents by bringing charges of sexual perversity. You and I need to investigate where this feeling that your parents are fiends comes from.
Dr G
No comments:
Post a Comment