Some Posts (04 07 2023)

Post 01:

My mental health hasn't been great to be honest. I really need some help in the form of genuine love. I really need a friend. I need to calm down. From sitting in solitude I've gone crazy. I know it's my fault.

Post 02:

I just want to get in my car and drive somewhere. I don't know where to go. But it's getting too late. It'll be best for my to go to bed soon.

Post 03:

I'm a little depressed tonight. Getting involved in the world is a great idea. Anything to get off social media and to develop interpersonal relationships. I feel like I've been the unloved solitary man for like my whole life. Ugh.

Post 04:

I need to stop crying and feeling self-pity and create a life. I can do it. I've done it before. I've met girlfriends in the real world. I can do it again.

Post 05:

Is my father really a simple man who likes the New York Islanders, worked at an insurance company, and only has two children (me included)? Or is there tremendous deception? Maybe he went to Harvard? Works with Mark Zuckerberg? Worked on TV show Lost? Is related to Taylor Swift?

Post 06:

The problem is, although I am on some psychiatric medications, I'm a lightly medicated and very ill person with Schizoaffective disorder at the moment.

Post 07:

Dr. Coplan said: "It all sounds delusional Andrew. Your parents are not fundamentally sadistic. Let alone subterfuge. So where does that leave all these plots"

Post 08:

The bullies in middle and high school definitely took sadistic pleasure in my suffering and that's etched into my psyche. Some of suggested it's projection of intent. I'm projecting my frustrations over being involuntarily celibate and dependent for my whole life onto my parents.

Post 09:

I really want to get intimate with a woman, when my parents scream at me and treat me like I'm the bane of their existence, I'm FEEL LIKE THEY'RE SEXUAL SADISTS. The truth is I want a life with a woman. They're not holding me prisoner. My chains are internal, not maternal.

Post 10:

Dr. Coplan said: "Hostile dependency in extreme"

"Why don't you go back to fountain house to meet somebody"