Post 01:
Honestly, I feel really zonked and chemically lobotomized on the high dose of abilify that I'm taking. I was doing just fine on 10 mg. I'm not sure why they increased it. They shouldn't have. I'm so fatigued. I can't even stay awake. I'm going to ask to reduce at partial program.
Post 02:
Some say when it comes to college, taking medications, it was my decision to take everything. I disagree. Even if my mother's intentions weren't nefarious, she very much was controlling me. I had no freedom or choice. You can disagree. That's fine. We'll agree to disagree.
Post 03:
I don't know if she still feels bad about January 2020, but I believe she does and it still sucks it happened. Not to imply she's to blame because she's not at all.
Post 04:
I was about to give in and buy a yearly membership so I could have the blue check mark on my Twitter account, then I realized there are so many social media platforms. I could go elsewhere. Although Twitter is very popular. Why pay just so I can have tons of features?
Post 05:
To my knowledge, I've never met the social media model or dated her, but I could tell she's friendly, fun, and easy to get along with. It seems like we'd make good friends. She hides her face and disguises her voice, but something seems fishy. Maybe I actually know her?
Post 06:
Ideally, no one wants to be on psychiatric medications, but sometimes you prove you need them. They are important because they calm me down and help me see clearly. Also, they keep me out of the hospital.
Post 07:
The psychiatric medications have adverse side effects. I'm eating a lot more, get headaches, extreme fatigue, brain fog (memory issues), esophagus "paralysis" (difficulty swallowing). I don't want dementia or cancer. Though, I want to be mentally healthy. I'm calmer on my meds.
Post 08:
An incorrect thought I'll often get: my parents INTENDED to hurt me. They're evil. They did this to me.
This can be changed to: they did the best they could. They owe me nothing at 35 years old.
Post 09:
A delusion I often get: an ex-girlfriend, old friend, undercover celebrity, someone significant LOVES ME IN SECRET.
The reality: I'm pouring my life down the drain solitary.
Post 10:
I belive I should be a rich and famous movie star. Swallow my pride and get any job, even if it's a restaurant waiter or stocking shelves at a supermarket. I shouldn't be a late-night talk show host. That takes years of hard work to obtain.
Post 11:
Social media for me is like a gambling addiction, I think it's going to pay off with superstardom. I need socialization, self-esteem, and financial independence in the real world. My ticket to freedom is NOT SOCIAL MEDIA.
Post 12:
I'm a very talented artist. I intended to get more involved in acting, comedy, and performance to an audience. Reach out to comedy clubs again. Research venues where I can do this. Practice lines and material. Send the emails, make the call. Do it! Don't make excuses.
Post 13:
It's ironic that the people who tried to allege and push the narrative I was a miserable, negative, bad person were ACTUALLY horrible people. I was the good guy who has a heart of gold. Sadly, since I was like a child in my adulthood everyone had power over me.
Post 14:
Stop talking about myself so much and take a GENUINE INTEREST in others. That is how you develop interpersonal relationships and make friends. You listen, then respond. Nobody wants to hear you talk about yourself nonstop in a one-way conversion. I have a bad habit of doing this.
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