Some Posts (04 03 2023)

Post 01:

If anyone intentionally gave me the HIV scare, please tell me and don't lie. Some of the photos and social media content prior to it happening seems fishy in my opinion. I really want to believe it was an accident. For some reason, I just don't. Maybe accept it was and let go.

Post 02:

Everyone tells me the HIV scare was unintentional and accidental. I don't know why I have such a hard time believing that. I see messages in the photos and social media posts that I feel confirm it's about to happen. Maybe it's idea of reference, predicate logic, delusion?

Post 03:

I want to believe the HIV scare was intentional and planned. I blame my parents, Kelly, Dr. Garrett, anyone. I blame the lounge for the debris. Maybe I'm looking to blame someone. Take accountability for my mental illness and anxiety leading to it occuring. It was an accident.

Post 04:

I've been involuntarily celibate for way too long. I'm extremely sexually frustrated and HUNGRY. My parents aren't doing it to me and getting pleasure from my suffering. It's my responsibility to meet a girlfriend. If there's anyone out there, it's not "hot" or "funny." Help me!

Post 05:

The HIV scare really wasn't an accident. I know it. They know it. I'm going to legitimately snap if they confirm it's true.  They've been planning it for YEARS prior to 2019 because they're sexual sadists. It's not fair. It's not right. It's evil.

Post 06:

The worst part is I was basically a virgin, had very little sex prior to the HIV scare occurring, then it happened (January 2020). It felt like a metaphoric rape. Now I feel like damaged goods. Women are scared of me. I feel like I have HIV now. Tho, I don't actually. It's PTSD.

Post 07:

I already felt extremely self-conscious around women and was isolating prior to the HIV scare. Now I'll have to disclose to all future romantic partners how I took PrEP. It's just so horrible. I didn't deserve it.